There is power in numbers and we need that to make enough noise
KARACHI: This is in response to Aisha Sarwari’s article titled ‘Rishta aunty reinforces patriarchy’ published on July 23rd. The writer talks about the problem of the rishta aunty based on her understanding of the person in question rather than the very system that gives way to it.
Ms Sarwari spent her words on criticising the rishta aunty by saying, “probably, pushed to the sidelines of society all their youth that have retributive feelings towards the world which they then take out on young women who remind them of their lost youth.” But what the writer fails to acknowledge is that rishta aunty herself is the victim of the patriarchal society we live in. Yes, the idea of her existence is indeed problematic and should be called out but not on the basis of shaming her for the choices that were thrown at her by the patriarchal society she is part of, but rather on the basis of the system itself.
The concept of rishta aunty is flawed because it perpetuates the society’s obsession of marriage, especially that of a woman. The questions she asks, from kitni gori to kitni lambi, are all derived from what the patriarchal milieu asks of us. Let’s not forget that the realms of power are occupied by men and women like the rishta aunty are mere pawns in this flawed system. And when challenged, these men direct the questions to women from women: pitting women against women is patriarchies best defense, and, unfortunately, Ms Sarwari has fallen victim to it.
As women, we need one another’s support to fight the system that is working against us but by pointing fingers at the perpetrators than the victims. And for women who stand on the other side of the line, we need to work together to make them understand better, make them realise that from our development since birth to our socialisation, we have been conditioned to be part of the status quo than question it. There is power in numbers and we need that to make enough noise.
Rida Ansari
Published in The Express Tribune, July 26th, 2017.
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