Abandoned children of divorced couples face uncertain futures

LAHORE:

Although divorce is the legal right of any man or woman stuck in an unfulfilling conjugal bond, the drawbacks of an ill-planned marriage termination cannot be downplayed for the innocent children born out of the doomed wedlock, whose uncertain future might involve ending up in the custody of a surly step parent or worse being left abandoned at an alien shelter home.

Imagine for instance the life of 12-year-old Aman Javed, who has been living in Lahore’s Child Protection Bureau for the past several months. After the girl’s parents went through an ugly divorce, her mother remarried while her father, the custodial parent, decided to abandon her at the shelter home.

Aman’s plight is shared by hundreds of other children abandoned by divorced couples in Lahore where almost 14,000 cases of divorce were reported last year. These abandoned children end up unwillingly under the protection of the Child Protection and Welfare Bureau, which currently is home to a total of 150 children, out of which 35 to 40 come from broken home families. While some poor children like Aman are intentionally abandoned by their custodial parent others are left at the doors of the shelter home by helpless divorcees whose new spouses refuse to accept the presence of the harmless children in their homes.

According to Sobia Qadir Butt, a family lawyer advocating divorce cases at the Lahore High Court, several reasons contribute towards children being left abandoned at a shelter home after a couple’s divorce.

“Such cases happen when the decision of divorce is taken haphazardly without considering the practical implications of the deed on the children. After separation, if the financial conditions of the custodial parent, especially the mother, are poor, they are soon forced to leave the child in a shelter home. Similarly, when one of the parents remarries, the second wife or husband does not accept the children from the previous marriage, and they are left at a shelter home. Moreover, if the child suffers from any disability and the couple is separated, then in such a situation too, the child is abandoned,” observed Butt.

Rabia Yusuf, a child psychologist, while sympathising with the heart-wrenching ordeal of abandoned children from broken homes, highlighted the unique psychosocial implications of divorce on the suffering children. “After the couple’s divorce, when children are abandoned in such a way by both the parents, they develop a multiplicity of psychological problems. The absence of parental affection in their life causes them to develop feelings of inferiority, which over time create a void in their personality. They like to stay aloof from other children, grow excessively irritable and start throwing frequent tantrums. Such children require prolonged counselling,” urged Yusuf.

“The Child Protection Bureau ensures that the education, health and accommodation needs of all resident children are taken care of. Children are given permanent residence in the bureau only on the orders of the court. The court grants the bureau temporary custody of these children,” asserted Sarah Ahmed, Chairperson of the Child Protection and Welfare Bureau.

Speaking to the Express Tribune on the matter, the spokesperson for the Punjab Social Welfare Department said, “We have set up centres for orphans, and needy children in various districts of Punjab including Lahore. There are currently 12 Model Children’s Homes for boys and three Kashana Centers for girls in Punjab, in which more than 500 boys and girls are staying. Among these children, there are many whose parents have separated and have left them at the shelter home.”