5 reasons why Aishwarya Rai Bachchan's Cannes stylist should be in fashion jail

Whatever is going on with the star's Cannes outfits isn't all that

KARACHI:

Let me be the first to say that I am, in no way, a fashion guru. Heck, I'm not even an enthusiast. That one semester I studied fashion journalism, I had to memorise a list of words about the field, which I have since forgotten.

That being said, I'm pretty sure whatever is going on with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan's Cannes outfits isn't all that. I may not know fashion, but I know that's not it. Anyway, here are a few thoughts I had about her Cannes looks, and why I believe her stylist should maybe be in fashion jail, if that's a thing:

There's just no way

When I saw Aish's look on day one, I was...taken aback. See, all my life, I thought Cannes was a big deal and you had to have Urfi Javed-level innovation to make it. But apparently, you can show up in a blanket with flowers glued to it. Who knew?

Aish, I defended you

When the superstar showed up previously in what looked like an over-inflated pillowcase at Cannes, I was the first to sing praises of her look. It didn't warrant any, of course, but my homegirl was pulling off the look and slaying while at it. Had I known that would have spurred the team on to make such... bold choices, perhaps I would have refrained.  (Yeah I know she didn't read my piece. Let a girl dream).

So, someone with design experience chose to make this?

Headlines everywhere said, "Ooh look at Aish arriving in custom Falguni Shane Peacock," but all I was thinking was, "Someone got paid to make this?"

The designer is team Jaya, no?

Okay FINE, maybe there's a bit of internalised misogyny at play when the news talks about Jaya and Aish not getting along and people like me gulp it up. But is it wrong to think that Jaya slipped her stylist a little extra moolah (or sternly scolded them) to have this happen? It probably is, but the thought crossed my mind and now it's here. 

You didn't have to wear Aaradhya's third-grade project

I know Aish is a great mom (probably, we're not close friends so I'm just guessing). And yes, I know she technically wore Falguni Shane Peacock on day two as well. But did she, really? How do we know that's not Aaradhya's arts and crafts project? Can we really tell the difference with all the sparkles and what can only be assumed is coloured gel paper?

In all fairness, Aish is an icon and will remain so. Besides, she attended the event with an injury with audacious confidence. This is but a blip in the timeline of her legacy but man, is it a particularly awful fumble, and that too at Cannes. Oof.

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