KARACHI:
Watching an interview of Bollywood star Hema Malini on TV the other day set off a train of thoughts in my mind. According to her, even before she was born, her mother had decided that she would be a dancer and later on an actress. Although Malini was very diplomatic in her replies to personal questions posed by the interviewer, it wasn’t hard to figure out that her mother was quite a strong matriarchal figure, who from a very early age had controlled and manipulated Malini’s life. Like the majority of parents, she was probably living vicariously through her children and was pushing them to achieve all that she herself couldn’t. Sisters and tennis champions Serena and Venus Williams had a similar life story. Their father had decided that the two of them would be tennis players and started coaching them from a very young age. The 20-time Grand Slam Champion, Roger Federer, was handed a tennis racket at the young age of three.
Is it fair to map out children’s lives for them even before they understand their own likes and dislikes? Are we justified in robbing them of their childhood? As an educationist, I come across scores of parents who are constantly pushing their children to excel and as a result have already planned their children’s entire lives for them. For these parents, anything less than absolute perfection is simply out of the question. Making mistakes is considered to be nothing short of a crime. Therefore, such children grow up with the mindset that making mistakes is tantamount to a crime instead of viewing them as learning opportunities.
Is this really the kind of mindset we want to encourage amongst our students? Do we want them to mature into level-headed, strong and competent individuals with the ability to carve their own niche in life or forever be tied to their mothers’ umbilical cords? Independent decision-making should be inculcated from an early age and children should be taught to face the consequences of their actions. Children should be encouraged to experiment and learn from their own mistakes as long as they are not endangering their own or other people’s lives.
Gaitee Ara Siddiqi
Lahore
Published in The Express Tribune, April 27th, 2021.
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