I never went away: Zeenat Aman set the record straight with 'Vogue India' feature

In a tell-all, the veteran Bollywood star shed light on fame, stardom, and more

Iconic Indian cinema star, Zeenat Aman, made waves when she joined Instagram earlier this year. With reflective posts that pondered over the past, alongside her unique anecdotes and insights, the star won hearts all over again with her brilliantly curated feed. Recently, in a diary-style entry for Vogue India, the veteran actor unveiled her life story with her trademark lyricism, offering readers a glimpse into her journey, her perspectives, and the impact of fame on her life.

On fame

 

 

 

 

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Aman described her fame as an "amorphous beast" that she finally managed to bring under her control after 50 years. She reflected on the different phases of her relationship with fame, comparing it to a purring cat on her lap or a slavering wolf breathing down her neck. However, she penned that she now sees it as an untameable companion that walks by her side, no longer dictating her every move.

Shedding light on the stardom she enjoyed and her life during current times, Aman penned, "I have led a life of breathtaking highs and profound lows. There is nothing I regret, and nobody that I owe. Any shame or fear that has ever dogged me has long evaporated. There are incidents in my life that the public cling to and that are dredged up again and again. I am aware of these, and becoming increasingly immune to them. My life is not defined by a few bad days that transpired many decades ago, and I need neither sympathy nor defence. I am content in myself."

She continued, "My days are full. When I’m not working, I’m spending time with my family, pottering around the garden, fussing over my dog Lily, watching Netflix, catching up with friends, and thinking about my next Instagram post. Acting offers consistently pop up, but nothing has yet sparked my fancy and I am happy to wait for something that does. Meanwhile, being on the cover of Vogue India reminds me that life moves in circles. I started my career as a model, and here I am again at 70-plus."

Elaborating further, she stated, "Some nights, I dream of a chase and wake up disoriented with my heart pounding in my chest—not from fear but exhilaration. My eyes always open before the chase concludes, and I imagine this dream is a metaphor for my life. Exhilarating, but not yet ready to conclude. The nature of the world is transient. Fame, money, love, good times and bad—these will come and go. I found my inner mettle when I accepted this truth. The only thing that is in my control is my attitude. Life is just what you make of it, and mine has been magnificent."

On priorities and her 'comeback'

 

 

 

 

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After years of living a life dictated by stardom, Aman revealed that she found herself yearning for something more meaningful—a family. The birth of her sons in the late 1980s brought her immense joy and allowed her to shift her focus from the relentless demands of her career to her personal life. With fewer work offers, she embraced the opportunity to cherish her family without the constant scrutiny and intrusion of outsiders.

Aman wrote, "After years of living a life dictated by stardom, a life of endless shifts, performances, appearances, rumours and obligations, my days had begun to ring hollow. I was aching for something of my own. A family, really. One with bonds as deep as the one I shared with my own mother. The birth of my sons in 1986 and 1989 gifted me all this and more. As I contended with their diapers and bibs, the prolonged illness and death of their father, then later school scrapes and college romances, work offers dwindled and I was happy for it. The residue of my early fame still allowed me the occasional opportunity that kept my kitchen running, but without the scrutiny or intrusion of outsiders."

Talking about her 'comeback,' as many have labelled her Instagram debut, the star commented, "I’m not surprised, then, that my appearance on social media is being hailed as a ‘comeback’, some even referring to it as my ‘second innings’. I, for one, do not see it as such. This is not a comeback. I never went away."

On fashion

 

 

 

 

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While Vogue India is known for its focus on fashion, Aman expressed her belief that fashion should not be taken too seriously. "Clothes are meant to be worn and enjoyed as an expression of individuality and comfort. They can certainly be powerful and shape our self-image. I am not denying the creativity of designers nor the skill it takes to create fine clothes, but what I am protesting is the obsession with appearance and couture that I see around me. In a world brimming with wonder and suffering, fashion should bring us joy and utility, not turmoil and self-obsession," highlighted the star. 

Talking about her own fashion choices, Aman penned, "Over the years, I’ve worn it all (and nearly bared it all) and had great fun doing it. I realised early on that the world desired youth and beauty from women in the film industry. So I leveraged my looks, but I also chose roles that pushed the envelope. Still, there was far more interest in my face and figure than there ever was in my intellect. This is one reason that I have loved ageing—it has evened the scales."

On Instagram as her mouthpiece

 

 

 

 

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The legendary actor revealed that it took months of persuasion from her younger son and his partner for her to join Instagram. Initially hesitant, she eventually succumbed to their insistence and discovered the joy of publicly speaking her own truths. Through Instagram, she found the freedom to express herself and set the record straight on her own terms, liberating her from the suffocating gossip and perceptions that plagued her during her heyday.

"I didn’t realise how much being able to publicly speak my own truths would delight me," said the star. "As a leading actor in the ’70s, I was always a subject of conversation, but almost never on my own terms. The gossip and perceptions could be suffocating, and there was rarely recourse to set the record straight. On Instagram, I have found the freedom to express myself. It’s liberating, and consequently, I haven’t accepted a single interview request that’s come my way since February."

When touching upon her impact on audiences, Aman humbly penned, "The geographical scope of my followers fascinates me because it was intangible in my youth—a time before the internet. This isn’t a comeback, but it is something of a coming around. I am only today acknowledging the impact of my career on the lives of thousands of strangers. That people remember my work and were positively influenced by it makes me happy. They may not know me personally, but I represent something to them—perhaps a beautiful memory or a moment of empowerment—and that is an invaluable privilege."

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