A few ridiculous men

In the movie A Few Good Men, Private Santiago of the US Army, had been killed. Colonel Jessup had ordered his murder. There was a cover-up and the US Navy lawyer (Tom Cruise) tried hard to blow that cover. Cruise’s character traps Colonel Jessup inside the courtroom by a simple yet intelligent method. Cruise asks him about the conflict between the two arguments that if Colonel Jessup had ordered that Private Santiago wasn’t to be touched then why would his life be in danger and needed to be transferred off the base?

Watching this past week’s drama unfold drew vivid parallels with that movie. Imran Khan allowed Nawaz Sharif to leave. Then he went on stage and mocked Nawaz by hinting Nawaz might have cheated the system. He said, “After seeing Nawaz board the air ambulance, I wondered if he got healthy with the first glance of the London-bound airplane.” That’s right. Nawaz looking ill was needed for public consumption. Nawaz did not behave like an ill man. But we can always count on Khan to act like one. He beat Nawaz there too.

Khan cast doubt about Nawaz’s illness at his own peril. He is only tarnishing the credibility of his own administration. If I could be Tom Cruise in that courtroom and cross-examine Khan, my first question would be: if you believed that Nawaz wasn’t sick, then why would it be necessary to let him go? If you gave the order that he be let go, then why would you try to scapegoat the judiciary for it? If you yourself single-handedly cleared the path for Nawaz’s exit, eroding public trust by continuing with the tradition of different standards for the rich and the poor, then why ask the judiciary to “restore” that public trust in the system?

It was the Punjab government official medical board that recommended Nawaz should be allowed to travel abroad for better healthcare. Lo and behold, the Interior Minister, Brigadier (retired) Ijaz Ahmad Shah said, “Definitely, there was a disparity between the [medical] reports and the behaviour [of Nawaz].” Rumour has it that one federal cabinet member was able to persuade Khan to allow Nawaz to leave, despite strong opposition from Faisal Vawda and Fawad Chaudhry. I wonder who that was? Such a member would have been called names by Khan in a previous incarnation. By the process of elimination, let me rule out one ridiculous who said the nation’s poor could trick the tomato price by influencing its supply and demand if they consumed yogurt instead.

Khan and Nawaz — whether they realise it or not or we like it or not — are actually allies of convenience here. And I don’t mean to support any conspiracy theory. I mean that Nawaz being genuinely sick strengthens the credibility of both, more of Khan. While Nawaz is staying quiet and showing some signs of sanity, perhaps Khan needs medical assistance, specifically a psychiatrist.

Khan, in a remarkable ability to compartmentalise words and actions, asked the CJ to “restore” public trust in the judiciary. Khosa, otherwise quiet, replied that Khan should not “taunt the judiciary”. Public trust restoration is something the PTI should be concerned with. The IHC in withdrawing a show-cause notice issued to Firdous Aashiq Awan said some similar thought-provoking words. The order given by IHC CJ Athar Minallah referring to Awan and Khan read, “… they cannot be extended the benefit of [the] doubt for not being aware of the facts and the consequences of their statements which tended to prejudice the determination of matters pending before this court.” In other words, watch your language. To clarify further, if ridiculousness was a crime, you’d all be in jail. Moreover, not knowing about one’s stupidity is no excuse, especially when in a position of power and trust.

Published in The Express Tribune, November 28^th, 2019.

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