Caught in crossfire? Women under siege in influencer culture

When it comes to women in public spaces, Pakistan and India blend together as two sides of the same coin

People of India and Pakistan spare no effort to set themselves apart from one another, avoiding any association like a plague. When a known Pakistani celebrity described them as ‘distant cousins’ not so long ago, keyboard warriors went great lengths to prove her otherwise.

Yet, their shared ideologies and societal dynamics tell a different story. No matter how hard we try to ostracize our common roots, when push comes to shove, women and minorities become the focal point - society’s worst instincts, fueled by misogyny and prejudice, bubble to the surface.

The rise of influencer culture in both countries in the last few years exposes our biases in sharp relief. Imagine a woman in male spaces, say the internet; it might as well be her nightmares ringing true at every corner.

Take the recent controversy involving 23-year-old Indian content creator Apoorva, better known as The Rebel Kid. During an episode of India’s Got Latent, Apoorva faced backlash for using obscene language while defending a friend.

Meanwhile, a male creator on the same show sparked outrage for making a highly inappropriate remark to another contestant. Yet, while his apology videos flooded social media and shifted the conversation toward his remorse, Apoorva’s past was dug up, with clips of her previous obscene comments dominating the discourse.

The contrast was glaring: his regret earned space for redemption, while her outspokenness became grounds for character assassination.

A similar pattern unfolded in the infamous feud between Pakistani YouTubers Ducky Bhai and Sham Idrees, one of the most heated conflicts in the South Asian influencer space -  marked by personal attacks, diss tracks, and social media drama. Despite the rivalry being primarily between the two male creators, their wives - Froggy (Seher Idrees) and Arooba Jatoi - became prime targets of online bullying and harassment.

The Canadian-based YouTuber recently came forward with the extent of Froggy’s brutal online harassment - hate campaigns littered with derogatory comments and personal attacks spurred simply by her association with him.

On the other side, Arooba Jatoi, Ducky Bhai’s wife, found herself under constant scrutiny despite staying relatively distant from the drama.

Their crime? Existing within proximity to the feud.

The disproportionate treatment of women in public spaces can only be explained by an unspoken rulebook - handwritten by society and deeply ingrained in the minds of men - for women who dare to claim space, whether online or in the real world.

Thus, unless they succumb to the relentless projection of the audience’s biases in what content they create and the minds they influence, they must prepare to face condemnation from all corners of the digital world. They are torn apart for their opinions, choices, and, of course, their personal lives, which, how dare they declare personal, by the way?

In contrast, these non-existent rules are conveniently bent to accommodate the fallacies of men in the same digital spaces that crucify women for a single misstep. They are forgiven - or even celebrated - for pushing boundaries, for their ‘dark humour’ - a quality that must come naturally to only them.

This glaring double standard reflects the deep-rooted misogyny that permeates digital culture, shielding men from the consequences that women endure relentlessly.

It was ever-so-present during the backlash against Apoorva - who evidently steered clear from engaging with obscenity hurled by the contestant until provoked. At the worst of it, her crime was using the same crass language the man had used on her.

Yet, she was vilified for defending her friend, and soon, her past statements - often made in similarly light-hearted settings - were combed through for ammunition to discredit her entirely. Beyond the Indian digital spaces, the conversation made it to Pakistan’s, and it showed just how easily a woman can be reduced to a cautionary tale of what happens when a woman dares to meet men on their own terms.

The expectations that come with influencer culture are offensively gendered - a female influencer can only be as raw as her audience would like her to be; their content is judged against the standards of being morally upright.

Meanwhile, male influencers are encouraged to showcase their controversial sides under the guise of ‘authenticity’. Women’s mistakes become moral failings; men’s become quirks or branding. This breeds the good ‘ol narrative of ‘boys will be boys’, with backlash for them lasting for the very moment it gains momentum.

On the other side, womens' reputation takes an irrevocable plunge with disdain over their mere existence, lasting for the rest of their digital lives.

The societal flaw is apparent, and it is rooted in beliefs beyond the digital space. The subsets that define boundaries for women in real life are painfully limited, designed to hinder their growth by hijacking their potential in the name of ‘izzat’. Hence why men run at the chance to berate a woman associated with those they don't particularly like.

It reinforces the idea of women being softer targets, leaving them vulnerable to unwarranted scrutiny and personal attacks, regardless of their involvement. The accountability shifts from a man’s actions to the existence of women associated with them. The feud between Sham Idrees and Ducky Bhai dates back to nearly a decade ago - and oddly, the latter’s wife was not even in the picture at the time; however, both Froggy and Arooba continue to endure the worst form of harassment and character attacks simply for their associations.

A woman’s ‘mistake’ on the internet often leads to repercussions that extend beyond the digital world, impacting her real life as well.

Online, the backlash frequently takes a scandalous turn, with her privacy weaponised through the creation of deepfakes and the misuse of artificial intelligence to create harmful, fabricated content designed to humiliate and discredit her. In a world where they do not have to especially go out of their way to displease their audience and yet become the target of such ‘leaks,’ a fallible woman is no safer, if not more vulnerable.

Influencer culture is undeniably toxic - and the era of accountability is here to stay.

Yet, the question remains: how far are we willing to stretch the boundaries of hate speech and harassment under the guise of free expression and impunity?

A line must be drawn where we stop treating social media celebrities as our personal property - exalting them as paragons of relatability or dismantling their lives at will, all to satisfy our own whims. It is especially critical when it comes to the character assassination of female creators whose primary fault is that of existing.

The second they are not meeting our standards of virtue, the very digital space that once catered to them becomes detention centres for their missteps guising as crimes, where their flaws are magnified, their pasts are weaponised, and their humanity is erased in the court of public opinion.