Hina Shamsi, in her book ‘Love Knot’ writes about a timid girl named Aaira who ends up getting married to a toxic individual. As the story progresses, the same girl starts gaining immense confidence and decides to end her marriage. Her husband does not want the marriage to end due to family pressure. Aaira, after a lot of struggle, finally manages to break ties with her husband, and moves on with her life with her only son, and eventually after several years, finds the love of her life.
What makes Shamsi’s book relatable is how she presents many of the very real social and cultural issues of Pakistani society. Aaira’s decision to leave her husband represents a choice that goes against societal norms. It is better to stay married when you have a child than to be happy and single. It is more important to adhere to family pressures than to be independent and pursue ones one wishes. Therefore, the book in many ways presents a road less travelled. Shamsi’s book details these harsh realities but at the same time also point towards a lovely truth: One doesn’t have to keep suffering through life for the sake of appearances.
Shamsi’s book is able to outline the many ways patriarchy presents itself in a marriage. The way Aaira’s husband refuses to take Aaira along to his friend’s house because Aaira questions him about why he wants her to change her clothes is an example of how in a Pakistani society a man is not able to accept is wife questioning him. This matter of choices and the lesson that women are and should make their own choices, is further played out when Aaira discussed this with her therapist, Zofeen. As Zoofen explains to Aaira, “It was never about clothes, Aaira. It was about your right to choose. Safeel married an adult; who had the right to decide according to her choice. Adulthood gives freedom of choice and a sense of accountability for those choices.” In many ways, culturally in Pakistan women are expected to obey their husbands and do whatever is being told without saying a word. Society fails to realise that women are human beings too with their own rights and choices too. This society teaches women that they cannot have choices of their own and any woman who tries to live her life according to her own likes and preferences is deemed a ‘bad’ woman or a ‘terrible wife’.
Another common place aspect of Pakistani culture that is presented by Shamsi in the book is how often women are blamed for actions carried out by men. For instance, Aaira’s mother never supports her and always seems to be blaming Aaira for her husband’s rude attitude. Aaira’s mother says, “Aaira, a good wife obeys all her husband’s wishes and does not argue over petty issues.” It is Aaira’s parents who taught her to live her life according to her husband’s wishes and thus, it is the parents who play the biggest role in destroying Aaira’s sense of agency. Due to this lack of support, Aaira stays in a toxic marriage for so long because she knows she has nowhere to go to incase her husband leaves her. The lack of support from her mother’s side leaves her absolutely helpless. This is so relatable for a number of women because women are often advised to sacrifice and save their marriages no matter how abusive and toxic it gets, and this advice usually comes from the women’s own parents. As Zofeen’s explains to Aaira, “You have been emotionally abused for years, Aaira. Not only by your partner but by many close to you.” This is so true because it is not just the husband who is responsible for this abuses but also the parents who tell their daughter to tolerate an abusive relationship no matter what. A very ugly truth is pointed towards in this book: A dead daughter is acceptable but a divorced daughter is not acceptable in Pakistani society.
This story, through Aaira’s sessions with her therapist, teaches us that there is nothing wrong with going to a therapist – another taboo in society. This story attempts to remove the stigma attached to mental health by giving details about Aaira’s frequent visits to her psychologist. This story perfectly explains how mental health is just as important as physical health and thus, it should never be ignored.
Another very important thing that this story teaches is how important it is for a woman to be financially independent, and in order to be independent, how important it is for a woman to complete her education. An educated and financially independent woman can come out of the toxic marriage even if she does not have the support of her family or anyone else. Aaira’s financial dependency on her husband is the major reason why her in-laws and husband try to control every part of her life. If Aaira had completed her education and become financially independent before her marriage, chances are that she would have left her husband and manipulative in-laws far earlier in the marriage.
Except for the dark and stark realities this book has pointed towards, the love story of Aaira and Mehmet also unveiled a beautiful truth. The truth is that there is no specific time, way or age to fall in love. Love can find you at anytime, in any way, at any age. Maybe you will end up meeting love on a day when you’re least expecting to do so. Maybe love will find you in a way that your mind has never even thought of, or maybe love reaches you at an age when you absolutely stop believing in love. Moreover, suffering through a bad marriage should not be the norm and being with someone for love should be far more socially acceptable.
The courage she gathers as the story goes on is remarkable and definitely worth mentioning. Her journey from a girl who was too afraid to voice out her opinions to a woman who finally decides to end the marriage makes this book a compelling read. Aaira, despite the odds against her, musters up the courage leave her husband and that is just the beginning of she sets about making a life for herself. She creates a life for herself – one that was worth taking that leap of faith and risking the disapproval of her family and society.
Shamsi’s attention to detail is also worth mentioning in the chapters where she dedcribes Aaira’s trip to Turkey. Aaira’s love story with Mehmet is detailed her in a way that it comes off the page makes one feel the story. Their lovely moments are explained so well in the novel that one feels as if he or she is feeling all the moments vicariously. The way their love starts and continues to grow and becomes stronger with the passage of time is too beautiful to be put in a couple of words here.
How lovely is that moment you think your life has ended is the moment your life takes an unexpected beautiful turn. You see such ravishing things coming your way that you have never seen before or expected coming. This is the beauty of fate and life, and this beauty is shown so well in this book that you will never doubt your fate and life again. This book fills you up with immense hope and joy.
This book is a must-read for all the women out there because it teaches one how strong a woman is and how it is important for every woman to realise her strength. Society often expects women to subjugate to patriarchal demands, it expects women to believe they are weak and should bow down and be submissive. However, if women were to start supporting each other instead of trying to playing into these social constructs where they as mother in laws, mothers, wives, sisters and sister-in-laws or even daughters to put each other down, then many of these gender dynamics can begin to evolve.
This book is full of mystery, romance, and dark realities - elements that make it a fulfilling read. The way this book starts with a beautiful scene of Aaira and Mehmat and then goes on to describe some harsh aspects of Aaira’s life is something that should not be missed. Aaira changes from a timid woman to a strong confident lady. The way she goes from not believing in love anymore to finding the true love of her life make the book both thought-provoking yet light-hearted enough to make it an enjoyable read.
How does Aaira end up getting married to her toxic husband? How does she become a strong, confident lady from a submissive wife? How does she end up separating from her husband even though her husband does not want to leave her? How do her parents react when they get to know that Aaira no longer wants to stay in her marriage? How does she go to therapist despite being well aware of the negative connotation attached to mental illness? How does she end up in Turkey all alone? How does she find the true love of her life? How does she realise that Mehmat is her true love? Do Aaira and Mehmat end up being together? If yes, what are the beautiful details of their love story? These are all questions that make this book hard to put down.