Watching 'The Archies' is a grueling marathon to a mediocre finish line

Netflix's 1.5x speed, too, could not help remedy the pace


Sajeer Shaikh December 08, 2023
KARACHI:

The year is 1964. A group of teenagers as old as the nation of India itself are on the precipice of adulthood, and a conflict must push them over the edge. Hiram Lodge (Alyy Khan) wants to construct a plaza at a key position in Riverdale: Green Park, where the 8000-something population of the Anglo-Indian town have buried traces of their histories and identities in the form of lush, sturdy trees. Citizens must unite to save their beloved park, but obstacles, musical numbers, side plots, and an audacious run-time of more than two hours get in the way.

On paper, The Archies should be fantastical. Firstly, it's a musical, which is home turf for Bollywood. Secondly, it has Zoya Akhtar firmly grasping the directorial reigns. Finally, it has a cast that contains star kids from the Bachchan, Khan, and Kapoor households (not that being born into a family of actors is a guaranteed marker for or determinant of success). That combination, alongside the added nostalgia of the Archie Comics, has one going in hoping to be left pleasantly gobsmacked. What follows, however, is nearly two hours of thinking, "Wait, what?"

The OTT game

As an OTT offering, The Archies has a different genre of films to compete with. While an action-packed, gloriously larger-than-life Pathaan or Jawan is better watched on the huge screen, it makes sense to consume a Haseen Dillruba or Darlings on the comfort of a phone, laptop, tablet, or television. As a Pakistani consumer, you are, of course, deprived of the former experience altogether, but one gets a sense that distinct experiences belong to specific screens.

The Archies does not seem to belong to either. It lacks the unabashed majesty of the typical Bollywood masala film, which, of course, it is not aiming to be, in the first place. However, it also feels drained of the pace and immersion of a typical Indian OTT offering. Where the film feels like a festive celebration at times, it also feels like an immense drag at others. More than anything else, it lacks the Zoya factor - something that's been evident in offerings like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara or Dil Dhadakne Do.

A brave attempt

This is not to say that The Archies is awful. The cinematography is breathtaking. The world-building is brilliant, and it respects its source material in a way that many other iterations of the Archie Comics simply do not (looking at you, Riverdale). Each cast member is perfect for the character they're essaying. Yet, the film lacks something - heart, perhaps, and nuance.

It is thus that the aforementioned limbo in which The Archies finds itself is quite an intriguing space. On one hand, this Disney-meets-Bollywood sort of narrative could pave a path for a theatrical experience at home. On the other, it could be a one-trick-pony of a method, that only works because of the work put into The Archies.

And truly, one can tell that a lot of work went into the project. As mentioned before, a great amount of detail is put into respecting the film's universe of origin. However, in respecting the source material, the film loses its Bollywood touch quite often. White names on brown bodies remind one of the essays one would write back in school, where every other character was Peter or John because those were the books one had read. Again, one cannot blame the film for this. The audience knew this going in. However, one can point fingers at the restraint shown towards creative liberties that could have been taken, but weren't. After all, if Riverdale can do it, why not The Archies?

The dialogue reads like a string of cliches, Instagram quotes and jokes strung together. For a Bollywood musical, the songs are exceptionally forgetful and, at times, laborious to sit through. Emotions linger on the surface. Archie Andrews (Agastya Nanda) two times Betty Cooper (Khushi Kapoor) and Veronica Lodge (Suhana Khan), but all is forgiven in a jiffy due to friendship. Betty apologises to Veronica for kissing Archie, and a swift hug seals what could be a point of contention. There is a certain level of agency the two young women exert when deciding that a boy is not going to dictate their equation and happiness, but it is resolved far too swiftly to be believable.

The cast saves these flimsy narrative threads in a way that begets the thought: perhaps, it's meant to play out like a comic. The acting is mannered, yet authentic in a way where, while it does not immerse you, it reminds you that it is, indeed, Veronica, Betty, Archie, or Jughead that you see on-screen, and not the actors essaying them. Yet, this mix of Bollywood with comics makes for a rather abrupt viewing experience, where you feel yourself swivelling in and out of the film.

It's also fascinating to note that in a cast of Indian star kids, many of whom come from reputable film backgrounds, it is a seasoned Pakistani star who steals the show. Alyy as Hiram is compelling, commanding, and all too at ease at playing the suave antagonist. He wears Hiram like a second skin, and even though he is the profit-oriented, businessman embodiment of everything the gang stands against, one cannot help but root for him and consequently question one's own moral compass.

All in all, The Archies is...an experience. That's the best way to sum it up. It's fun and groovy at times, while a chore at others. The cast takes turns exuding necessary youthful exuberance, while also delivering painfully tired lines. Does this make for a vital experience? Well - if you're a fan of the comics, Zoya, and Indian cinema, you should give it a spin. After all, if a trip down memory lane through nostalgia is on the cards, may as well Bollywood it up a bit.

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