In this month of love, if you want to help get over a break-up, singer Atif Aslam has the perfect advice: just be happy that it happened and move on.
Filming a special behind-the-scenes video of his upcoming Qatar concert, Atif delighted fans with a candid nearly 15-minute video on his YouTube channel on Thursday where he answered questions about anything they could think of, ranging from whether or prefers chocolate cake or a cookie ("A cookie!") to the inspiration behind his cult hit Aadat ("It came from a place of loneliness"), or, as a fan from Delhi asked, how he could best advise her to get over a breakup.
"Congratulations, this is the best thing you could have done for yourself!" exclaimed Atif in his vlog, breaking into a smile.
To make it clear, Atif is not against romantic love per se; as a successful musician and a happily married man and father, he is merely in a place where he understands that it is not the end-all or be-all – as his subsequent words explained.
"I'm very proud of you. Life is about more than just breakups and relationships!" stressed Atif. "Make your career, flourish in it. "And then make enough money so that a relationship is something you will find yourself."
Navigating marriage
It was not just moving past a broken relationship that Atif offered advice on – the singer also gave a little window into the machinations of his own marriage, and how he personally tackles conflict. In answer to another fan's question about how he handles fights with his wife of nearly 12 years, Sara Bharwana, Atif baldly stated, "When my wife is upset with me, I just say sorry. It's as simple as that."
Atif confessed, however, that learning how to apologise is not something that has always come easily or naturally to him, and that he has worked on his conflict-resolution skills since tying the knot.
"I have heard from friends that getting the word sorry out of me is the hardest thing ever, and I reflected on that," mused Atif. "I realised it is a form of ego, and I also know that Allah does not like ego at all."
Passing on the torch, Atif added, "So when you feel something is your fault and someone makes you realise it, and you understand they are right, don't be stubborn!"
Looking back on 'Aadat'
Atif reflected that there was a time when he could have never imagined that the success of Aadat (2004) would catapult him to where he is today.
"The backstory of Aadat is that I was going through a breakup," said Atif in answer to a query. "There were certain elements of my life and I knew I would rather communicate through lyrics and melody. Our social media was MIRC chatrooms and dial-up networks. I never imagined it would become as popular as it did."
Juggling family and career
When asked about how he balances touring and meeting the needs of his family, Atif credited his parents for introducing him to the concept of prayer, which he says keeps him grounded. "That is ultimately everything," noted Atif, and also made special mention of his wife Sara's support.
"I've been blessed with a beautiful wife – she is my support system, and if she was not there, I wouldn't be here now," said the Tere Bin singer warmly. "She is my backup."
Contrary to people's images of a music star coming with a big ego, Atif – a self-professed introvert ("No one told me that we need to talk!") who found a way to express his feelings via music – added that the only reason he had undertaken the vlog in the first place was so that his fans had asked for it. His fans, in turn, have loved him for it.
"I never want Atif Aslam to end," penned a commenter. "He is the one who makes me feel like I am in a relationship even when I am single."
Bowled over by Atif's candid video, another fan added, "Love how sweet, humble, approachable, and a little bit silly he is!"
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