Why is everyone obsessed with 'Indian Matchmaking'?

The new Netflix hit seems to expose the faults in South Asian ‘rishta culture’


Yumna Aftab July 24, 2020

KARACHI:

Meet Sima Taparia, South Asia’s favourite new reality star thanks to Netflix’s new offering, Indian Matchmaking. Sima mami, a matchmaker from Mumbai, is all you need to secure yourself a viable future marriage.

With her extensive database of eligible men and women from India and America in one hand and her intense scrutiny of you in the other, Sima mami will make sure to get you married off by the end of the year – only if you’re willing to compromise.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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What is it about this show then that has made South Asian twitter implode on itself with criticism? Lest you are confused, everyone’s obsessed with it, regardless - it’s been on Netflix’s trending Top 10 list since its July 16 release. Despite its popularity, the series has been called out as problematic by many critics, perhaps that being a major reason for its popularity in fact.

While on the surface, the show may seem to offer the deep-rooted South Asian tradition of an arranged marriage wrapped in silver to audiences, critics say it completely misses the mark at highlighting problematic, regressive values in Indian culture; ranging from sexism, domestic violence, colourism, body shaming, etc.

By the looks of it, what seems to irk people the most about the show is its portrayal of the rishta hunt in traditional South Asian communities; a matchmaker comes over, ticks off her checklist for a potential match, then checks you off if you’re short, dark, a bit on the heavier side, or older than what’s perceived as ‘marriageable’ age.

The characters are unapologetic about their personalities - Aparna with her high ambitions, the showy Pradhyuman, or the zesty Nadia. While not particularly likeable, they seem to mirror the classic, contemporary bachelor of today. And Sima mami? The classic, Indian aunty with her want for ‘flexible’ and ‘compromising’ individuals for the checklists provided to her by the parents of said contemporary bachelors.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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The criticism from India and general South Asian publications comes as no surprise then. One scathing review from Livemint states, “Perpetuating stereotypes of colourism, casteism, and sexism about the country, the creators forget that Indian millennials and their families have come a long way after battling these societal norms for years.”

Perhaps, at the root of it, the criticism arises from the fact that the majority of Indian and Pakistani households still uphold these same values, and while millennials may be marching ahead to the beat of their own drums, many of them may be dealing with much the same ideals of matchmaking even today. What the show essentially does is show the mirror to the majority of Indian/Pakistani households, exposing values that they perpetuate among their circles, but cannot claim in the open.

Twitter commentary about the show itself is a study in itself, with many, naturally, calling out the problematic aspects of the show, but many also realising the fault at the root. “To young women watching Indian Matchmaking, you don’t have to be “adjusting” “flexible” or “compromise”. There are many wonderful, loving, supportive men/women in the world. Wait until you find the right one for you. This snake pit of patriarchy is not the whole truth,” says one user.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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At the same time, another questions, “28 minutes into Indian Matchmaking and I am mortified. Arranged marriages are embarrassing/shameful to watch in real life, what was the point behind taking it to the reel?”

The divided discourse about the show itself paints a clear picture of why and from where the criticism about it arises. Despite all that, if nothing else, the show seems to have aligned the stars for its starring cast and especially Sima aunty, who, by now, may essentially be working on securing a season two deal with Netflix as we write.

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