Missing algorithm of parental care

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If you are unaware of your nomophobic children's activities on social media, the drama series Adolescence is a must watch for you.

The show kick-starts the action with police raiding the home of Eddie Miller to arrest his 13-year-old son Jamie for the murder of a female classmate Katie. Both parents and their son protest to deny the murder but when police show them a chilling CCTV footage revealing Jamie perpetrating the murder through frenzied multiple stabbing, the father withdraws his protest. Now, the drama proceeds as a whydunit instead of a whodunit.

The object of my visceral and cerebral interest is the fourth and last episode which centres upon the suspect's parents who are shown to regret where the lapse has been left in their parenting. Stephen Graham, who co-wrote the drama and played the role of the suspect's father, talked about his role to Netflix Tudum: "You need to understand how he allowed his son to become absent, what he taught his son, and what he didn't teach his son."

The mother says that after school, their son was considered safe in his room all alone with his mobile phone. But they didn't know what he was going through and what content he was munching on.

Eddie, the suspect's father, remembers his own childhood when his father thrashed him with a leather belt. Eddie says that he promised to himself not to be a chip off the old block. Though Eddie was friendly with his son but he dared not trespass the privacy of his son. This privacy, which the Gen Z and Gen Alpha claim to be their right and was endorsed by the Western culture, has turned them most vulnerable to cyber indoctrination as they are now being parented by social media.

The same thematic thread of parental responsibility in the digital age is also touched in the relationship between the investigation officer and his son who studies in the same school. It's the detective's son who initiates him in understanding the contextual symbolism of emojis. From here, the detective comes to know that the suspect was cyberbullied by the victim.

The lack of familial conversations, whether friendly or intimate, deprives the youth of familial validation which they try to replace with peer validation sought on digital fora. According to the experts at Raising Children Network, "a teen's sense of self-worth can be heavily influenced by peer feedback, whether online or offline."

When a friend 'unfollows' them, it's not trivial in their eyes – it's a form of social rejection.

The drama questions why parents don't provide their children the algorithm of parental care and emotional support in the times of distress. Ashley Walters, who plays the role of the detective, told a screening audience on March 13 that the show would inspire parents to be involved in conversations with their children and all parents would wish to avoid the fate of the family. As Graham told Netflix: "... Instead, we wanted you to look at this family and think, 'My God. This could be happening to us!'" The show is a tragedy of Jamie more than that of Katie's loss.

Michelle Mitchell, a parenting expert, writes on her website: "The dear kids and teens who are most vulnerable to the manosphere are kids who are not connected to loving, caring homes." Annabel Hoare of Anglia Ruskin University writes in her article published in The Conversation: "Research commissioned by media regulator Ofcom found that children were more likely to come across harmful content if their parents are less engaged in what they are doing."

Willing suspension of disbelief isn't going to work in the digital world. "Research shows that teaching children to be sceptical about what they see online can inoculate them against mis- and disinformation," writes Annabel Hoare. Ideally, parents must develop such a rapport with their children that they are befriended on social media.

However, the drama ends on an optimistic note that the family confess the lacunae in their parenting and determine with 'adaptive regret' to move towards the future without ignoring the past. The final note ends with the father finally allowing himself to cry, tucking his son's teddy on the pillow and kissing it on the forehead: "I'm sorry, son. I should have done better."