Divorce is not a solution: TikToker Kanwal Aftab doubles down on stance amidst criticism

Aftab was criticised by many for suggesting women "fix" their husbands instead of leaving a violent situation

TikToker and Instagram influencer Kanwal Aftab found herself embroiled in controversy and facing severe backlash after making statements that seemed to suggest she was encouraging women to support abusive husbands. The incident occurred during a question and answer session on Instagram, where Aftab, who boasts a substantial following of over 2.8 million users, was asked for advice on dealing with an abusive spouse when one is unable to secure employment.

Addressing the backlash in a now-deleted video, Aftab stated, "Divorce is not a solution. In a lot of matters, support each other, make each other understand, and instill something in each other's minds to better a situation. Even if my husband has acted poorly towards me, I will wait till his anger cools and then take it up with love. When my anger cools, he will talk to me with love and tell me not to do it again. It can't be that he's disrespected me and I divorce him."

She went on to clarify, "Secondly, someone thought I am supporting domestic violence. I'm saying, support your husband, and try to better his situation - not support him for domestic violence. A lot of people perhaps did not understand this small thing. This was made a huge deal out of and the general population piled on. Even my family members have told me that if anything happens, I must fix it myself. Whether it's the mother-in-law or husband saying anything. You can't just feel bad and ask for a divorce...You can fix a lot of matters yourself."

What is she even talking about? It's as if she is comparing domestic violence with some kind of batmeezi, which doesn't make any sense. Educate yourself; this is a very serious issue.#kanwalaftab #saynotodomesticviolence pic.twitter.com/n8WtBfzV4s

— Momina (@Momina_imtiaz) June 21, 2023

The TikToker later put up an Instagram Story saying she has deleted the video due to misinterpretation. She also stated, "I'm not promoting and supporting domestic violence but if you still think I'm wrong, then [apologies]."

This comes after Aftab was called out by the founder of Soul Sisters Pakistan, Kanwal Ahmed, who took screenshots of her Instagram Stories about domestic violence. When asked what one should do in a situation where the husband is engaging in domestic violence and does not have a job, she responded, "Try to support him. Motivate him. Divorce is not a solution." These words were met with strong criticism from social media users, including Ahmed, who expressed her dismay, questioning whether Aftab was suggesting that women should cheer on their abusive partners as they inflicted harm.

Tiktoker Kanwal Aftab with 18.4 MILLION followers wants women to “support” and “motivate” husbands who abuse them. 🤡

Struggling to understand if that means cheering them on as they punch her? Or leaving a reminder to do it again when they’re done? 🤢 pic.twitter.com/zBr8zjW0kw

— Kanwal Ahmed (@kanwalful) June 20, 2023

Aftab faced further scrutiny when another user questioned if she genuinely believed that women should support their husbands while enduring domestic violence. Aftab's response only fueled the controversy as she replied, "Support him to improve his condition. Help him become better." Ahmed promptly shared this response as well, emphasising that women do not enter into marriages to "fix" abusive men or to validate and support their violent behaviour.

Women don’t get married to “fix” abusive men. Or to support and validate their violent behaviour. 😑 pic.twitter.com/cro43EDd84

— Kanwal Ahmed (@kanwalful) June 20, 2023

While Aftab attempted to provide further context and explanation for her earlier statements, the controversy surrounding her remarks remains. The incident serves as a reminder of the importance of responsible messaging, especially for influencers who wield significant influence over their followers. It also highlights the need for nuanced discussions around sensitive issues such as domestic violence, emphasising the importance of prioritising the safety and well-being of individuals in abusive relationships.

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