The reluctant mentalist


Basil Nabi Malik June 20, 2010

The pysche of the Muslim conservative in Pakistan has always tickled my fancy. With a long flowing beard, a belly that would make telettubbies jealous, and a penchant for sweet that few could match, I have always wondered what makes this literal ‘time bomb’ tick?

To understand the idiosyncrasies of the Muslim conservative, observing their behaviour is paramount. It is interesting to note that many conservatives can be seen refraining from letting their shalwar dangle below their ankles on the gut feeling that perhaps it would be disliked by the Almighty. Their rationale being that if there is even the slightest possibility that God wanted them to do so then that was reason enough to drop everything they were doing and start pulling their shalwars up. These birds of a feather take great pains to preach to others that one should refrain from listening to music because of the possibility of it being prohibited. It is this band of bearded brothers who opine that on going abroad, one shouldn’t eat out as there is a chance that the food you are eating is made from ingredients which are not halal. A Muslim should not use western perfume as most bottles contain alcohol. Needless to say, any counter argument stating that you don’t intend to drink the content of the perfume bottle is unlikely to impress the loveable conservative trying to save your soul.

But aside from the above mentioned idiosyncrasies of the Osama-loving conservative type, one question has always plagued me: if these conservatives cannot help but quiver at the thought of eating a french fry, that may or may not have been boiled in oil containing haram animal fat, then why doesn’t the same sense of religious fervour overwhelm them when it comes to killing dozens of innocent Muslim men, women and children by blowing themselves up?

And to date I haven’t been able to derive a satisfactory answer for the above question. This inherent hypocrisy could be for a multitude of reasons, ranging from a lack of education to brain washing to the Israeli-RAW connection. However, the fact remains that such blatant and stark contradictions in one’s behaviour isn’t limited to the likes of the Taliban. As much as I would love to refer to those conservatives with sympathies with the Taliban as the “others” who have within them all these shameful qualities and more, they are unfortunately not alone. After all, many of us feel that the banning of sites that disrespect our faith is necessary, but respecting the faith of others isn’t necessarily required. The West is cruel for its crooked double standards when it comes to freedom of speech, but then again, the majority in Pakistan don’t even enjoy that crooked minimal level of freedom. We can assemble reasonably sized protests against silly irrelevant forums such as Facebook, but can’t seem to muster up the energy to actually condemn and protest the massacre of over 80 Ahmadis simply because we don’t consider them “our brothers”. And not to be left behind, our present government preaches to the masses to exercise austerity, save energy, resources and what not, yet cheekishly introduces a budget which increases the expenses of the presidency to such a degree that its daily expenditure on food exceeds what most of us would earn in a year.

So although the plum shaped, teletubby conservatives can be cursed and condemned for all their shortcomings and double standards, the fact is that they are nothing more than an unflattering reflection of ourselves, albeit in a more violent form.

Published in The Express Tribune, June 21st, 2010.

COMMENTS (3)

Lady X | 13 years ago | Reply Rahim, darling, it's not the article that's ignorant.
rahim | 13 years ago | Reply ok im sorry but i expected better...this article is just plain old ignorant!
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