Eman Suleman announces upcoming wedding with her signature sarcasm

Published: November 25, 2019
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Eman Suleman is among the most witty celebrities on social media and that has led to her enormous fan following, aside from the admiration she receives for her looks. From her tours, to her work, everything on her feed needs to have that touch of laughter in order to make it less boring, with respect to which, Suleman announced, what could have been the most boring announcement of her life, in the most humorous manner possible: “So yes, Jamil and I are getting married. Looking forward to our time together. Until death or divorce do us part.”

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2 ganjus. I wanted to wait till after shaadi to make the announcement of our shaadi but since the news isn’t already out there and I‘m coveting some public attention, because that’s just the kind of person I am, I want you to know that I am marrying my non platonic friend of 3 months (full GF BF nonsense). Allah reham karay hum dono per. Some people get married for themselves, because either they fall in love or because they’re lonely or maybe because of family pressure or to procreate, I’m getting married because I just want to make haraam halaal to please my rabb and my parents!! It’s the truth; our parents were like, tameez se shaadi karo tum dono, this isn’t amreeka. nejakwkamlqhduwjajsnqjjAbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz and since moving in together isn’t an option in the Islamic republic of Pakistan, I gotta do what I gotta do, Shaadi. God I really thought my shaadi announcement would be better than a plagiarised essay. I really tried to refrain myself but I couldn’t. I never can. Dheiskskqlqlqlqlsnbdbdehei. Why am I like this??? Anyhow, so yah, Jamil and I are getting married. Looking forward to our time together. Until death or divorce do us part. Pray for us. Thank you. Is this a joke? Maybe. Great guy, 100/100 would recommend. 24 minutes later: Okay I’m a little ashamed of this.

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The model uploaded an adorable picture of herself with her ‘not-so-platonic-friend’, with a caption starting off with, “Two ganjus (Two bald individuals). I wanted to wait till after my shaadi (wedding) to make the announcement of our shaadi (wedding) but since the news isn’t already out there and I‘m coveting some public attention, because that’s just the kind of person I am.” Eman unapologetically addressed her true self.

“I want you to know that I am marrying my non platonic friend of 3 months (complete girlfriend boyfriend nonsense). Allah reham karay hum dono per (May God have mercy on us). Some people get married for themselves, because either they fall in love or because they’re lonely or maybe because of family pressure or to procreate, I’m getting married because I just want to make haraam (prohibited), halaal (permitted) to please my rabb (God) and my parents.” She indirectly hinted at someone who may have altered her otherwise ‘maligned’ intentions – and no, it’s not who you think it is.

“It’s the truth; our parents were like, tameez se shaadi karo tum dono, this isn’t amreeka (simply get married you guys, this is not America).” She added, clarifying any ‘misconceptions’ her caption may have caused.

This was followed by some immense rambling, to more clarifications about how she is only getting married because she needs to, otherwise, she would not have. “nejakwkamlqhduwjajsnqjjAbcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (Immense rambling) and since moving in together isn’t an option in the Islamic republic of Pakistan, I got to do what I got to do, shaadi (marriage). God I really thought my wedding announcement would be better than a plagiarised essay. I really tried to refrain myself but I couldn’t. I never can.”

Eman executed another series of immense rambling  “Dheiskskqlqlqlqlsnbdbdehei. Why am I like this? Anyhow, so yes, Jamil and I are getting married. Looking forward to our time together. Until death or divorce do us part. Pray for us. Thank you. Is this a joke? Maybe. Great guy, 100/100 would recommend. 24 minutes later: Okay I’m a little ashamed of this.” We are not Eman, we are not.

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