I, a student of class 10, can try to explain the aftermath of APS attack and how it affected me, a year ago
KARACHI: Today is indeed a black day in the history of our country. I, a student of class 10, am not going to try to pretend that I understand the pain the mothers and fathers of the 148 martyrs felt, for that is something so strikingly unendurable that it is beyond my imagination. I cannot say I understand the trauma of all the people directly affected by this event, but I can explain its aftermath and how it affected me, a year ago. Pakistan has witnessed plenty of tragedies since its inception — stories that have caused chills while being retold by my grandparents, stories that cross their minds at least once a day, but cannot always be said out loud. The pain of any tragic event, no matter what day, date or hour it took place, should never be compared.
When the news was turned on in my house on December 16 a year ago, agonising pain inflamed my chest as red flashes of breaking news, pictures and numbers flooded in front of my eyes. Everyone around me was in shock; people tried to carry on with their daily activities but for a while everything seemed pointless. The regular buzz of dance practices for weddings and get-togethers with friends died down as everyone tried to come to terms with the tragedy that had unfolded in front of their eyes. Trying to distract one another was even more pointless — as there was a sense of guilt in that. How could we think of something else when our faith in humanity was being ripped out of our chests and this tragedy forever being ingrained in our minds?
When I was younger, my parents always helped me check for monsters under the bed, but I had never seen real life monsters till I saw nine gunmen dressed in paramilitary uniforms plastered on the news that day. That was the day I felt the most unsafe, as I slept that night with the image of blood-stained, green-and-yellow striped neckties and white uniforms, and dreamt of even worse. It’s been a year. A year since 148 hearts simply quit beating, a year since 148 children left ready for school with smiles on their faces. The heart-wrenching events of December 16 will never be forgotten. Whether we like it or not, this day has become etched in the history of Pakistan and can never be erased. We, as a nation, must move forward from this tragedy. We must be kind to one another and help one another heal while observing a moment of silence today to grieve the loss we have suffered.
Ayesha Shamsi
Published in The Express Tribune, December 16th, 2015.
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