'PTI’s Karachi rally will be a game changer'

After this dharna, there will be no load shedding because the electric energy of DJ Butt will light our homes.

I know this is the 456^th time Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) has called the masses to the streets for a rally, but this time Imran Khan is serious. All those things he promised the nation four years ago will come true if this rally is successful. This is finally the rally that will make it all worthwhile.

Being a PTI supporter is like being an old lady sitting at the slots machine at a casino in Las Vegas – either it will end when you will win the jackpot, or you will die in wait. Either way, you are hoping for the misery to end but till that sweet relief comes you keep putting in more money in the machine because you think: I have already invested so much, what's another rally?

This rally is when all my investment will come to fruition. PTI’s ‘Huqooq-e-Karachi March’ on April 30 is different from all other rallies ever held by the party. It is about the same issues PTI has complained about for last several years but has done nothing about them in the province they are governing. It is by the same people who were recently part of other political parties and part of the same system they are protesting today. It is full of people who benefit economically from the status quo, but these are definitely the people I can get behind to bring in a ‘tsunami’ of change.

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Most Karachiites have not forgiven Nilofer for her dhoka and bewafayee for not visiting the city in 2014. The constant torment of daily life is such that most people in Karachi actively wish for a tsunami. Honestly, the water will be a welcome relief from the heat. Everyone cannot go to Sea View so it would be nice if Sea View comes to us for once.

But till that day, we have to make do with the faux tsunami of PTI. Their governance may not be the best and their promises may never be fulfilled but their rallies are the most fun. In a country with no public dance parties, our best opportunity to get together and dance is at a rally. I cannot dance to dila teer bija without being high and the PML-N soundtrack is so 1998, so a PTI rally is my best chance to bust a move and lose some calories in the process.

And Imran Khan knows that too. What is a lonely man living his life on the eastern bank of Rawal Lake do but plan his next party? Did I say party? I meant rally. If I was Imran Khan, even I would throw parties; oh, I mean rallies and feed my megalomania watching all the people celebrating. He has already married twice – his only chance of having another mehndi is a PTI rally.

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But of course, this time around the rally is not about finding Imran Khan his third wife. It is about truth and justice. Imran Khan wants to give the people of Karachi all basic amenities, including water, sanitation, electricity, public transit system and a working administration. PTI must have given all these things to every single resident in K-P which is why now they are expanding their amazing administration to Karachi.

All those people migrating from Karachi to Peshawar just to get basic amenities do not have to fall into the trap of urban migration. Imran Khan will bring all those things from K-P to Karachi this April.

No more need for water tankers in Defence, the tsunami will fill all the tunkines with water. No more load shedding, the electric energy of DJ Butt will light our homes. A subway has already been built under our city and PTI will simply open it to public on the 30^th as a surprise to the nation. Sanitation, however, will continue to be a problem because after all, our politicians are full of sh*t.

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This is not about politics – all the branding under the banner of PTI is simply incidental. This is about the people of Karachi – which is why they were not asked before announcing this rally. Who doesn’t like a part of the city paralysed for a political show for an entire day and the city security apparatus being used for it? This will definitely not put an already at-risk city at greater risk.

This is it. This is the day Karachi will change forever. Just like Karachi changed the last five times Imran Khan held a rally in Karachi. Just like Islamabad changed after the 100-day dharna. Just like K-P has now become the new Dubai.

We may not have water, bijlee and fundamental rights but we have a rally. For one day, we can dance and forget that when we go back home afterwards nothing will change. At least, it will fun singing ‘Go Nawaz Go’ with a few thousand people again.

This article is a work of satire.