There's now a site specifically for people who want second wives

Published: May 31, 2016
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Azad Chaiwala founded secondwife.com to help connect Muslims seeking polygamist relationships PHOTO: SECONDWIFE.COM VIA THE STAR

Azad Chaiwala founded secondwife.com to help connect Muslims seeking polygamist relationships PHOTO: SECONDWIFE.COM VIA THE STAR

A British-Pakistani man is trying to take the idea of polygamy, which has roots in Muslim culture, and make it mainstream.

Entrepreneur Azad Chaiwala’s has set up two websites to help connect would-be polygamists with likely partners worldwide.

“This is not a dating site. It’s for people who are serious about marriage,” said Azad Chaiwala, the founder of SecondWife.com and Polygamy.com.

According to Chaiwala, about 3,600 Canadians as well as thousands of Britons, Americans, Australians and people from the Gulf countries are registered on the website. Since 2014, he says, the numbers of people coming to the sites have topped 30,000 and he believes the numbers will only increase, forcing governments to think about legalising polygamy.

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Although the original site founded in 2014 was exclusively for Muslims, Chaiwala later founded another one ‘open to everyone’ as more people from other religions began to show interest.

The websites aim to connect suitable partners by matching detailed personal information and preferences. Free membership rates one profile picture. For a monthly membership starting at $15, there is unlimited browsing, with an upgrade fee added to contact a prospective partner.

“The sites are public because they’re not an invitation to break the law, which in Western countries prohibits polygamy. Weddings would be performed by religious officials or in ceremonies among friends, without official registration. If the pair is in a committed relationship, there’s no need for a piece of paper,” he said.

How does one ensure that a member is seeking a committed relationship? Chaiwala’s team verifies that emails and IDs are valid and the images sent are vetted for “decency.” He adds that the site is not for mail-order brides and he insists that seekers and their prospective partners should live in the same area, and their location is checked to make sure it matches their stated country.

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Chaiwala, who himself grew up in a monogamous British Muslim household of Pakistani background, knew at the age of 21 that he wanted to be in a polygamous relationship. When he married in 2005, “I let my wife and her family know how I felt. They were apprehensive, but they accepted it.”

He came up with the idea for the website when he went looking for a second wife and says he made his first million by the time he was 21. However, even after 11 years of marriage and two children he is “still monogamous.”

So why do men look for multiple marriages? “Men can seek lots of relationships outside marriage — fast dating, strip clubs, visiting prostitutes,” says Chaiwala. “They have their desires fulfilled and they walk away without any accountability. With polygamy it’s honest, it’s responsible and there’s nothing to hide. Men share their love and resources with their wives and children and families stay together.”

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Why would women choose to live in a polygamous relationship?

According to Chaiwala, polygamy is “natural” for men. However, at least 50 per cent of his website users are female.

They are “educated, successful career women” who want marriage but may lack the time to devote to a partner, he shares.

New Statesman associate editor Jemima Khan provides a compelling reason why women sign up to the website: “If you’re divorced, widowed or over 30 and Muslim, finding a husband in (Britain) can be a challenge.”

An East London Muslim matchmaker told her he got up to 10 requests a week from women “comfortable with the notion of a part-time man. Career women don’t want a full-time husband. They don’t have time.”

This article originally appeared on The Star

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Reader Comments (31)

  • MJA
    May 31, 2016 - 7:39PM

    It’s a need of the time as many women from war torn countries need Husbands that can afford to provide for them. Moreover, there are many girls that remain unmarried due to inability to find suitable Husbands that can financially provide for them. Recommend

  • Fahim
    May 31, 2016 - 7:59PM

    Only point for a good Muslim is that Islam allows it. There is no reason that men shouldnot take care of second wife. I hope my wife won’t find my comment :pRecommend

  • Reeba
    May 31, 2016 - 8:41PM

    Will this site allow women to seek a second husband? After all men and women should have equal opportunities in the west.Recommend

  • Haji Atiya
    May 31, 2016 - 8:58PM

    @Fahim:
    Second wife ? And who’s gonna look after my 5 girlfriends ??Recommend

  • Mr Akhtar
    May 31, 2016 - 9:32PM

    Polygamy is one of those things that needs to be gotten rid of.
    It contributes of overpopulation and should be banned before there’s no more water left. Recommend

  • May 31, 2016 - 11:09PM

    giving mehr would ensure that man will not be able to leave………hence committed realationship………….Recommend

  • Bhatti
    May 31, 2016 - 11:12PM

    @Mr Akhtar

    I am trying to find sense in this comment… unfortunately, I have not been able to…! What is this??? “It contributes of overpopulation and should be banned before there’s no more water left.”Recommend

  • May 31, 2016 - 11:20PM

    @Mr Akhtar:
    Legally it wouldn’t be polygamy, it would be girlfriend with a different name………population growth wouldn’t be affected, if it is not affected by girlfriends.Recommend

  • Mrs.Fahim
    Jun 1, 2016 - 1:22AM

    @Fahim:
    Ohh maaaaan. You tooo Fahim????????Recommend

  • IBN E ASHFAQUE
    Jun 1, 2016 - 1:44AM

    @Reeba: Allah our creator does not allow women to take more than one husband. May Allah guide us all….Recommend

  • sana
    Jun 1, 2016 - 4:22AM

    NO, ploygamy does not make sense at this age and time. Recommend

  • Haji Atiya
    Jun 1, 2016 - 4:54AM

    @Bhatti:
    Mr Akhtar is a staunch believer of Malthusian economics, though the way he pleads his case is somewhat couched in Indian English…Recommend

  • Mian
    Jun 1, 2016 - 5:07AM

    Don’t these men have anything better to do in life?Recommend

  • Zaida
    Jun 1, 2016 - 6:13AM

    This is cultural degeneration on a broad scale.Recommend

  • Anon
    Jun 1, 2016 - 6:15AM

    I wouldn’t fly on the same plane as him.Recommend

  • Anon
    Jun 1, 2016 - 6:51AM

    I think the ideology has hit the “SELF-DESTRUCT” button. Recommend

  • truthbetold
    Jun 1, 2016 - 9:00AM

    @Reeba:

    “Will this site allow women to seek a second husband? After all men and women should have equal opportunities in the west.

    Why just the West? How about in Islamic countries? I am told Islam treats men and women equally and that it is the only religion that offers women total respect and rights.Recommend

  • observer
    Jun 1, 2016 - 9:02AM

    @Zaida:

    “This is cultural degeneration on a broad scale.”

    How so? By calling what is codified in Islam as “degeneration” you just committed blasphemy.Recommend

  • Chodi
    Jun 1, 2016 - 9:31AM

    One Chaiwala couldn’t manage a single wife, another Chaiwala is helping find a second and a third…Recommend

  • sadia
    Jun 1, 2016 - 9:44AM

    polygamy no doubt is allowed for Muslim men. but now a days women do not want to share their husbands with anyone else not even their SILs and MILs than how they can give their husbands away to some one who will be doing the same of everything with the person they are living with. In addiion polygamy today is of no use as the moment first wife gets to know of his husbands affair/second wife she immediately demands for divorce. and we again are left with another divorced girl. They are not ready to live like this. So most of the men have to leave the first for second. Not a good idea these days…Recommend

  • Prada
    Jun 1, 2016 - 9:49AM

    Dunno why but this man reminds me of Martin Shkreli. Recommend

  • Jun 1, 2016 - 10:31AM

    Whats wrong in that? He uis trying to be real entrepreneur by marketing what the population is interested in. Recommend

  • asad
    Jun 1, 2016 - 11:39AM

    @Reeba:
    Yes, ashley madison is what you should actually search for :P Recommend

  • Irfan_Sydney
    Jun 1, 2016 - 1:05PM

    If the explanation of polygamy is that there have been less men because of war so men can have more than one wife, then in Pakistan especially in Sindh there are 112 men for 100 women . With the above logic women should be allowed to marry more than one hubby.
    In English there is a Proverb “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”.Recommend

  • observer
    Jun 1, 2016 - 10:44PM

    @sadia:

    “polygamy no doubt is allowed for Muslim men. but now a days women do not want to share their husbands with anyone else”

    You seem to be confused. You seem to accept polygamy as it is allowed by Islam. On the other hand you say you are opposed to it. Islam doesn’t allow you to pick and choose what you want to accept and believe.

    Do you see the self contradiction here?Recommend

  • Maryam Hina
    Jun 2, 2016 - 4:13AM

    I’m shocked by his comment that marriage doesn’t need piece of paper! So what’s the prove for second wife that she is his wife too and what about her daily needs and expenses if she is not in papers then most likely she will be used like tissue paper and thrown because she has no evidence how will she come to countries where second marriage isn’t considered? Recommend

  • Omar
    Jun 2, 2016 - 4:16PM

    @Reeba are you a muslim? If you are then why not reserve your question for The One who allowed muslim men to take on more than one wife?Recommend

  • Jun 2, 2016 - 9:32PM

    Enslaving women is the culture of Islam. If you see the verdicts issued by CII, a woman is more than a slave.Recommend

  • vinsin
    Jun 3, 2016 - 3:26AM

    @sadia:
    I do not know a single Muslim woman who converted because she opposes polygamy.
    But I do met an Arab woman who left Islam because she was against slavery.Recommend

  • Milind
    Jun 6, 2016 - 12:52PM

    Chaiwala, enjoying Badshahi ‘mixture’Recommend

  • Noor
    Jun 13, 2016 - 1:15PM

    @Mr Akhtar:
    who r u to decide for people and IslamRecommend

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