10 best, worst and totally failed Halloween costumes

Last Halloween, my friend decided to go as a Urinal - not the best idea as many confused him with the actual thing

Salim Hosein October 30, 2011
Halloween can be absolutely amazing when everyone gets into the festive mood and makes the effort to dress up. From mouth watering candy to delicious pumpkin pie, the treats, no doubt, are delicious, and the tricks can get pretty imaginative for those so inclined. I for one, prefer to scare and horrify (trick) rather than be bribed by sweets (unless pumpkin pie’s on offer) but hey, that’s just me.

However, what really gets people psyched about Halloween is the dressing up. Over the years some costumes have become established as Halloween classics (like pirates, Superman, Spiderman, Darth Vader, etc.) while others have become more imaginative and often way more elaborate. Yet, as you’ll find below, often it’s not just the costume theme you choose that determines the good, bad or ugly, it comes down to execution.

The following is a list of costumes and costume ideas that I have come across over the years. While some are fantastic, many are awful. Trick or Treat?

Obama Costumes

Obama’s got one of those faces that just stand out in a crowd, especially when he’s displaying his pearly whites from ear to ear. As if the Obama mask with his trademark smile (and ears) wasn’t enough, don’t forget to check out the Zombie version which strangely bears resemblance to Bill Crosby. It's called the Zombama and it is pretty intense. Oh, and lets not forget the T-shirt versions for all the lazy people out there. 

Marvel superheroes gone wrong

When someone says “Batman”, “Superman”, “Wonder Woman” and the like, fantastic images of awesomeness, cool gadgets and epic costumes come to mind at once.

Until, of course, you've seen the one odd immensely overweight person wearing a spandex Superman or Batman suit. The wonder swiftly turns in to horror and at that point all you can think of saying is:
"No no, please God no, don't ruin Wonder Woman for me."

Alas, it is too late. Once you have seen a hefty bum bulging out of a Wonder Woman costume, it's all over.

Sesame Street

For those of us that grew up with Sesame Street in our lives, it’s just weird to see a life size, angrier-than-usual looking Bert.

The politically incorrect, terrorism-related costumes

Now, we’re a pretty resilient people given the fact that our country has literally been running dhakka-start (push) uphill (or hurtling down into an abyss – whichever you prefer) for the better part of 60 years. However, suicide bombers and Osama bin Laden  costumes just ain’t right. Not cool.

Parents scarring their kids for life

Parents are often known, especially this side of the world, for dressing their kids up in what they consider to be “such a cute outfit.” Everything from dressing children up in identical fluorescent colours well into their teens to hideous hair cuts is a social norm in Pakistan and this is just on any ordinary day.

But come Halloween and some parents just let the creative juices spill all over the place. Maybe its their only chance for payback-in-advance for the upcoming teenage, rebellious years. In any case, baby Halloween costumes are a lot of fun. Did you see the lobster-in-a-bucket costume? Amazing!

Star Wars

This legendary series of galactic proportions needs no introduction. From menacing Lord Vader to the quirky robots C3PO and R2D2 and of course the gorgeous Princess Leia, characters from Star Wars have long been favourites as far as sharp Halloween dressers go. However, people don’t always get them right...they can go really really wrong.

I once saw a young man with a hefty amount of chest hair dressed as Princess Leia, the gold bikini and all. Suffice to say it was truly revolting.

The Simpsons

I think the Simpsons are amazing, and clearly so does most of the TV-viewing world, considering they’ve been around for over 20 years (yes, if you disagree, your opinion is irrelevant).

Yet somehow, when a family tries to go as Marge, Homer, Bart and Lisa, it just doesn't work. It s scary, yes, they have that down, but the more-than-jaundiced yellow doesn’t work so well on real people.

The Booth

There have been a lot of great costumes centered around the theme of a booth. One such costume was the genius idea of a 'Kissing Booth' costume which featured a man in a cardboard box with one side cut-out to resemble a booth. The top of course read "Kisses for free." Talk about being creative!

However, you haven't seen creative till you hear this. Last Halloween, my friend decided to go as a Urinal. In retrospect, it wasn't the best idea, as parties can be dark, and this particular costume in question could confuse a lot of people who urgently need to use the bathroom. Absurdity at its best, I tell you.

The 'I’m-too-lazy-to-actually-get-a-costume-but-I’ll-get-a-cool-T-shirt-instead' costume

These have actually come a long way and don’t have to be the simple, lame “This T-shirt is my Costume” T-shirts any more. In fact, if you wear a boring one after looking at the many creative and funny ones out there, I'm sorry, I will have to give you zero points.  

Graphically disturbing but otherwise awesome category

Extreme facial distortions, maiming wounds and bizarre, unique make-up go into this category. For the heck of it, guys dressed as French maids and scantily clad nurses also fall in this category for simply being disturbing.

So there you have it - that’s my top 10. Let’s hear yours now.
Salim Hosein A political commentator in a doctor's body.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.


Sachai | 12 years ago | Reply @Asif: Umm...you do realize that your Eid and Ramadan you celebrate is an imported festival too, right? Your ancestors were converted Hindus like nearly every person on the subcontinent...they lost their "originality" when they just adopted the religion of an invading group and began to imitate them. Maybe you should have told them to be "original for God's sake" and celebrate their Hindu heritage instead. It's so funny Pakistanis want to deny this...when even the symbols of "pakistani-ness", like Allama Iqbal and Jinnah had Hindu parents. So yes, I agree with you that valentine's day and all these commercial holidays are kind of lame but saying we are losing our originality doing so is dumb when we have already done that...by being Hindu blood yet having the religion of Arabs....both Indians and Arabs reject us, hence most Pakistanis try to deny their Hindu heritage despite it being glaringly obvious in their DNA and names (ex. Rajput, Arain, Khokhar, etc).
Asif | 12 years ago | Reply Shame on you all - what grounds you have to celebrate this, culturally, religiously and socially??? Do you guys have any slightest sense of where you are going with these imported festivals such as valentine day, halloween, dewali and others ... you want to lose your originality and nothing else. You want to imitate yourself to become like 'others' that you can never be. What you are and will be 'people without any sense of direction' like mosquitos who start moving in the wind direction. You idiots are called as 'westernised' in the west and cannot understand the irony that comes with it. Your blind following shows that how shallow and culturally weak you are. Be original for God's sake and celebrate what's yours.
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