Anti-war activist Gurmehar Kaur pens down a heart-felt blog

Activist notes war is very expensive, but there is no bill for it, "Maybe if there was some wouldn’t hate me so...

After weeks of silence, Gurmehar Kaur finally broke her silence in a heartfelt blog on April 9.

Kaur, the daughter of an Indian soldier who was killed during Kargil war between India and Pakistan in 1999, was heavily trolled by the Indians after posting a video on the social media where she blamed the concept of war for her father's death and not Pakistan.

“If there was no war between us, my father would still be here,” said Kaur in her video.

Advocating for peace between the two countries, the 20-year-old asked both the governments to "stop pretending and solve the problem".



Predictably, Kaur attracted immense hate for her message - from being trolled on social media by famous names like Virender Sehwag, to more serious threats of violence including rape. She was the centre of controversy for a while. But then she went silent.

Until this week.

Titled "Who am I?', the blog gives an insight of the how she was perceived and addresses it with the reality of her being.

"That girl you saw flashing all over your television screens, holding a placard in hand, eyebrows raised, gaze fixed at the tiny round lens of a cellphone camera, definitely looked like me. The intensity of her thoughts that reflected in the picture definitely had traces of me. She looked fiery, I relate to that but then the 'breaking news headlines’ told a different story. The headlines were not me," she writes.

Described by the Indian media as the "martyr's daughter", Kaur simplifies the perception with another strong statement: "My father is a martyr. I’m his daughter. But. I am not your “Martyr’s Daughter”".



Reminiscing about the father she lost at two-years of age, she writes, "I’m my father’s daughter. I’m my Papa’s Gulgul. I’m his doll. I’m a 2-year-old artist who did not understand words but understood stick figures, which he drew in letters addressed to me."

In the blog, shared on Twitter, Kaur defines herself and her stance: "I’m an idealist. An athlete. A peacenik. I’m not your angry, vindictive war-mongering bechari you hoped me to be. I don’t want war because I know its price; it’s very expensive. Trust me, I know better because I’ve paid it every day. Still do. There is no bill for it, maybe if there was, some wouldn’t hate me so much. Numbers make it more believable."

"My father’s a martyr but I don’t know him as that. I know him as the man who wore big cargo jackets with pockets full of sweets, whose stubble scratched my nose every time he kissed my forehead, teacher who taught me how to sip from a straw and introduced me to chewing gum. I know him as my father. I also know him as the shoulder my tiny self clung to extremely tightly hoping if I held him strongly enough he won’t go. He went. He just didn’t come back," she adds.