I am a burger – and proud of it

Published: June 13, 2010
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The writer is a musician and a self-employed businessman (omar.bilal@tribune.com.pk)

The writer is a musician and a self-employed businessman ([email protected])

Do you tell everyone you bought your jeans locally, even though you got a friend to bring them over from the US? Do you tell people how much you crave a big greasy bun kebab, when all you want is a jalapeno burger with cheesy fries? Do you find yourself speaking in English but adding yaar at the end of each sentence to gain credibility with the masses? Do you secretly pine for a mocha latte while you are being served your doodh patti?

Don’t be ashamed to admit yes to any of these sentences. For too long us burgers have suffered in silence. It is time we fought for our rights. We shall no longer be treated as second class citizens.

No longer shall we live in fear of being judged on our American accents, fake or authentic. We will no longer hide our knowledge of Noam Chomsky and Bertrand Russell. We will admit how much we love indie rock bands that no one has ever heard of. No longer shall we pretend to be entertained by Bollywood. When people ask for our address, we won’t hesitate when they ask us to spell “D-E-F-E-N-C-E”.

What happened to us? We had all the power. People looked up to us to decide what was cool and what wasn’t. We could be condescending. We were exclusive. We were awesome. But things changed somewhere between the rise of Geo and increased access to the internet. We were taken over by the masses. For too long we have suffered from their tyrannical rule. They dictate what we can and cannot like about culture. They oppressed us with their fascist rule and made it impossible to criticise “Amplifier”, 3 Idiots, Abida Parveen and chai. We enjoyed superiority over mailas and paindoos, but even they became ironically cool. We now remain the sole minority and suffer from persecution.

You can see the abuse everywhere. People pass snide remarks about our lack of knowledge of real Pakistani issues. They talk about shows on Geo and the latest Indian dramas just to keep us out of the conversation. We get hateful comments on our blogs and YouTube videos. Our drivers mutter abuse at us in a language we don’t understand. Shopkeepers see us and immediately raise their prices. We have to make trips to Sunday bazaar just to fulfil our quota of dealing with “the common man”.

Yet we are shunned and hated on internet forums and talk shows. They call us America-loving, Islam-hating, “Gossip Girl”-watching infidels.

The only way to end this persecution is to stand up and make your voice heard. Burgers! Be not ashamed! For silence is admitting your guilt. It’s time to stop hiding your subscription to The Express Tribune.

It’s time to be proud. It’s time to tell them all, “I am a burger”.

Published in the Express Tribune, June 13th, 2010.

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Reader Comments (162)

  • Imran
    Jun 13, 2010 - 12:39PM

    yes u r a desi-burger indeed………heheeeeeeeeRecommend

  • Snoopy
    Jun 13, 2010 - 12:51PM

    kyoonke burger bhi kabhi bun kabab tha. . . .Recommend

  • Jun 13, 2010 - 3:40PM

    really loved your take on this.Keep up the good workRecommend

  • amna
    Jun 13, 2010 - 3:45PM

    who’s Qamar Bilal?Recommend

  • Jun 13, 2010 - 3:51PM

    Hahahahaha! Good stuff. Sadly true too but hey, even burgers can give back to society.Recommend

  • rahim
    Jun 13, 2010 - 3:56PM

    what an utter and shameful waste of space! in this age of war and suffering when there is so much to write about, and especially for someone like you who has a platform available to them..not just as a blog writer but also as a musician..dont you think you have some responsibility to highlight what you can of the issues we face as a nation and try to make some positive contribution..after all art has long been accorded great respect for contributing to the betterment of the human race (from revolutions to the simpler stuff) Yet you continue to write about frivolous things, i admit its important to have a laugh every now and then but today when the country is on the brink of a class war with the soaring level of disparity you are doing no more than encouraging a certain section of society (like yourself) who are privileged and have the liberty to separate themselves from the issues of the common man to do just that instead of standing by their side…to continue living in your small insignificant bubbles while everything around seems to exist only to facilitate your own selfish and narcissistic existence..bravo! take a lesson from your colleagues like NFP who write brilliantly humorous stuff while highlighting key issues…for gods sake enough of this pointless egoistical….!Recommend

  • Yasir Khan
    Jun 13, 2010 - 4:39PM

    nice column I think he should mention little about the life-style of burgers. How they came to exist and at the advancement of media how they rapidly vanished.Recommend

  • Amna Kaleem
    Jun 13, 2010 - 4:42PM

    Is this a joke?
    Note to ET editors, it’s better to fill space with shampoo ads. Recommend

  • samia.k
    Jun 13, 2010 - 4:45PM

    oh thank god my beloved children are waking up. Be yourself and all will love you. Be proud of who u are. All humans are born equall, and enjoy life intelligently. I love all the young generation of pakistan because they are fantastic.Recommend

  • Qalandre
    Jun 13, 2010 - 5:40PM

    “buying jeans locally” what does that even mean? I buy jeans produced here, and trust me half the non-armani,boss,gucci,diesel,gant,br stuff is made here. Or in India or Bangladesh.

    The biggest problem with a jalapeno burger is that it costs too much here. In fact price is the only issue most of the times.

    There is a self righteousness on part of you ‘oppressed burgers’ and a lack of understanding on the side of bertrand russel-porcupine tree averse “desis”.

    Quality is all I personally care for, and this is just an ad hominem rant.

    Very badly done.Recommend

  • Wasif
    Jun 13, 2010 - 5:56PM

    Who are you man, who are you? And what was this…Recommend

  • Bemisal
    Jun 13, 2010 - 6:27PM

    I mean seriously?! As if enough divisions amongst us aren’t enough already. Recommend

  • sadia
    Jun 13, 2010 - 6:51PM

    Wow. Burgers who will no longer ‘.. no longer hide our knowledge of Noam Chomsky and Bertrand Russell’?

    That just made my day.Recommend

  • Ammad
    Jun 13, 2010 - 6:59PM

    First of all my appreciations,really cool stuff.
    Second thing don’t you think that its not working out,like we all know that we are adopting all the stuff in a way that we feel shame to tell others,but we do that again and again,and we try to adopt that again and again,as you are a media men you put a finger on this issue but as a musician have you ever made any video to change all that?????
    if you are working on this issue then work in a way that people really understand,i do appreciate your effort but the thing is that this effort is yet fruitless.
    Thanks.Recommend

  • Dee
    Jun 13, 2010 - 7:01PM

    I agree with everything Qalandre has said. I mean seriously…I buy locally produced products, carve for a burger instead of a bun kebab, hate chai be it doodh pati or tea-bag but I don’t wanna be called a burger. May be because I watch Gilmore Girls instead of Gossip Girls. Or may be because I don’t live in D-E-F-E-N-C-E. Or may be because I love Sunday bazaars! Or may be because of a simple reason that being a burger isn’t being KOOL its a shame, really. Because none of the above mentioned things classify one as a burger only one thing does that they are exorbitantly pretentious and terribly self centered.

    May be you actually are a burger OBA since you wrote such a piece! Recommend

  • DZ
    Jun 13, 2010 - 7:14PM

    I liked the article but I like the above comment by BemisalRecommend

  • Hamza
    Jun 13, 2010 - 7:36PM

    I seriously had respect for you as a great musician and how ADP has grown and matured with time, finally reaching Coke Studio.. But I must say this article has seriously degenerated your status as a casual citizen of our already much segregated society.
    I understand your article was more of a tongue-in-cheek humour attempt but sadly bro, it failed miserably. By speaking of class difference and inequality and the fake persona many people take in the name of ‘burgerism’, your actually highlighting the division amongst people rather than trying to find common ground..
    Tell you what, having those attributes that you relate to being burger doesnt make you any different than others. Its simply the diversity of taste which is ofcourse, absolutely harmless. What makes things complicated is when the diversity takes the form of discrimination, as you are promoting here.

    “Bemisal –
    57 minutes ago I mean seriously?! As if enough divisions amongst us aren’t enough already.”

    This guy has hit the bullseye.Recommend

  • Anonymous
    Jun 13, 2010 - 7:38PM

    How utterly stupid was this article? It was actually the opposite of what people feel. They will tell they got their jeans from the US when they actually got it from a local shop.Recommend

  • Laeeq Rind
    Jun 13, 2010 - 7:40PM

    All true. Now we are looked down as if we are lowest of low grade.
    This Article described my feeling in very condensed words.
    Great work.Recommend

  • Umar Tosheeb
    Jun 13, 2010 - 8:26PM

    It was really funny to read it. The real problem could be that being burger is not that exclusive anymore, there are many wanna be burgers now. The author might be fretting over that than the actual status of burgers. These days anyone can be burger if they choose to. Recommend

  • Ali Hasan
    Jun 13, 2010 - 8:46PM

    HOW DARE YOU OMAR BILAL!! ARE YOU AN AGENT OF BLACKWATER!?? YOU ARE SPREADING DIVISIONS AMONGST A SOCIETY THAT WILL RESIST YOUR VILE EFFORTS!! IMPORTED JEANS INDEED!!

    Um. Joking. Great stuff!Recommend

  • Ferya Ilyas
    Jun 13, 2010 - 8:55PM

    Funny but ajeeb…:s
    just hate the line which says “It’s time to stop hiding your subscription to The Express Tribune.” whats that about.!Recommend

  • lhar
    Jun 13, 2010 - 9:44PM

    Its all about money, ownership of the factors of production and the oppression of the proletariat. Be and say all you want. At the end of the day the richer gets richer and the poorer gets poorer. In the future there will only be a zainab market and a park towers. Conflict will never end.
    All hail money \m/Recommend

  • abid
    Jun 13, 2010 - 10:00PM

    HAHAHAHA whats with the negative comments: waste of space etc? You can look elsewhere on this website for news dude if you want to @rahim

    especially true about the prices being raised. what the hell? What is there on my face that makes them raise their prices?Recommend

  • Salma Ahmad
    Jun 13, 2010 - 10:01PM

    What a wastage of space!Recommend

  • Mustafa Bilgrami
    Jun 13, 2010 - 10:35PM

    I am very sorry to say that this article has been a total waste of my time; all 30 seconds I spent reading it. I don’t think this article has any basic idea in it, which is why I don’t like it at all. I don’t like the stereotyping that goes on: the burgers and the mailas (but I will use it nonetheless!) and I will try to give whatever little wisdom I have on the topic. I have lived in defence all my life – all 19 years of them. And I’m still not sure what a burger is. If its the inability to speak Urdu, then I fail badly on that count. If its eating out everyday – the subways and espressos and hot spots, then well I am as burger as they get. An area that I would like to shed light on is the difference in language when it comes to the ‘burgers’ and the ‘mailas’. I think that the language plays a massive role when it comes to the divide between the two. With all my heart, I believe that our language will always remain Urdu, no matter how much we talk in English. I have a fair bit of experience with languages (I speak five) and I dont think any language can replace our native one, even if we try. Proof of this is the fact that there are not many so called ‘burgers’ that speak purely in english; most of them speak a mixture of urdu and english. It is not just the thought that matters, but also the medium. Some things are better said in Urdu. Others in English. Others still in French. But individual preference also matters. If someone thinks that they are superior to someone else when it comes to preference in speaking a language, then they are mistaken. The irony of the whole issue is that its either India or the US thats taking over our language (readers will probably wince as I get into the good old identity lecture. I promise it won’t be long). The burgers that think that they are ‘the shyte’ (whatever that means) will probably be put to shame by native english speakers. Similarly, all is not well for the people that preach ‘aal is vell’ when it comes to speaking that slang with local indians. Its a different language altogether. You need a vocabulary of at least 500 movies to speak THAT! I think that instead of believing that one way of living is superior than another, we should choose what appeals to us and let others do the same, and then respect them for it. Who am I kidding…Recommend

  • Qalandre
    Jun 13, 2010 - 11:48PM

    You know everybody sees it in the movies or experiences it in real life, the rich kid who didn’t get out much, wasn’t really smart, got everywhere in life because of his parents money, brats basically. This is it. This is the epitome.

    Point in case, the writer may be smart; But lacks the ability to empathize with the depth of the causatives behind this particular cultural dynamic.

    @ Express tribune – disappointed. Thoroughly.Recommend

  • O.B.
    Jun 14, 2010 - 1:03AM

    Okay, Omer Bilal Akhtar, I used to think you were an alright guy. I can write better articles on burgers and bankababs than that. It soundeed like a very amateur piece by a 5th year old who’s trying too hard to be cool. :/Recommend

  • Saba
    Jun 14, 2010 - 2:21AM

    I’m sure this was well intended but seriously? I think it’s about time your ego got a bashing. I remember visiting Pakistan from Australia as a kid and how we would actually always make an effort to speak the language (even if the locals would laugh) and to respect the positive sides of the culture. I wouldn’t call this “suffering in silence”, it was our choice, I think the reason was to show a little respect and to get off our high horses.

    The issue was never being treated like 2nd class citizens (what an insult to the millions of underprivileged classes in Pakistan), it was that you wanted to be treated BETTER than the locals by virtue of your possession of a foreign passport.

    It was frustrating but mildly amusing seeing the Americans, okay scratch that, it wasn’t just the Americans, other Westerners, who would deliberately flaunt their non-Pakistani American/Brittish/Australian English accents; wear Western designer brands or slightly more revealing clothes than the locals because in America(the West) wearing less clothes means you are more liberated; and well just generally acting like pretentious morons.

    Mind you, Pakistanis are still far too whipped by all the negative aspects of American or Western popular culture but the one positive thing about this article is that it alludes to the fact that perhaps the tide is changing and they may finally be using their own brains to carve a personality for themselves.

    p.s I don’t deny that the very fact that I sit comfortably thousands of miles away and criticise the flaws Pakistan that I exhibit my own form of arrogance and pretension, but at least I want Pakistan to IMPROVE and not get worse :P

    Anyway I thought I would share my two cents worth :PRecommend

  • Hassan
    Jun 14, 2010 - 2:32AM

    EPIC failRecommend

  • Kamil
    Jun 14, 2010 - 2:33AM

    OBA I just dont like writing long names so bear with me. Wonderful article, I laughed like anything after reading this until I came to the Comments section SIGH and a Facepalm at that too. I have come to realize that we just politicize everything. To the haters esp Mustafa Bilgrami, rahim and hamza whoever you are my dears you have even yet to learn how to enjoy life and muse over light hearted articles like this, yes, you can quote NFP but then remember that he is a (say it with me) SATIRIST that is what he is, though he is nothing like Johnathan Swift in my book but i do enjoy reading him NFP that is. (I Just sounded like Yoda on that one). I digress, fact remains that there should be more articles like this just to get people to smile in this otherwise dull, depressing world. Yes someone said empathize with the common man, I think everyone does, but then not everyone wants to shout to the entire world “OH LOOK I’AM CHARITABLE AND I CARE FOR THE LESS PRIVILEGED” jeez if people started doing that I wonder hmmm. Anyways what was I ranting about again I seem to have lost track, OBA wonderful stuff keep it coming also to the tribune. Note: I know I shall be pounded by the “Haters” on my reply but alas I tried =) and I am happy for it and most of you should try being “happy” I can tell its a wonderful thing to have =P Recommend

  • Ain
    Jun 14, 2010 - 4:00AM

    Good to see that this article was published when the cover story of today’s magazine is in favor of the rights of “TRANSVESTITES”. All minorities should stand up for their rights.Wish u good luck!Recommend

  • Kamil
    Jun 14, 2010 - 4:15AM

    OBA I just dont like writing long names so bear with me. Wonderful article, I laughed like anything after reading this until I came to the Comments section SIGH and a Facepalm at that too. I have come to realize that we just politicize everything. To the “haters” whoever you are my dears you have even yet to learn how to enjoy life and muse over light hearted articles like this, yes, you can quote NFP but then remember that he is a (say it with me) SATIRIST that is what he is, though he is nothing like Johnathan Swift in my book but i do enjoy reading him NFP that is. (I Just sounded like Yoda on that one). I digress, fact remains that there should be more articles like this just to get people to smile in this otherwise dull, depressing world. Yes someone said empathize with the common man, I think everyone does, but then not everyone wants to shout to the entire world “OH LOOK I’AM CHARITABLE AND I CARE FOR THE LESS PRIVILEGED” jeez if people started doing that I wonder hmmm. Anyways what was I ranting about again I seem to have lost track, OBA wonderful stuff keep it coming also to the tribune. Note: I know I shall be pounded by the “Haters” on my reply but alas I tried =) and I am happy for it and most of you should try being “happy” I can tell its a wonderful thing to have =PRecommend

  • Ali Haider
    Jun 14, 2010 - 7:37AM

    Burgers! huh!Recommend

  • Waqqas Iftikhar
    Jun 14, 2010 - 10:09AM

    Epic fail OBA….epic fail…

    how about we replace the dross you wrote up there with bilgrami’s short piece about 2-3 comments above mine – seems to at least have a structure
    and touches upon the most important topic in this whole debate – medium of expression

    Extremely disappointing.Recommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 10:52AM

    Just one word that summarizes it all.

    Funny !Recommend

  • Syed Shiraz Anwar
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:05AM

    Totally hysterical work and does have a point. No one has the right to criticize how anyone stays and works. I am no burger but I am beginning to respect themRecommend

  • Shairani
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:22AM

    Am I really on a serious newspaper website or did it direct me to some random-teenager’s blog at some point?!Recommend

  • TL
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:27AM

    Well written piece Omar. I see few people here, being critical about it but thats a greater form of appreciation. It is always nice to read something other than war and terror. I assume thats the reason why you are given this right to write for tribune.Most importantly, what you wrote here is a fact. This is better than that ‘Bloody Nazimabadi’ post. That was terrible.Recommend

  • IUHS
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:55AM

    what were you thinking when you were writing this man Recommend

  • Burki
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:57AM

    Awful piece. All that’s missing is a series of comments by Sami Shah, defending the unfunny.Recommend

  • Monzta
    Jun 14, 2010 - 12:01PM

    I like the piece OBA, its funny :)

    Just a comment to what Hamza wrote, I think that you are right that the article touches about the class disparity that exists in our society, espeically in our urban centres. I would however to say that calling yourself a burger or bun kabab is really irrelevant to the debate of class disparity. If one thinks that having a bun kabab or doodh patti or buying your jeans at zainab market will make you closer to the regular Pakistani and perhaps make you feel less guilty abour your own status or bring you closer to understanding the life of a common man..good luck to you.

    And how does that work anyway…. I will only listen to Red Hot Chilli Peppers when someone in Layari listens to Red Hot Chilli Peppers… Is the question really to reject everything that you may see to be elite or bourgeious or to struggle towards a society where people dont have to associate types of music and types of clothes to different classes.

    The solution is to not stop listening to indie rock music, when its good or to not read chomsky or bertrand russell (although i have never really associated that with being burger)…. The solution is to understand why class disparity exists and understand how it manifests itself in our society..and to struggle and work towards removing it..

    Our country is in the pits,with massive poverty, weak institutions,chaotic governance and a severely apathetic middle class The debate between accepting or rejecting your elitism is really irrelevant to solving the country’s issues.

    And to Kamil, your rejection of the country’s problems based on your being happy logic is pathetic.Recommend

  • sara
    Jun 14, 2010 - 12:07PM

    The truth is there is a burger in everyone. In my mother who would be out of depth in the presence of her aunts who knew more about religion, tradition etc. In my father who cannot speak any desi language to save his life. All of us have a desi-burger combination that is pretty unsettling. I have made my peace though. I love British comedy, american sitcoms and now hold your breath – Indian tv sagas (not all of them – only those with an M&B angle).

    The point is each one of us has to make peace with our inner burger and inner desi and openly enjoy the paradoxes that arise. And this also means – dont judge other people as cool and uncool based on their love of music, art and culture. That is totally uncool. I just hope you dont nurse a superiority complex in the face of someone who does not know Bertrand russell. You have made a whole lot of value judgements in your article – I think a little bit of boring introspection is in order. Recommend

  • Monkey
    Jun 14, 2010 - 12:21PM

    Who said non-burgers don’t know enough about Bertrand Russell and don’t listen to unknown music – Urdu or English or some other language?

    What a trashy article. :sRecommend

  • Shugufta Solangi Chandio
    Jun 14, 2010 - 12:37PM

    Stop pretending to be someone youre not, I dont understand why you need to live for society and not live for yourself. I’d rather be hated for what i am, than be loved for what i am not. Grow up mate, times have changed, be the change you want to see in the world!Recommend

  • Faryal Tahir
    Jun 14, 2010 - 1:10PM

    I feel otherwise, burgers show off more than to be in desperate need of hiding. Recommend

  • Kamil
    Jun 14, 2010 - 1:21PM

    Montza I think you have comprehension issues I never claimed to forget the countries problems in fact the media makes us too aware of them from time to time. But then many others like you here decided to take a light-hearted article like this one and make it into convention for social debate . lets make one thing very clear debating on the internet in my opinion is useless, try a face to face debate then we might see results. You should consider reading a comment properly before posting. I repeat I never said to reject this country’s problems as numerous as they are. My point was simply that when an article like this comes along, it is better to read and enjoy rather than turning it into what we have here. this sort of argument is reserved for more serious articles that explicitly target issues and the author provides socio-political opinion. My dear you really have to understand where the author originates his idea and what is the exact purpose of an article.Recommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 1:30PM

    Burger or Bun Kebab, doesn’t really matter. As long as the burgers aren’t giving the typical snobbish look at the middle-class, don’t show off their money and the parties they have been to, and speak English uselessly, they should be acceptable in the society. Otherwise no one really cares about bunch of rich spoiled branded people who don’t know whats happening at the other side of bridge, the bigger side. Recommend

  • Waqqas Iftikhar
    Jun 14, 2010 - 1:54PM

    @monzta….how do you know there is n’t someone in lyari who listens to RHCP

    in the meanwhile keep truckin’ with the stereotypin’Recommend

  • the Violator
    Jun 14, 2010 - 2:24PM

    FAIL!!!Recommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 3:13PM

    Brilliant. Recommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 3:15PM

    Cervet Cahn: FIT !!

    Faryal: True Indeed !Recommend

  • Fatima Ali Khan
    Jun 14, 2010 - 3:33PM

    Omar Bilal Akhtar! pack ur bags and leave this country for good! What made u think of writing abt such a petty and useless topic! There’s no divide in our society on dis basis. So plzz dont even try to incorporate that into the readers’ mind just for the heck of writing. I think u need to hang out with people more to analyse this sorry statement of yours!
    and I mean I dont understand why Express Tribune wasted so much of space for this piece of crap!!Recommend

  • Fareed Ahmed
    Jun 14, 2010 - 3:41PM

    Be a Burger but don’t be a Taliban!Recommend

  • Shugufta Solangi Chandio
    Jun 14, 2010 - 3:56PM

    Theres a difference between burger and wannabe burgers, of which you are the latter . Get your facts right, I puke on those wannabes myself, but dont blame these so called genuine “burgers” for what they are, theyve got a huge list of fans backing them up like yourself.

    The whole food is just lame, bun kababs and mocha latte (its sad how to think like that, times have changed learn to speak for yourself, youre a grown man). The thing about urdu dramas, kids probably think that way but when you mature these things become immaterial. I’m suprised you didnt say, while watching kabhi saas bhi kabhi bahu thi you wish you could watch ‘Friends’ instead. Its not Indie rock music anymore, its more like electronic and coke studio.

    Its better if you keep hiding, time for you to come out of your bubble is not anytime soon. What a disgrace you are hahah

    It’s time to be proud. It’s time to tell them all, “I am a wannabe-burger”. (Be original, no ones applauding)Recommend

  • Shugufta Solangi Chandio
    Jun 14, 2010 - 4:19PM

    Very Circumcised Mate!!Recommend

  • Kamil
    Jun 14, 2010 - 4:28PM

    I think you people have issues that have gone unresolved…. aimed at most people commenting; a lot of aggression that needs to be steamed off. Therapy is a nice option :PRecommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 4:29PM

    We have left, farther behind, the milestone of ‘pause and ponder’. It is our national characteristic to cry over spilt milk. Why, what, how should have been raised when the change was taking place in the newly discovered (or created) democratic ambiance of social freedom in the 70’s.

    The process of our transformation into a nation of mindless and self-degrading imitators of the West and mimickers would be lamented by our future generations. But, unfortunately, we would have reached the point of no return in terms of freedom of choice, liking, taste and categories of human rights.

    Regardless of my agreement or disagreement to above comments, I love to see that my people possess thinking minds. That keeps my hopes kindled in the storm of fears, aspersions and deceptive thoughts about the future of this society.

    Omar Bilal successfully set a trap for pseudo-intellectuals :) and I’m no exception buddies!

    Whatever you call it, funny, trashy, hysterical(?), it was a good attempt to fill the space. Why don’t you friends try to write on these pages and let us write lengthy and in-depth comments on it.

    I stand with you Omar Bilal.Recommend

  • Farigh
    Jun 14, 2010 - 4:43PM

    Satire is difficult to digest, as can be seen by the comments.
    On a side note, this has also encouraged me to decalre what I am; I am not burger coz I bring my jeans from Pakistan when I visit it, and quite satisfied with quality for best price. Recommend

  • Pakistani Aloo
    Jun 14, 2010 - 5:11PM

    The irony is that a lot of people called this a “waste of space” and yet, it seemed to get the most comments :PRecommend

  • Pakistani Aloo
    Jun 14, 2010 - 5:21PM

    @ chandio. God only knows what you just tried to communicate.Recommend

  • Jun 14, 2010 - 5:31PM

    OMER do you want to tell us that only BURGERS have the knowledge of CHOMSKY and RUSSEL? Recommend

  • Sidra
    Jun 14, 2010 - 5:47PM

    Bad, bad, bad.Recommend

  • sadsid
    Jun 14, 2010 - 6:05PM

    well look on the bright side , atleast he got 60plus comments. not so bad an article really. Recommend

  • Comment
    Jun 14, 2010 - 7:25PM

    Yes children, this is a newspaper. Recommend

  • I can't believe I'm commenting.
    Jun 14, 2010 - 7:45PM

    The piece itself was hilarious, the comments were even better. Burger pride people! And just to make a point:

    Common uncomprehending responses to satire include revulsion (accusations of poor taste, or that “it’s just not funny” for instance), to the idea that the satirist actually does support the ideas, policies, or people he is attacking- Wikipedia.Recommend

  • Maryam Q
    Jun 14, 2010 - 8:11PM

    This was hilarious! ‘Gossip Girl watching infidels’! lol. Recommend

  • Sajjad Bangash
    Jun 14, 2010 - 8:12PM

    I think Omar Bilal has waste his time on a topic that has no significance in a era which going on right now. But I must say he got some talent in expressing his feelings but it should be directed in right way that in courages the youth Recommend

  • Usman Ahmad
    Jun 14, 2010 - 8:14PM

    If burgers are not being heard, let it be. It’s because they are weak!Recommend

  • Aloo samosas with choley and sweet chutney
    Jun 14, 2010 - 8:21PM

    satire, it seems, is not a very popular art form amongst ET readersRecommend

  • Vulcan Fury
    Jun 14, 2010 - 9:06PM

    Being burger is only a state of mind, a perceived superiority. Nothing more. And yes, the article sucksRecommend

  • heartofsilence
    Jun 14, 2010 - 9:30PM

    sigh waste of time :/Recommend

  • Dee
    Jun 14, 2010 - 9:37PM

    O O Lurveeeeeeeeeeee Ms. Chandio’s comment and love the last comment by Fury! The article really sucked. And people saying that it still got the most comments, well people …As William Shakespeare writes in Hamlet “The world is becoming a bad place to live in, not because of bad people but due to silence of the good people” …I say “Pakistani media is becoming a rat hole not because of untrained and unprofessional journalists but due to the silence of audience/criticsRecommend

  • Syed A. Mateen
    Jun 14, 2010 - 10:10PM

    Burgers live in fools paradise and shy from the reality.Recommend

  • BurgAR woMan aka Shaggy S Chandio
    Jun 14, 2010 - 10:45PM

    Since you are such an expert on this issue, I would like to know according to you how much of a ‘burger’ am I? I feel i look more burger than you

    http://www.whoknew.us/images/burger_man.gifRecommend

  • S
    Jun 14, 2010 - 10:51PM

    The article lacks the wit and irony to qualify as satire – on this count it is mildly annoying. Alternatively, if it was meant to convey a serious point, even if in a tongue and cheek style, it is downright offensive. Either way, I am surprised to see this sneak past the editors. Recommend

  • zubair torwali
    Jun 14, 2010 - 11:14PM

    Are the burgers a new class in the social fabric of Pakistan? I think most people think that way. for an educated paindoo the burger is one who hails from some posh area and is a son of a very wealthy businessman. Owing to the lavish wealth his father spend on him he has gone stary and adrift and eventually has no love for classic music, poetry or dramas. A burger is considered an ‘idiot’ who loves kerb crawling and races with his new cars. He has no love for reading let alone Chomsky and Russell. If anybody from LUMS or its ilk is considered a burger I fear this will not make sense. Some witty people often remarks at burgers as the white chicks because of the very soft and weak complexion. Some call them ‘ameer maa baap ki bigri hui awlaad’. I think the writer has raised his voice against such perceptions. But we do not need further stratification as we have already many classes wealth wise, sex wise and religion wise. If the eunuchs can rise for their rights the ‘white chicks’ can do so as well.Recommend

  • Naeem Akhtar
    Jun 15, 2010 - 12:01AM

    the article was stupid enuf… but what made me to write this comment is how can people write so much in response to an article which doesn’t even makes sense nor has nything in it.

    The above three lines were for the comments only… the article only deserves -huh-Recommend

  • tanya myrza
    Jun 15, 2010 - 12:06AM

    the differenciation your trying to create is really making people like you not fit for this country,you are living in a bubble playing guitar in a studio or writing a blog sitting in your little box where you are unaware of the reality of 99.9999 percent
    You have to comprehend who we are as a nation what culture do we have , which you are unaware … You don’t know the reality of what you are, you must enter the real world.

    I am wondering what burgurs are? You have just disgraced your own kind ( if there’s any such kind ” burgurs” ).
    I mean what kind of a man are you or burgurs are when you can’t say you don’t want to have tea or ban kabaab…
    Your trying to diss a urdu tv channel … Where most people watch that cuz they understand it, your trying to publicize tribune fair enough , I like it that’s why I’m here.
    But your motive of writing this article is baseless and had a different purpose, compeletely.

    I keep seeing you around and trust me you need to be around people like reall people, its a shame and I’ll try to help you to get out of this bubble and take you to al waheed kebab house where the cat and you would eat together.

    Good luck. XxRecommend

  • Freedom'n'Justice
    Jun 15, 2010 - 1:07AM

    We will no longer hide our knowledge of Noam Chomsky and Bertrand Russell. We will admit how much we love indie rock bands that no one has ever heard of. No longer shall we pretend to be entertained by Bollywood. When people ask for our address, we won’t hesitate when they ask us to spell “D-E-F-E-N-C-E”.

    Your knowledge of Noam Chomsky and Bertrand Russell????, I will be surprised if 99% of the so called Burgers have even heard the names of these intellects in particular Bertrands. Please stop with this superiority complex already, you and your kind (so called) is no better then the rest of non burgers. This was the lamest attempt to make your self feel good about your self, so pleaseeeeeeee. Recommend

  • Danish
    Jun 15, 2010 - 6:20AM

    One should realize just because one is educated and capable of english speech, one is not worthy of space that could be utilized to raise awareness for oh i don’t know, maybe just one of the numerous intensive problems faced by this country.Recommend

  • Fariha
    Jun 15, 2010 - 9:25AM

    Quite a boring piece, sheer wastage of time on my part.!!Recommend

  • Ahmed Khan
    Jun 15, 2010 - 9:52AM

    Super start!! Seems like you’ve been through a lot man..don’t worry, things are going to be fine!Recommend

  • Imran Zahid
    Jun 15, 2010 - 10:43AM

    Very nice! I am very impressed by your writing skills and the way you approached! :)Recommend

  • Jun 15, 2010 - 10:57AM

    You must be the only burger in Pakistan who is proud of himself – lolRecommend

  • Anisa
    Jun 15, 2010 - 11:16AM

    Are you serious? how old are you?Recommend

  • Jun 15, 2010 - 11:55AM

    This is just about the lamest piece of writing I have ever read. OBA you really need to get your facts straight – the “burgers” happen to be not so oppressed as you put them. Moreover, the lack of criticism by “burgers” for Abida Parveen and Chai is because they’ve started liking them too.

    This article is an utter waste of space. And Express Tribune could really do better.Recommend

  • Tippu
    Jun 15, 2010 - 12:00PM

    What a load of bull. And written by a juvenile to boot!
    How can you be proud of being an insufferable, pretentious twit. And a bad one at that???Recommend

  • Bilal
    Jun 15, 2010 - 12:11PM

    hahaha! good stuff!Recommend

  • Ruhal Shaikh
    Jun 15, 2010 - 12:58PM

    @ umar tosheeb: I do respect his point that being a burger is no more exclusive thing… The only thing that took burgers off the scene was excessiveness and today no one likes to make them call “Burgers”. One should learn to live trendy life but the way burgers behave seems awful.

    Nice Work by Omar…
    You might have put your effort in something that could help our youth regarding concerned topic.
    ThanksRecommend

  • Imdad Soomro
    Jun 15, 2010 - 1:00PM

    We should set the trends rather than following westerners. We have our own culture and we should promote it so that other people adopt our culture. We can look cool in our culture as well. We need to be united and respect each sect and back our country. We all can lift this country.Recommend

  • Ruhal Shaikh
    Jun 15, 2010 - 1:12PM

    @umer tosheeb: I do respect his point, these days being a ‘Burger’ is not something admiring. You can find them in every street, in every home there is bunch of “Burgers” whereas talented ones are lacking.
    Due to the excessiveness shown by burgers they are being disliked. And same is the cause of their removal from the scenes.
    Or this might be another reason that every child when gets out of his home and become a burger slowly and gradually adopts every awful habit.

    Well!! Good effort, Omar Bilal you could have put your effort in something point proving or beneficial for our Pakistani youth.
    Thanks Recommend

  • Salman Malik
    Jun 15, 2010 - 1:21PM

    I dont know why people keep on complaining that this article is waste of space..what happened to our sense of humour?? or do we just need to read all that nasty stuff happening in Pakistan at the moment. I think there should be more of these articles..at least it makes u smile a little..keep up the good work mate…Recommend

  • Shaggy C. II
    Jun 15, 2010 - 1:59PM

    @ Ruhal, thank you for the outline before your actual comment.
    Well the problem with life is every burger wants to be a maila and every maila wants to be a burger.Recommend

  • Anum
    Jun 15, 2010 - 4:40PM

    Crappy.. very mediocre.. Recommend

  • Yusuf
    Jun 15, 2010 - 4:46PM

    Quite Fail indeed.

    The main issue here, is not whether you are a burger or a desi – rather why don’t you just do the things you like ? I goto sunday bazaar quite often while listening to Dio and wearing my Raybans. I’d LOVE to eat a Wendy’s tripple decker Beef with a Baked potato with sour cream and chives but sometimes I crave a greasy bun kabab, and trust me, no amount of Burger King or Wendys will EVER compare to a good ol’ roll from Red Apple.

    Why do you have to be one or the other. Being a burger has nothing todo with being Pro-American or Anti-Islamic. Your views on the topic are half baked and not thought out at all. Recommend

  • Hamza S
    Jun 15, 2010 - 4:58PM

    Weeks have barely passed after the Ahmedi massacre. it’s too soon for you to write anything like this.

    ‘It is time we fought for our rights. We shall no longer be treated as second class citizens..’

    Please be careful of what you write. Recommend

  • Bazz
    Jun 15, 2010 - 4:59PM

    This article made my day. Absolutely brilliant tongue-in-cheek piece. It seems some readers have taken offence to what they see as OBA highlighting class disparity in KHI, when infact I see him highlighting diversity in KHI’s young. Bless this diversity, as long as we don’t trample on each other’s rights. Its what makes our lives, our culture and our history so rich and interesting.Recommend

  • muhammad furqan
    Jun 15, 2010 - 5:23PM

    why does express tribune have so few facebook fans??? It is one newspaper that has the courage to speak up on issues which are not touched by other leading english newspapers,at least not so clearly and unequovically.so come on ppl,share the articles and spread the word.Recommend

  • Ahmad
    Jun 15, 2010 - 6:00PM

    I sense that your need to defend yourself can only mean one thing – you know deep down it’s not cool to be a burger anymore! (not that it was ever cool).Recommend

  • Bilal
    Jun 15, 2010 - 8:03PM

    Oops! Looks like OBA’s humor is hard to digest by the unfamiliar masses! That was funny:)Recommend

  • Asif Shar
    Jun 15, 2010 - 8:58PM

    Lolz…. what actually u wanna say? I mean better luck next time dude!Recommend

  • Ahsen
    Jun 15, 2010 - 10:30PM

    I am not yet able to understand the purpose of the column? Does he think the BURGERS so cool and others so Payndooo??? Com’n give me a break. Recommend

  • Jun 15, 2010 - 11:45PM

    What?? this must be a joke right cos if its a sattire its working, and if the idea was to get a lot of hits then that’s working too, but if this is serious thought-provoking material then lol this is serious waste of space and energy and quite SADRecommend

  • Zia Siddiqui
    Jun 15, 2010 - 11:58PM

    Trash
    Abida Parveen and 3 Idiots?
    Recommend

  • Hamza Ahmed
    Jun 16, 2010 - 1:06AM

    C’mon man think out of the box…its a waste writing..:SRecommend

  • Muzammil Syed
    Jun 16, 2010 - 2:08AM

    Utter disappointment for the readers. I seriously doubt the humorous aspect .The only thing that is appreciable in this world is “originality” my friend. Writer and his fellow burgers pretend to be the rocket scientists of Pakistan. However,they merely fill up jobs like moping and dish washing in western countries.Not worthy to be published in a leading news source. I think tribune has a long road to travel.

    Garbage !!!!Recommend

  • Zafar
    Jun 16, 2010 - 2:28AM

    this is precisely the reason why :pRecommend

  • Ovais Khan
    Jun 16, 2010 - 3:31AM

    Wooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooo :DRecommend

  • One in a 140 Million
    Jun 16, 2010 - 9:42AM

    As if our society already did not have enough stratification; here we have this guy mongering and trying to mobilize people on the basis of their material standing…….. disgusting and in fact, quite petty bourgeois Recommend

  • Fresh Thought
    Jun 16, 2010 - 11:59AM

    To be quite honest most people here are taking this article too seriously. It is quite clear that the attempted piece of writing was based on good humor more than anything else. The way its been attacked is really unnecessary which once again shows as a society how quick we are to make judgements, thats another thing that the writer shows in this article and 80% of the people commenting here have only proved him right. The topic maybe sensitive to some but it hasn’t been but the article has not been written to incite the response that it has received from most of the people. Keep up the work OBA, don’t worry about being judged.Recommend

  • Shaggy II
    Jun 16, 2010 - 3:16PM

    These so-called burgers like you have the following attributes:

    Have you ever spoken to a shopkeeper in english although he always replied in urdu?

    How about the fact that ‘burgers’ made football look cool, forcing individuals to learn names of players, look up scores to pretend they watch, make their team visible all over facebook, thinking people will find them very hip. And also what is up with the jerseys, more than half would not even recognize if the logo’s wrong.

    Lastly someone who calls himself a ‘burger’ and is proud of it, is definitely the biggest wannabe out there, baggy jeans and sneakers are not enough

    About those jalapeno burgers you talk about, you probably wrote it cause you cant even pronounce the word, JAALEpEno, anyways in terms of burgers there is nothing like a juicy beef cheese burger from Mr. Burger.

    Have you ever felt that most people are inclined to talk to you in english although they would generally speak in urdu? Those are the ‘burgers’ by default and definitely not proud of it, those who try to become one their whole life and then call themselves one are sad. Bless you ChildRecommend

  • Saif
    Jun 16, 2010 - 3:24PM

    I would say it was a real waste and utter nonsense.what is so special about having knowledge of chomsky and bertrand russel?Furthermore,many so called burgers comes from mailas and paindoos families with ill gotten wealth.May be you are one of them.Recommend

  • Rida
    Jun 16, 2010 - 4:03PM

    Sigh!

    People relax. The guy was joking. We don’t need to get our knickers in a twist every time somebody makes a joke. Recommend

  • Sophia
    Jun 16, 2010 - 4:53PM

    Haha. The only thing more amusing than this article is that people took it seriously. Recommend

  • Khurram
    Jun 16, 2010 - 5:02PM

    Burgers of the world, UNITE!
    You have nothing to lose but your iPhones and iPods and MacBook Pros and Cheese Fries and alloy rims, and designer shoes & handbags and….

    Oh never mind.Recommend

  • Usman
    Jun 16, 2010 - 5:03PM

    Just an advice grow up! This should be published in some teens magazine; utterly disgraceful and in vain; helps people to isolate from the culture and promote the confused teens; trust me all of us knows the abuses their drivers hurl and trust me this piece took the charm of tribune away from me at least! Recommend

  • Mariam
    Jun 16, 2010 - 7:48PM

    Lol….It cant be bad that bad! Plus people who are arent burgers are treated badly too by burgers. Recommend

  • Atiya
    Jun 16, 2010 - 8:03PM

    Geez people relax! It’s called being funny :DRecommend

  • Commenthater
    Jun 16, 2010 - 8:06PM

    My comment is only for those who apparently believe us “haters” are just naive or have missed the point, and indeed their comments brim with this sort of gotcha! enthusiasm, while others can’t contain their excitement about how they’ve trumped us uncultured simpletons in the realization that people who dislike the article are destroyed by the empirical fact that this is a highly viewed and commented on piece, and as Britney Spears will tell you, what is widely viewed and criticized must be perfect and lovely.

    Let me clarify; we get it, its “supposed” to be “satire”. Its all in “good humor”, and the author was just trying to make us laugh Ha. Ha. I can’t believe people have tried to engage academically with it, but at the same time its obvious telling the author to analyze more contentious or “serious” topics is unwarranted and a false choice. This piece is poorly done, not funny, and its improper stereotyping is best reserved for Us or Young World, this space is for grownups. When you’re writing here, you’re playing with the big boys, Sami Shah, Fasi Zaka, NFP. I concede they often employ political undertones, which this author clearly hasn’t nor should it be expected, the comparison I make is that those authors create great, entertaining opinion pieces whether you agree with them or not.Recommend

  • Asad Rehman
    Jun 16, 2010 - 8:45PM

    Is this a satire and a sarcastic piece? The comments above lead me to believe that the majority actually thinks that the author actually meant what he wrote… If that is the case, what amazes me is that he, Omar, actually takes the status of “burger” to be a real status of being, and is proud of it. Mr wise man, Omar, Burger is a simple joke on the lack of sense of identity, and just because you can use Naom Chomsky and Bertrand Russel in the same sentence does not give you one. Besides, your writing tells me that your knowledge of these two people is zilch, zada, zinng, and zipped- for that knowledge failed to give you any depth in your thinking.Recommend

  • salludada
    Jun 16, 2010 - 9:07PM

    This article has no brains. Just another “burger” on the display. Burger ee oye!! lolz..Recommend

  • Talha
    Jun 16, 2010 - 10:38PM

    Great piece of work. A good slap on the face on we “Aloo Goshts”.Recommend

  • Sumbul
    Jun 17, 2010 - 2:48AM

    very funny n well-written… and it makes perfect sense to me… the anti-burger campaign is WORSE in toronto… pakistani kids who are born in toronto speak better urdu than i do (someone who has lived as a ‘burger’ in karachi all her life)… i just feel embarassed by my incorrect pronunciations of qaleen and qeema :( … i miss the days when speaking incorrect urdu was cool… when it was ok to admit that GEO and urdu dramas r boring… when it was conisdered ‘cute’ to NOT know how to make roti and salan… when cleaning and cooking was done by servants… i miss defence karachi soooo much…. i miss being cool *sigh*Recommend

  • Jun 17, 2010 - 12:33PM

    has ET sworn to bring down the middle class or localites?

    Stop being discriminating. We are already enough divided. Its people like you who are ashamed of the land and soil you belong to. You are alient in your own country. Recommend

  • maheen rehman
    Jun 18, 2010 - 12:10AM

    haha cute articlee!! tho im not an avid fan of burgers myself butt its funnyy!! :DRecommend

  • Asif
    Jun 18, 2010 - 10:23AM

    Dear Omar Bilal…..Whilst I truly believe in respecting everyone’s individual views, I also believe that an effort must be made to highlight when someone writes in a public space as sadly as this. This to me sounds like a very deep rooted inferiority complex. I know your background Omar and I can categorically challenge you that if I go by your definitions, I am more burger than you, infact I am a big mac, quarter pounder or even a burger king :). Name a jean, name a so called brand of anything, name a fashion show, name a western philospher, name a western write and I challenge you that I know more about him than you do. What is so much about DEFENCE….I have lived in suburbs which makes defence look like a CHAPPAR. I have a more accent in english than you what you have always strived for. But all of this does not make me any superior or inferior. it does not make me a burrger or a chapati. It does not make me forget urdu or punjabi or sindhi or balochi. It does make me forget that my name is MOHAMMAD ASIF and I does nor require me to be knows as Mo, or ash….just to make myself look cool like a disoriented western musician or a fashion model. It still does no change my ideals. It does not make me forget that Quran is the best bookk of all times and Mohammad SAW is the most influential man of all times todya and forever. If you spend more time reading SEERAT-UN-NABI, you will not suffer this complex of burger or not burger, of latte or espresso or skinny latter or doodh patti or lassi or fruit yogurt. You will not complaint of these little things when you have been so priviliged. Unfortunately, so many of us (this column of yours is one of the examples) are influenced by the real bad element of the west, yet not the good work that so many people do in the west (which by the way is what Islam also preacehes to do much more than what the west does). Think about the salary you pay your driver, think about the slave you have at home who cook your food, clean your bathroom, gives 24 hours a day to your family, for a meagre 5,000Rs or may be 10 or may be 15. Please get a life and think about the ood you can do than complinat about these silly issues. Man read who you like, talk how you like whatever accent suits you. drink what you like, eat what you like. It does not matter, What matters the most is the good you do and the difference you make at all levels. When people listen to you and some of them (even stupidly) idolise you, use that power to change things for better than worry abou these non-sensical things of BURGER OR NO BURGER. I really hope you see the positives of my message as opposed to the negative comments I have made to stress the point. It will be good for you and all aorund you. All the best. thank you. AsifRecommend

  • usman
    Jun 18, 2010 - 10:49AM

    Public defecation!Recommend

  • Jun 18, 2010 - 12:27PM

    La homme relvote of the silent insignificant elite finally broke the ice. I totally agree with the writers understanding of the tribe, that due to a complex psychological and physical identity crisis, defines themselves as burgers. Dude get a life. The advent of burgurism is just a by-product of identity crisis. The nations that take pride in there own dress, music, culture, food and literature do not have this disease. It is this pathetic feeling of belonging that is called nationalism, seems this tribe lacks it.

    Ever saw a French taking pride in learning English or vice versa, ever heard an English preferring Johnny cash or Bruce Springsteen over U2 and cold play, Ever thought of an American countrymen drinking latte rather then a chilled bud light.

    Dude this is what we call identity crisis not burgers. Its not bad to like or read Albert camas, Russell, Chomsky or for that matter tariq Ali. But what happened to Manto, qurat ul ain haider and bulle shah. The translations of these giants are available in the native language of the tribe. English. Is it a matter of choice, or there is any restriction in burgers, not to read Pakistani literature. Pakistani music, while the pioneers of burgerisms is going crazy about.

    The elitist of the English listen to Abida perveen, read guardian and the articles written on her, Saeen Zahoor was the voice of BBC 2006, you aint no English or burger then royal Albert hall.

    I have always pondered on the petty existence and limitations of these tribes. In sociological terms, they are a close circuit society, with limitations in music, cultural likings and literature.

    Dude, we are already in a mess as a nation. Our culture, our values, our character, all is almost lost amidst the dust of westernization. My question is when you are so open that you can read rustle’s argument about faith, and I know that a certain level of courage is required to discuss faith. Does any one in this tribe ever have the courage to read ashfaq Ahmed or manto?

    You take pride in the fact that you are an ignorant burger, born in a third world country where people die rather more often then stray dogs. I take pride in the fact that I can sit and bash any westernized burger while having a tea on Dhabaa. Recommend

  • hussain
    Jun 19, 2010 - 2:57AM

    ridiculous comments here.ITS A JOKE, you take it as a joke, its satire. You people have english comprehension levels of a chipmunk, he isn’t abbusing anyone, he’s making a joke on the perspective from a Burger, its called comedy. If you like it HAHA, if you don’t you get lost. People here need to chill! GOD. Recommend

  • Jun 19, 2010 - 10:24AM

    this is the international herald tribune, an amateurish piece here … please get it published in some tiny popper seventeen kind of a magazine…. i wonder what is with the editorial board of the paper. you can always add a little humor, but are you trying to widen your target audience by publishing things that are for the teens. GOD the PARCHIs in the free press, by the way i totally agree with usman and asad Recommend

  • sidrah gufran
    Jun 19, 2010 - 11:09AM

    dude ur definition of a bun kebab is screwed up!!!Recommend

  • a
    Jun 19, 2010 - 11:09AM

    i think the burgers should leave pakistan if they can’t respect the people of this country who are certainly the majority. so go back to long island or that small gaoun in gloucester or wherever you came from.

    by the way, i don’t think reading russell is something only the burgers do. actually i doubt the burgers even read. maybe ET is trying to get them to start reading? lol . losers. russell’s gone and done with. move on. there’s ishiguro and pamuk and kundera and what not. the world is a big place but your vision is really small. sad. Recommend

  • zainab
    Jun 19, 2010 - 2:01PM

    OBA watched Gossip Girls?? LOL i thought that show was for chicks, burgers or otherwiseRecommend

  • Shayan
    Jun 19, 2010 - 10:35PM

    wow… u got paid to write that??! ^Recommend

  • dia
    Jun 19, 2010 - 11:44PM

    so lame…Recommend

  • Sharjeel Jawaid
    Jun 20, 2010 - 5:24PM

    We as a society have graduated into a state of apathy and hedonism, where daily incidences of terrorism, absence of law and order, rise in incidences of suicides, our destitute abandoning their children on Edhi home doors, gang rapes reported every other day and honor killings going on [revered as so holy, that our sovereign parliament cannot do a thing about it]; do not bother us.

    We seek pride in the fact that, The Islamic Republic of Pakistan has joined the list of democratic nations and our economic wizards and finance managers have given our masses such a degree of purchasing power that they do not have to worry about their bread and cake slices. They can book BMW SUV! [Just happen to see the ad in a local daily.]

    Long live the Burger Bubble!

    My sincere thanks to Raza Rabbani who had the guts to warn a few days back that we should be prepared for a bloody revolution!Recommend

  • Khawar
    Jun 20, 2010 - 5:43PM

    The fact is that all Bund Kebabs are Burger Wannabees. There is nothing bad in it other than the fact that they never admit it.

    Hur Burger Bund Kebab honay kee Khowahish kay sath paida hota hayRecommend

  • Sharjeel Jawaid
    Jun 20, 2010 - 5:44PM

    We as a society have graduated into a state of apathy and hedonism, where daily incidences of terrorism, absence of law and order, rise in incidences of suicides, our destitute abandoning their children on Edhi home doors, gang rapes reported every other day and honor killings going on [revered as so holy, that our sovereign parliament cannot do a thing about it]; do not bother us.

    We seek pride in the fact that, The Islamic Republic of Pakistan has joined the list of democratic nations and our economic wizards and finance managers have given our masses such a degree of purchasing power that they are now immune to inflation and can book BMW SUV!

    [Just happen to see the ad in a local daily.]

    Long live the Burger Bubble.

    Thanks to Raza Rabbani, who warned few days back that we should be prepared for a bloody revolution.

    Sincerely,Recommend

  • Khawar
    Jun 20, 2010 - 5:55PM

    ooooooooops – what I emant was that Hur Bund Kebab Burger honay kee Khowahish kay sath paida hota hayRecommend

  • bored
    Jun 20, 2010 - 9:57PM

    i’m just amazed that NO ONE seems to know that its BURGHERS as in, from the BURGH. not burgers. this bun kebab/burger thing is just a localised version of burgher. which is fine, but at least a newspapers editors should get it right, no?Recommend

  • Commenthater
    Jun 21, 2010 - 12:26AM

    bored
    2 hours ago
    i’m just amazed that NO ONE seems to know that its BURGHERS as in, from the BURGH. not burgers. this bun kebab/burger thing is just a localised version of burgher. which is fine, but at least a newspapers editors should get it right, no?

    Please someone slap me, this must be the sort of nightmare Edgar Allen Poe wrote of.Recommend

  • Invisible
    Jun 22, 2010 - 1:43PM

    Its good…….and i think mostly burgers never like this stuff……Recommend

  • nauman
    Jun 23, 2010 - 5:28PM

    Thanks God I did not read it beyond first paragraph. Recommend

  • Badar Rais
    Jun 24, 2010 - 12:51PM

    Omar, your artical took me back to the golden ages of my childhood when i used to study in becon hosue and was surronded by people matching your defination. Inferior and uncool, I used to think of myself. But Now I have risen to like you say and I quote “but even they became ironically cool” .

    A great article and I feel sorry for all the people who did not understand the coloum rather took out their non-intelctual thoughts on you. and took your atricale to a complete different realm or poverty and war and etc etc.

    Anyway keep writing mate, thorughly enjoyed your work. Recommend

  • Mr. Khan
    Jun 25, 2010 - 7:46PM

    nice!!!! nothing to be ashamed of being a burger, but dah! its Pakistan, live like a Pakistani….Recommend

  • Azka
    Jun 25, 2010 - 9:34PM

    Light-hearted and funny :). it was nice to read something different for a change. we all no whats happening otherwise in the world don’t we?Recommend

  • Romm
    Jun 28, 2010 - 4:00AM

    its pityRecommend

  • Jul 6, 2010 - 3:45PM

    What kind of world are you living in ??? the actual problem is that Burgers are rated and treated as first class citizen, no pun about that !! Recommend

  • A.z.
    Jul 9, 2010 - 7:10PM

    Lmao.
    well said.
    this actually cracked me up.
    and the funny part is people are actually getting serious over this. lmao lmao.
    i swear i want to facebook like this article a million times.Recommend

  • Tejani
    Jul 9, 2010 - 8:24PM

    God job OBA!
    damn those shop keepers, they do, they do in fact raise their prices as soon as I take off my sunglasses to check the shop out and they take a look at my attire- shorts with flip flops. And what is wrong with that? its massively HOT. I believe everyone in Karachi in this heat should wear whatever that keeps them cool! so what, I’m 22 years old and still love to wear shorts and a pair of colorful (spell colour) flip flops. it doesn’t mean I’m low class or poor, it doesn’t mean I’m immature and it certainly does not mean I’m gay! For all those people who stare and laugh every time they see us in our comfortable summer attire, the jokes on you all! You guys who sweat and suffer all day long in your jeans and button down shirt even though you know your not comfortable in them, just cause you believe they shorts should be only worn by children under 15 and well, flip flops should only be used in the bathroom.
    There are even some restaurants whose waiters wont give you proper service because one is wearing shorts! GET OVER YOURSELVES! Recommend

  • anon
    Jul 11, 2010 - 5:05PM

    evidently irony is lost on most people!Recommend

  • Daikha janaab, burgers are definitely considered ‘uncool’!! see the comments blowing you away!
    dude, the article was funny and the sheer number of people that don’t get your puns and ‘buying jeans locally’ just goes to prove your point :P
    Laikann dont you dare say anything to Amplifier, siddhee dhup paindee, on karo ac.

    but the ending was too patronizing for the express tribune. a burger, no doubt. :D :PRecommend

  • Immad
    Jul 19, 2010 - 12:27PM

    Good stuff oba, good take on the subject !Recommend

  • ZK
    Jul 22, 2010 - 2:48PM

    I watched you on No Reservations recently (thx to YouTube) you are pure definition of burger, yet it was great to listen to you. Because you and other people like you are bringing out better Pakistan to us abroad “Pakistanis” more like “amreekan burgers”…I will speak for myself, Major flaw of Pakistanis is we by nature don’t have the tolerance towards change (can be seen-below comments). Once change that, we will stop comparing our-selves to our “neighboring” countrIES!
    PS: burgers can be fake! which can be annoying! be yourself!Recommend

  • AA
    Jul 24, 2010 - 7:47PM

    Omar your blog has me entertained, maybe you should just stick to writing sans a salary? Less pressure? More genuine? Hmmmmm?

    Also shall look into what else you’ve coughed up for the Express Tribune before I reach a verdict on whether you can or cannt write.

    PEANUTS MATES ! Recommend

  • AA
    Jul 24, 2010 - 7:52PM

    And the verdict is in drum roll please

    Omar, you’re great at blogging, stick to that. This is not an attempt at hurling an insult at you, just an observation BigMac. Recommend

  • Sidra
    Aug 12, 2010 - 9:44PM

    why do you have to divide people into such strict categories? cant one be a burger as well as a maila/ paindu at times? the tone of this article was a bit arrogant and it seems like the author feels that he is superior to the masses just because he falls within the category of “burgers”. I am against putting people into these strict categories of Paindu and burger , but even if you have to do that why should the so called “burgers” or “burgerism” in general, be encouraged since it essentially stands for further westernization and shunning your own culture and beliefs?Recommend

  • Sarah
    Aug 13, 2010 - 7:34AM

    This was beyond stupid. Looked like you tried too hard, man! Better luck next time.

    P.S: That ‘D-E-F-E-N-C-E’ bit was DISTASTEFUL. Recommend

  • wahey
    Aug 20, 2010 - 6:16PM

    haha i love it. don’t listen to the bun kebab haters man. Recommend

  • Hassaan Islam
    Sep 8, 2010 - 11:34PM

    Poor burgers are those who drool and lust for white skinned beings and wear a mask of westernization. It’s funny that they eat and live on a different land yet pretend to be what they are not. Either they fall in deep complex during the span of their academic life abroad or they are infused with such ideas from too much television (west media). Some fools even fake their accents to sound more burgers yet end up sounding like gays.

    Its good to follow arts, literature and other intellectual media but for heaven’s sake do not stereotype and label yourself as the superior one. You may have got the opportunities to learn and become who you are but this does not mean you take advantage of it and think you are better off others who did not have the opportunity to go to better schools or could not get as much exposure as you could.

    Shame on yourself for the way you think of yourself and others!

    Alhamdulillah, I am proud of who I am and I’d rather spend time with “mailas” than with those “burgers” who got tags around them. People don’t let your possessions define you!

    What a waste of time reading your lame self proclaimed article. Who knows you got so much fixation that you really had to announce, “hey people I’m a burger!” :p Cheeee….Recommend

  • Sep 17, 2010 - 7:52PM

    Epic stuff. Loved the “made it impossible to criticise “Amplifier”, 3 Idiots, Abida Parveen and chai.” part because it’s totally true. :P Recommend

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