Rambo's burst of bad marital tips and advice

Actor gives problematic take on tackling conflict

Are you married couples out there in dire straits pondering how to navigate conflict? Do you find yourselves trapped in an endless cycle of shouting, your voices escalating without a resolution in sight? Well, you need worry no more, because Jan Rambo has a foolproof method of conflict resolution.

"Things get out of hand when both parties get angry at the same time," observes the Baby Baji actor in a recent interview on a local chat show. "My advice to married couples is this: when your wife is upset at you and says something in anger, keep quiet."

So far, so good. However, men with a penchant for patriarchy and a burning love for misogyny will be pleased to note that Rambo takes it a step further. In this particular situation, he has constructed an idyllic scenario in his head featuring himself (the stoic hero who bears his traumas in silence) and a fervent apology from his wife (the unreasonable shrew). The apology is accompanied by a conciliatory cup of tea headed like a winged cupid for the stoic hero.

"Five minutes later, she herself will come to you with an apology if you keep quiet," assures Rambo. "Not only that, she will also bring you a cup of tea."

Rambo warns of dire consequences for the man who refrains from holding his tongue. Instead of an apology and a cup of tea, a far worse fate is in store for him.

"If you also start shouting, your wife will pick up the phone and call her mother, and then her mother will say that she is on her way and come and visit you," he cautions. "We must all protect ourselves from things like that."

Rambo fails to consider that perhaps this angry wife has good reason for directing her anger at her husband, because, of course, in his patriarchal imaginary scenario, it is inconceivable that a woman could be right and a man could be wrong. It falls on the man's lot, therefore, to handle this shrew of a woman with care and delicacy, like perhaps one would handle a live grenade.

Rambo's private views may well allow his marriage to flourish, but the fact remains that he is a public figure dispelling this marital advice marinated in misogyny to, well, the public. In other words, his views where a wife automatically owes her husband a cup of tea (because he can never be wrong) will do no favours to a couple attempting to deconstruct generations of patriarchy. Don't be like Rambo. Learn to have a dialogue instead.