Insult to empowerment

How women are reclaiming the ‘childless cat lady’ label

LONDON:

In 2021, JD Vance, Republican nominee for Vice President, made waves with a controversial statement: “We’re effectively run, in this country, via the Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made, and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.” These words sparked outrage and raised significant questions about the perception of women without children in modern society. But what does it really mean to be a “childless cat lady”? And is it the disparaging label Vance intended it to be?

When you hear the phrase “childless cat lady,” an image might pop into your head: an older woman, alone in her overly floral home, feeding a number of cats that exceeds social norms. In the darker corners of imagination, you might picture this woman’s death, still alone, as her cats sashay past, wondering about their next meal. This image is now outdated, and frankly, sexist. And despite this shaming becoming a growing trend in Western society, we now know the phrase is not the negative term people have made it out to be.

When you live in a society that starts targeting women above 20 for marriage as if they have a bullseye attached to their forehead, there comes a time when you realise, a family’s worst fear for their daughter might be that they end up being one of these “childless cat ladies”. After they are married and haven’t yet had children, the childless cat lady jabs, in many shapes and forms, come almost regularly. The most common: “You’ll be much happier once you have children”. That is apparently also the remedy to an unhappy marriage.

There are many women who are perfectly content being “childless cat ladies” (cat not necessary; dogs, hamsters, or goldfish will do in a pinch). These women choose daily not to be mothers. Does that make them miserable human beings? Apparently, according to Vance, it does, because the only way to happiness is through procreation. But it’s normal for some not to want miniature versions of themselves running around with perpetually sticky hands, leaving stains on hand-woven upholstery it took years to save up for. It’s more than okay to find the solace and fulfilment most women feel after carrying a baby for nine months by adopting a pet or closing a deal you’ve spent months on. These women are as much a part of society as those who tirelessly care for their offspring.

Vance also argued that these women don’t have a “direct stake” in the country because they aren’t mothers. This ignores the years women have fought for human rights, cared for others in their communities, and worked to make the world safer for future generations. Women, regardless of their maternal status, have a vested interest in the well-being of their country.

Not everyone has the luxury of choosing to be “childless.” Many women assume fertility is a given, only to face the harsh reality of infertility. They endure treatments, painful tests, and surgeries in the hope of having children. Vance’s comment was tone-deaf to these women’s struggles and to those who have lost children. They are full members of society with an equal stake in it as much as any other.

If Vance came at women with a knife, we retaliated with a machete. The internet was chaos when these comments resurfaced, and women everywhere had much to say. Elena Moser wrote to the New York Times, “As a stepmother of a wonderful young woman, I take great offence at JD Vance’s reference to Kamala Harris as childless, suggesting that only biological parents can have a stake in the future. Harris’s stepchildren call her ‘Momala’. They chose this to honour her central role in their lives. Many of us are ‘Momalas’, parenting or participating in the raising of children whom they are not biologically related to and caring deeply about the future of all our children, our country and our planet.”

Another outraged American woman said, “JD Vance ignores the fact that the taxes of childless Americans pay for other people’s children’s health care, childcare, education, playgrounds, and a host of other benefits, all without any direct benefit to themselves.”

While a chunk of the internet was furious, X (formally Twitter) saw women embracing the “childless cat lady” persona and posting pictures of themselves with their cats or sharing images of famous women in history who never had kids posing with their cats. The most famous ones that came up: Marilyn Monroe, Dolly Parton and Taylor Swift. They’re doing (or did) pretty well for themselves, aren’t they? If this whole ordeal has taught us one thing, it’s that women are more confident than ever with their decision.

Someone even shared a hilarious comic style drawing of George Washington which showed the (also childless) American Founding Father replying to Vance’s “direct stake” comment with, “I guess that makes me a childless cat lady as well”.