NAB: mere pulp fiction?

NAB and the NRO when studied side-by-side, are a splitting image of pulp

P J Mir, a TV analyst made a very telling comment when he said that the acronym NAB (National Accountability Bureau) basically refers to the accountability of two prime ministers and one president — Nawaz Sharif, Benazir Bhutto and Asif Zardari. Seriously speaking, NAB has been tossed around by these three leaders who have alternatively used it for their own political vendettas against each other.

But today the tables have turned against the sitting prime minister. The net of accountability that has been giving anxiety attacks to Zardari and his coterie of corrupt PPP wallahs, is now closing in on bureaucrats who have allegedly indulged in corruption, having been placed in their lucrative jobs by the ruling dispensation. For the first time, NAB has turned into a Frankenstein monster biting the man holding the controls, i.e., Nawaz Sharif. NAB Chairman Major (retd) Qamar Zaman Chaudhry appears determined to confront the government. He has advised his officers to “adopt zero tolerance policy” against corruption and criminals across the board.

Hallelujah!

Rushing to Uncle Nawaz’s defence is the presumptive heir to the PM throne, Mian Hamza Sharif. He decided to lecture six-year-olds at a school on democracy. Wagging his finger, à la daddy Shahbaz Sharif, the young parliamentarian’s message was for the ‘Pindi boys’ when he repeated that democracy must not be derailed. Yes, corruption happens! So what? said Hamza, not once, but several times. He also cares a fig about breaking rules. Recently, his black limousine drove straight into the apron of Lahore airport where he had gone to receive his family who were returning from London. This privilege is only reserved for the prime minister of Pakistan and visiting heads of government. Perhaps Hamza Sharif thinks his time has come to become the next PM. He has crowned himself the de facto PM-in-waiting.

In more than one way, Pakistani politics and pulp fiction are twins. NAB and the NRO (National Reconciliation Ordinance), when studied side-by-side, are a splitting image of pulp. Mix the fleshy pips of NAB’s news stories of the last 16 years with the NRO, and you have perfect pulp fiction! When I read Jimmy Hoffa’s boast — “I have my faults, but being wrong ain’t one of them” — Pakistani politicians come to mind. Hoffa was an American labour union leader, powerful and controversial. Convicted for fraud, he spent years in jail. Most of our leaders today, yesterday (and tomorrow) are convicts, felons and jailbirds. Yet they are our masters today and will be forever. This time, however, the NAB chairman has developed muscles to investigate the shadowy past of men and women whose dark deeds have always blackened the newspapers and caused headlines to scream ‘blue murder.’

Stop press! Now when NAB and the FIA are investigating the present and former VVIPs, Information Minister Pervaiz Rashid turned barber swears to “clip their wings and nails.” Cases are being opened against the NAB chairman and FIA Sindh Director Shahid Hayat in a bid to stop them in their tracks against PML-N and PPP leaders. Yes, Zardari and Nawaz have been to jail before; but have always been let off scot-free.

Either our judiciary has no legs to stand on, or the whole system is putrid!

 

Published in The Express Tribune, March 3^rd, 2016.

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