Help! I'm in love with a girl who has a fiance

I've been in love with my best friend for years but have never said it. She's getting married and I can't take it.

Miss Informed March 16, 2011
Dear Miss Informed,

I am in love with my best friend Shanze. We’ve known each other for five years and are so close that we can talk about everything.

I have never been able to tell her how I feel about her. She is smart, funny and can kick my butt at Fifa when we play Playstation. I’ve done some crazy things for her: she’s painted my nails and even put a mud masque on my face once.

I even love her flaws, like the fact that she hates cheese and fried food. I know she is the girl of my dreams. But there is a problem – she is taken. Her fiancé is a miserable, ungrateful, gym rat who still gets an allowance from Daddy to pay for fuel in his SUV.

They’ve been dating since the year after I met her, and although I’ve tried point out his flaws I think she just doesn’t have it in her to call it quits. She says she is happy and I want her to have everything she wants. Why can’t that be me?

Help me! Their wedding is next month and I need a plan of action.

Miserably in love,

Not just a friend

Dear Not just a friend,

You know how the old saying goes: two’s company, three’s a crowd! Why did you ever let this Romeo infiltrate your blissful existence as a couple in the first place?

If you hadn’t been in hibernation all this time, I could have charted out a successful sabotage mission – but I suppose that is now water under the bridge.

The only thing you can do now is what you haven’t done: grow a pair and tell her how you feel!

Sit across her and have an honest conversation. She might think you’re selfish for confessing your feelings a month before her wedding, but tell her that you were afraid of being rejected and didn’t want to lose her as a friend (you know the drill, just spew those typically lame lines).

If this doesn’t work out and she marries her buff boyfriend, don’t fret. You’ll get over it eventually!

Remember:

  1. No one has ever died of a broken heart and

  2. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger


You may miss her a lot but you can always use the following ways to fall out of love with her:

  • Think of the most annoying things she did. For example, think of her chewing with her mouth open, and imagine the food just rolling around there while you’re trying to have a conversation. It’s bound to gross you out – you’ll be repulsed in no time, mission accomplished!

  • Talk to her husband after a few months of their marriage and feel relieved when he tells you stories about Shanze’s snoring problem and his over bearing in laws. You’ll be thanking your lucky stars it wasn’t you!


If you are truly such great friends, whether Shanze ends up with you or not, she will always love you and that should be what matters most.

Do you have a problem that you can’t solve all by your lonesome? Miss Informed is here to help! E-mail her at [email protected]
WRITTEN BY:
Miss Informed A Karachi-based social guru who will help untangle all the complex questions life throws your way. Ask Miss Informed for advice on romance, work, family or even how to make the perfect pumpkin pie!
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

COMMENTS (42)

Ahmed | 10 years ago | Reply Buddy, she's your bestfriend man.. No one marrys their bestfriend man! You're bestfriends for a reason, plus youve been close for what 5 years? If you do want to marry her then you would have been dating since 2 years or something... If you want to be content for the rest of your life then marry your bestfriend, right now she's your bestfriend but then imagine when you get married to her you will have to live with her, sleep on the same bed and share the same frikkin bathroom :p And you know everything about her, you'll get sick of her in about 6 months. Hahaha, plus i think and as much as cliched as this sounds, youre in the brother zone now... Can't do anything about it mate. Remember, your wife can be your bestfriend, but your bestfriend cannot be your wife mate. And weigh the options and think, if she was going to get engaged to you then it would have happened ages ago, maybe she doesnt like your type. Think about it, if this goes wrong, youll lose your 5 year old bestfriend and that isnt good :)
Maleeha Khan | 10 years ago | Reply hahahahhahahha loved the Khula teezad useage...... :) well suggestions are really kool ... i am also in favour ... if u u really love her go n tell her directly !!! :)
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