9 things about raising girls’ moms wish they knew sooner

Important message for parents

Despondently, we emanate from a culture that discriminates between sons and daughters – as in – it is what it is. While boys are often sent abroad for higher education, girls are married off at an early age. But, what many parents don’t consider are the long-run consequences of the decisions they make.

Compiled from Reader’s Digest, parents in the West open up about how to raise daughters and help them get rid of their securities and become independent – stuff that our society needs to embrace so we can proudly say that yes, the future is female!



1. Keep lines of communication open

"No matter what your daughter may do or what happens to her, make sure she knows she can always talk to you for unconditional support and love," advises Amy, who has two teenage daughters. "I hate to think of all the kids who can't reach out to their parents because they were doing something they shouldn't." Make sure your daughter is not afraid to come to you for help—say, a ride home if she has been staying out late, or advice on dealing with a troubling social conflict.

2. If you're not embarrassed, she won't be either

"I learned to always speak candidly and factually about all body matters from a young age," says Heather, who has two daughters and a son. "Now my oldest is 14, and she's never afraid or embarrassed to talk about anything related to her body and growing up." This openness can help your daughter develop a healthy body image, and the self-confidence that goes along with it.



3. Encourage problem-solving

Especially during the middle school years, know that it's not your job to solve your daughter's problems, advises Jennie, a mom of five. "When she comes to you complaining about something, ask her if she just wants to vent or if she wants you to help problem-solve. 90% of the time, she just needs a safe place to vent." And at this age, learning to take care of things on her own teaches both independence and a sense of competence that is very valuable to girls.

4. Teach your daughters to volunteer

One of the best ways to do that? "Work right alongside them. You get to experience something together and let them give back to the community," says Paula P, who has two girls and two boys. "Service helps them grow into an incredible human being. Some of the best times I've had with my 14-year-old have been volunteering. Now, she does it on her own, and is so proud of what she accomplishes!"



5. Give them practical life skills

Set your daughter up for success with "how-to-adult" lessons. Mara, a mother of four, recommends skills such as how to change a tire, use tools, take out the trash, mow a lawn, grocery shop and cook. You can raise independent kids, and get help at home, by assigning them these household chores.

6. Math matters

Jennifer, a classroom assistant, notices that girls' effort in math can take a nose dive early in elementary school. Girls don't believe they are as good at boys at math. So challenge that belief in your daughter, and keep your expectations high!

7. Expose her to a diverse world

"Allow her to spend time with and experience people who have different political, religious, and world views than your own—particularly family members who love them," says Nicole, who has one daughter. "It is the best way to instill tolerance for other points of view as well as learn how to stand up respectfully for their own beliefs."



8. Take her places

“Travel! It's a big world out there and life should be filled with adventure," says Paula H "I hope I trained my girls to be intrepid." Travelling reinforces so many other lessons you want to teach your daughter, about tolerance, diversity, independence, time and money management, and even safety and self-protection.

9. Foster financial independence

Teach your girls how to manage money at an early age, Show them how to log their expenses on a simple spreadsheet so they can see where all their hard-earned money is going, and how to save up for things they want or need. "My daughter bought herself an iPhone and an iPad Mini. When kids pay for things, they take much better care of them, and that is also a valuable lesson,” says Jacqueline, who has one son and one daughter.

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