Woman considers 'sleep divorce' after struggling to sleep next to husband

The husband constantly fidgets, snores loudly, frequently visits the bathroom trips with the lights on

A woman has turned to online forum Mumsnet for advice on how to approach a sensitive issue with her husband: she says sleeping next to him has become "torture" and is considering what some call a "sleep divorce".

In her post, the wife explained that although she loves her husband, sharing a bed has deteriorated into a nightly struggle. She described his disruptive habits, including constant fidgeting due to an aching shoulder, loud snoring, frequent bathroom trips with the lights on, and disruptive noises, all of which have made it difficult for her to rest.

Despite asking him to cut back on late-night coffee and adjust his habits, she said her husband insisted it made no difference. She also detailed situations where she was nudged in the back, breathed on during sleep, or had the duvet pulled away from her when he got hot.

The woman added that her husband’s early morning alarm, set for 5 a.m. and often put on snooze, further interrupts her rest, leaving her struggling with daytime fatigue and difficulty staying alert.

“I read online that having separate beds is the first step down the road to a divorce. I also read that broken sleep leads to health problems,” she wrote, explaining that she wants to ask for separate beds but is afraid of hurting his feelings.

Responses from other Mumsnet users were largely supportive, with many encouraging her to prioritise her health and sleep quality. Some suggested starting with separate beds or bedrooms, noting that good sleep is essential and that many couples find such arrangements improves their relationship. Others recommended easing into the change by sharing the bed on select nights to soften the impact.

While the idea of sleeping apart can feel difficult to bring up, commenters emphasised that open communication and prioritising one’s well‑being can be more important than avoiding an uncomfortable conversation.