NaMo, the Santa

The recent Modi-Sharif rendezvous, hopefully over halwa poori cholay, generated significant optimism on both sides of the fence. Whether it means progress after 65 years of hostility is anyone’s guess. Those who were irked were irked because they got upstaged. Plain and simple. But was the meeting as impromptu and spontaneous as we were made to believe? I doubt it. My gut is that it was meticulously planned but the boys kept it under the sheets till the very end to avoid unnecessary cynicism, speculation, political opposition and alerting of terror elements.

The bottom line is that it was a diplomatic masterstroke and Sharif responded with equal savoir faire. Frankly, I don’t see Kashmir getting resolved in this lifetime, nor am I silly to believe that cross-border terrorism is going to come to an end. The outcome, if any, of this bonhomie will hinge on how Pakistan engages and that depends on its military, but for what it’s worth, one has to compliment Modi for playing a cool Santa and bringing Christmas cheer to Pakistan on a cold Lahori evening.



Tailpieces

1) So Jose Mourinho was sacked by Chelsea because of a rift with the players and sent on his way with a pay-off worth up to £10 million. Sadly (or maybe not), he fell prey to his own titanic ego. I bet his turkey tasted horrid this year!

2) Katie Price posted a disturbing picture of her daughter, Princess, slapped with more greasepaint than an oil tanker, including lashings of mascara, blusher and pink lip gloss. The poor eight-year-old, looking as scary as the mother, resembled anything but a princess. While I understand that kids are maturing faster than they used to back in the day, an eight-year-old should play with a doll instead of being made to look like one. Kids are kids for a short time and parental responsibility demands that their innocence be preserved for as long as it is possible to do so. Too much too soon doesn’t end well. Look at Miley Cyrus.

3) I was amused to read an interview by Sabeeka Imam, apparently a British-Pakistani supermodel. She says that tinsel town is harsh and exploitative for Muslim girls who “beg, plead and cry for roles in Bollywood films”. So is that what Sabeeka did before realising that she wasn’t good enough to bag a lead role? Sour grapes because she settled for a bit role in the Kangana Ranaut hit, Queen, playing a pole dancer wearing lingerie that left little to the imagination.



4) Cheryl Fernandez-Versini’s marriage to Jean-Bernard is on the brink of getting over in less than two years. English isn’t JB’s strong point when he says that he “put his life on the line” for his wife even when his father died and “is working like everybody else to put food on the table”. Clearly, he isn’t putting enough because Cheryl looks emaciated and famished.

5) As you read my concluding column for the year, I will be floating on the Dead Sea, wearing a mud-mask, reading a book and sipping Petra beer. While every other Mumbai-ite makes a dash for Goa, Bangkok or Dubai on NYE, I’ve ventured off to the tiny and exotic Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. The ruins of Petra, the Greco-Roman ruins at Jerash, the golden Wadi Rum desert, and the port of Aqaba (home to some amazing diving spots) have long been on my bucket list. With Syria as a neighbour, it shouldn’t take more than two grey cells to guess what will have happened to me if I don’t get home in the new year! On that note, Happy 2016.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 31^st, 2015.

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