Of mice and men!

World may end up with a better mouse both on the technological as well as genetic planes


Khalid Saleem February 04, 2019
The writer is former ambassador of Pakistan and ex-assistant secretary general of OIC

Several years ago, Microsoft introduced a new computer ‘mouse’ that was reputed to have several new redeeming features. From the age-old quest for a ‘better mousetrap’ to that for a better ‘mouse’ is quite a technological leap.

This quest for a better mouse appears to be moving on two parallel planes. Apart from the computer chaps aforementioned, the genetic modifiers are also hard at work. So, it appears that the world may end up with a better mouse both on the technological as well as genetic planes.

The computer mouse represents a giant big leap on the psychological front as well. Western lore has presented the mouse as the biggest bugbear of the fair sex. We are constantly told of the most fearsome specimens of the feminine gender being reduced to frightened kittens by the mere presence of the lowly mouse.

That classical weapon – the rolling pin – wielded with such telling effect against erring spouses turns to naught at the appearance of the rodent in question.

Walt Disney, of course, was the creator of that most famous of all mice – Mickey Mouse. Disney cartoon strips and films have made Mickey and his consort Minnie household names in the developed world.

These were followed by such famous mouse creations as Jerry (of Tom and Jerry fame) and Mighty Mouse. The mouse was thus considered a fit subject for adulation. It may represent man’s subconscious desire to position himself in the camp of the underdog.

Or, perhaps, it may be seen as a sign of hidden admiration for a tiny creature that had wangled a not unfavourable equation vis-à-vis the female of the species that man had striven to achieve for ages without much success. Be that as it may, the mouse has been projected in the Western lore as being hero material.

Coming to the elusive equation between the mouse and members of the fair sex, each female secretary in the West now proudly sports a ‘mouse’ on her desk, thanks to the technological revolution. One still doubts, though, that this has had the effect of closing the credibility gap between members of the two species.

The Western mouse remains one up on the Western female were the two to meet unexpectedly on the floor of the living room. The human would still let out an almighty scream and jump onto the nearest chair, while the mouse in question would sit stunned looking askance at this rather odd behaviour.

While on the subject, one must under no circumstances fail to mention that the aforementioned equation is not always true in the East, where womenfolk, armed with lethal brooms, have been known to chivvy mice around the house without let or mercy.

Some Oriental females of the species have even outdone their male counterparts in this department but that, as they say, is another story.

This brings us to the obscure origin of the oft-posed question: are you a man or a mouse? One cannot help but wonder how this question originated in the first place.

The mouse has hardly shown any obvious weakness to invite such a derisive comparison with wimpy humans. Nor, for that matter, has the human species exhibited its prowess to an extent as to warrant dismissing the lowly rodent in this derisive fashion. The matter, in effect, has yet to be settled.

A cousin of the mouse – the lowly rat – has had a comparatively rough deal. Not for it the exalted place reserved for the mouse. The rat gets to compare with the dregs of humankind. It is no compliment for a person to be termed a rat. Those that are said to have ‘ratted’ are considered among the lowest of the low.

There was one rat of note, though, in English literature that did not do all that badly. He was the well-regarded friend of Toad of Toad Hall who got top billing in Wind in the Willows. Come to think of it, this one single character should be enough to wash off all the grime thrown at the hapless rodents by humans over the ages.

Published in The Express Tribune, February 4th, 2019.

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