Torn asunder: With memories still alive, parents break down at APS

Auditorium which became a mass graveyard resurrected for emotional one-year event

PESHAWAR: Sitting on chairs with the names of their fallen angels, parents of slain Army Public School students could not help but break down at the institute’s new auditorium.

Old wounds reopened and a hatred for the terrorists that brutally gunned down their children was rejuvenated.

“I saw the children rehearsing for the ceremony to mark December 16,” said APS teacher Altaf Hussain. When I saw Khaula’s picture, I could not hold back my emotions. The day was full of tears and mourning,”



The school wrote the names of the children on all the seats and the parents sat in their place. “When we came out [of the auditorium] there was another photo session. Every parent stood with a picture of their child, but that was more than we could bear. Everyone was crying out loud,” he said.

An APS student guided each nervous parent to the picture of their children. If ever a loaded moment, mothers and fathers felt wrecked.

“That guilt ripped through me again. On December 16, I left my six-year-old Khaula [in someone else’s care] to save other children and I failed. I failed to save my daughter and the children of others,” he said. The father said APS children tried to comfort the parents, but the wounds were too raw to face this much.” Altaf Hussain was injured and his daughter was killed in the attack. She was the only girl slain by the bloodthirsty terrorists during the massacre.

Ali Ahmad, whose son Uzair Ali was killed in the attack, said grief made an unwanted return on the one year anniversary. “I miss my Uzair so much,” he said. He added the army chief announced a plot for every APS victim which was a great gesture, but cannot bring their children back.

“I believe those terrorists behind the attack are still at large and they should be arrested and tried for their crimes,” he urged. Abdul Wahid Qadri, whose grandson was one of the 147 fatalities, said the family was proud to be the relatives of a martyr.

“They have given us honour by shedding their blood – we could never ever think of doing that,” he said. The grandfather was happy with the government’s decision to hang the terrorists. “I think we need more military courts to speed up the process and rid this land of the menace once and for all,” he added.

“Yes we are in a state of grief, but I keep telling myself those innocent children lost their lives for a better and more prosperous Pakistan,” he added.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 17^th,  2015.