Biryani, bling & bankruptcy: Pakistani wedding trifecta

In Pakistan, extravagant weddings are the norm, while societal pressure drives families into financial ruin.

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Ah, Pakistan. The land where contradictions thrive alongside its vibrant culture. While economists warn of financial doom and experts dissect economic crises, another reality thrives here. It is a world where wealth is not just displayed but wielded in a fierce contest of who can host the most ostentatious wedding. Dollars, alongside rupees, flow freely as if to declare to the universe that poverty is merely an abstract concept - perhaps someone else's concern. Approximately two million weddings take place in Pakistan every year, with an average wedding costing anywhere from Rs10 to 20 million for middle and upper-middle-class families.

Weddings have transformed from simple celebrations to extravagant showcases. They have become arenas where families vie for the title of hosting the grandest affair. Helicopters carrying grooms, imported floral decorations worth more than an average family's yearly expenses, and guest lists that could fill a stadium are now standard. The soil of Pakistan, it seems, is not deemed glamorous enough, so weddings often migrate to exotic locations in Thailand or Dubai. A recent event saw a bride arriving in a convoy of Rolls-Royces, while performers flown in from abroad entertained guests beneath fireworks that could illuminate an entire city.

One wonders what this obsession is. Is it genuine happiness or an elaborate performance? Are these families mocking those less fortunate, or are they enslaved by societal pressures that equate wealth with honour? The desperation to outshine one another suggests a belief that the success of a marriage is tied to the size of the chandelier or the extravagance of the stage.

The irony is piercing. Statistics reveal that many of these unions do not last beyond a few months. All those millions spent, the meticulous planning, and the mountains of waste from disposable decorations - only for marriages that collapse at the first argument over mundane matters like toothpaste caps.

Islam emphasises simplicity in weddings. Marriage is meant to be a sacred bond rooted in mutual respect and modesty, rather than a competition of wealth. But somewhere along the way, the essence of this sacred institution has been overshadowed by the race for extravagance.

In contrast, many Western weddings prioritise practicality. Civil ceremonies and modest gatherings are common. Couples focus on their future rather than indulging in grandiose displays. A 2022 survey in the United States found that the average wedding cost $30,000, including essential services. In Pakistan, however, weddings often exceed Rs20 million, with middle-class families draining savings or falling into debt to meet societal expectations.

This financial strain has real consequences. A Gallup Pakistan report from 2023 highlighted that over 40% of men and women in their 30s remain unmarried, citing exorbitant wedding expenses as a significant barrier. The pressure to conform to societal standards delays marriages, exacerbates inequality, and creates unnecessary hurdles for many.

Behavioural economics offers insights into this phenomenon. The bandwagon effect compels individuals to mimic others, equating lavish spending with status. Conspicuous consumption perpetuates the idea that wealth must be displayed publicly. The anchoring effect ensures that once someone hosts a wedding featuring helicopters and exotic destinations, it becomes the new benchmark, compelling others to follow suit. This vicious cycle traps families in a never-ending race to keep up appearances.

In this race, it is not uncommon for a wedding dress, worn for a mere few hours, to cost a fortune. Designers proudly showcase outfits with price tags in the millions, adding yet another layer of pressure for brides to outshine one another.

Regulations exist to curb such extravagance. The Marriage Functions Ordinance limits the number of dishes served and aims to prohibit wasteful spending. However, enforcement is another matter. Laws are powerless against billionaires hiring jets to transport dowries adorned with gold-plated furniture.

Perhaps it is time to reevaluate our priorities. Imagine if a fraction of the money spent on these events were invested in education, healthcare, or infrastructure. Imagine if the same energy directed toward one-upping neighbours were instead focused on uplifting communities.

But why embrace practicality when you can emulate Ambani-style weddings, complete with pre-wedding celebrations rivaling festivals? The desire to imitate the world's wealthiest families knows no bounds. There is an old saying that if your neighbour's face is red, there is no need to slap yourself to match their hue. Yet, in Pakistan, the slap seems inevitable as families chase these impossible standards.

So, to anyone still calling Pakistan a poor country, here lies the evidence: the glittering, dollar-drenched spectacle of its wedding season. Poverty, it seems, is not our issue. Perhaps you are simply attending the wrong events.