Letter March 12, 2017
Clostridium Nawazicum proliferated widely after the virtual elimination of ‘Haemophilious Zardaricus

KARACHI: The latest virus to be discovered in Pakistan, ‘Bacillus Phateecharious’ appears to be a variant of the deadly ‘Streptococcus Imranicus’, which has been active since 2013. Some scientists say it lay dormant since the late 1990s before developing into a deadly microbe. Despite the efforts of scientists to destroy Streptococcus Imranicus, it is dangerous for those still suffering from the effects of ‘Clostridium Nawazicum’, the virus that now appears to be weakening after the development of ‘Panamanium’, a highly potent vaccine. However, doctors warn that Clostridium Nawazicum could develop immunity to the vaccine and will continue to wreak havoc in the country for another five years at least.

Doctors say that Bacillus Phateecharious is likely to last another week or so, but those who are still suffering from the after-effects of Streptococcus Imranicus are likely to have mild fever and loss of memory for some time. Therefore, people are advised to stay away from those places where Bacillus Phateecharious is rampant, especially the locality known as Banicus Gallacus, which also hosts the still deadly Streptococcus Imranicus.

For those who may not know, Clostridium Nawazicum proliferated widely after the virtual elimination of ‘Haemophilious Zardaricus’, the deadly microbe that was well known for causing its victims to go into a coma for months on end. This once-deadly virus is now confined to the southern parts of the country, where it continues its nefarious activities, as a result of which the Sindh government has been in a coma since 2013 and the cities of the province are huge garbage heaps, which the victims actually seem to like.

Scientists say that these highly infectious microbes are aided by about 300 minor microbes of the genus ‘Nationalus Assemblicus’ and 100 other variants known as Bacillus Senatorius. Most of these minor viruses help both Streptococcus Imranicus and Clostridium Nawazicum in their efforts to immobilise Pakistanis and make them poor. Of course, if the vaccine Panamanium does prove effective and Clostridium Nawazicum and its supporters are neutralised, there is no guarantee that Streptococcus Imranicus itself would not succumb to it. Let’s hope for the best.

Shakir Lakhani

Published in The Express Tribune, March 12th, 2017.

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