Why Chester Bennington's life mattered to so many Pakistanis in the end

I woke up feeling empty, says Xulfi of Call

KARACHI: It’s been a tough couple of days for Linkin Park fans like me. Kids who were born and raised in Pakistan on whatever rock music was available despite the default Bollywood trash.

A very important part of my teenage is not there anymore and that's not cool at all.

Chester Bennington, the man who literally became the voice of all everything we felt, is no more. The band’s lead vocalist – and perhaps the most popular modern rockers – was reported to have committed suicide in his home in Los Angeles on Thursday, succumbing to a long battle with depression.

With the decades of an extensive musical career coming to end, it’s difficult to not get nostalgic and revisit all the classics Bennington gifted us as part of Linkin Park. In the End, Numb, Papercut, Breaking the Habit and New Divide are just a few of the anthems we head-banged to back in the early 2000s.

PHOTO:FILE

What makes Bennington’s death feel even worse is the fact that it was self-inflicted. Somehow, suicide is considered a stain on one’s legacy; a selfish move which dilutes your contributions and life. But actually, what is needed is for us to look at it from the insider’s perspective.

Deny it as we might, depression is very real. It’s as real as the pain we feel when we fall on a steel ramp. Imagine feeling that feeling on a loop for life and depression is what you get. It’s the uncontrollable, fast, negative thoughts that flood your mind and refuse to stop them.



Coincidentally or not, Bennington’s suicide comes just a little over a month after his close friend Chris Cornell’s [The latter took his own life in May this year]. It was public knowledge that Bennington suffered from depression for many years but what the world failed to realise was how his music was his way of dealing with it. He felt what he sang and if we observe the lyrics he penned, the pattern of rising frustration leads into a ‘calm before the storm’ feeling.

Ironically, Linkin Park’s latest album One More Light featured a track called Heavy that had vocals by Bennington and Kiiara. With verses like “I don’t like my mind right now, stacking up problems that are so unnecessary” and “I’m holding on, why is everything so heavy? Holding on, so much more than I can carry,” one can see the state of mind Bennington was in. Heavy was perhaps his final cry for help. Heavy was what he felt, carrying all the burden of his restless thoughts until he finally could no more.

Bennington’s untimely departure has affected fans around the world. Zulfiqar Jabbar Khan, aka Xulfi, the brains behind EP – Pakistan’s answer to Linkin Park – was unable to put his thoughts into words. “I cannot. I woke up feeling empty,” he told The Express Tribune.

PHOTO:FILE

While no one can deny the impact Bennington’s has had on music, it’s also unsurprising that a lot of fans had turned on the band in recent years. While Linkin Park matured and evolved and experimented with different sounds, the fans craved more of its trademark old style.

Yet, the singer and his crew retained a lot of their popularity. And while that’s equally important, it shouldn’t take away from the fact that the renowned artist that Bennington was, he made his fans less lonely, all the while being lonely himself.

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