Help! I can't get over my ex

My boyfriend dumped me six months ago but I just can't get over him. Please brainwash me!

Miss Informed April 14, 2011
Dear Miss Informed,

I am a 20-year-old girl and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get over my ex-boyfriend.

We dated for three months but he lived in another city for about 70 per cent of our relationship. Initially, things between us were delightful, as all new relationships are, but slowly he started to cut me off. Then, he dumped me.

It has been six months since this happened; I have mourned, grieved, been called a fool for falling for him so hard after just a few months and heard many bitter things from my friends. But I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t help but feel scared that I may never have him. He doesn’t miss me much and has not reconsidered his decision even once.

Please help me! Brainwash me – like what happens in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Regards,

Can’t get over my ex

Dear Can’t get over my ex,

How old did you say you are – 20? You sound like your life is over and you’re destined to a lonely spinster’s existence. If you are harbouring either of these thoughts, please believe me when I say that neither of them is true. You are young and will meet other guys.

Look around! Have you ever thought that by spending all this time overworking your tear glands, you may have missed out on the opportunity to meet someone else? Like you said, your ex is determined to stick to his decision no matter what. So being emotionally unavailable and pursuing a lost cause isn’t going to help you move on. It may just result in low self-esteem and a feeling of loneliness. Every experience makes you stronger, and you need to start looking at this relationship as just that – an experience, not the end of your life.

Open your eyes and look around you - or watch Jab We Met! It’s a great movie with an inspiring message: the man you are obsessively chasing after may not be the one for you, but there could well be a better (and cuter) one nearby.

As for the mourning and grieving, here are some tips:

  • Talk to your friends about it. This could be a good way to self-reflect and get advice from people who care about you. They might tell you that he was a jerk, or that maybe you made some mistakes that you can improve upon.

  • Get busy! If you have too much time on your hands, you won’t be able to help thinking about him and how his absence has left you lonely and despondent. Start a new TV show, bake cup cakes (you could sell them and make some extra cash) or take up a new hobby.

  • Go on vacation! If you can afford a getaway, go for it. There’s nothing like a change of landscape and room service.


Do you have a problem that you can’t solve all by your lonesome? Miss Informed is here to help! E-mail her at [email protected]
WRITTEN BY:
Miss Informed A Karachi-based social guru who will help untangle all the complex questions life throws your way. Ask Miss Informed for advice on romance, work, family or even how to make the perfect pumpkin pie!
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

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COMMENTS (44)

Noor-ul-ain Hanif | 9 years ago | Reply | Recommend life isn't end yet! there are many things coming in your way and most of them are surrounding you but you are not welcoming them. Its difficult to forget about past why dont you just call him and abuse as much as u can same as kareena did in jab we met you'll feel very fine. I think the feeling of not saying anything bad to the boy is disturbing you. He has dumped you yar! call him and take badla!!!!
Fayexa | 9 years ago | Reply | Recommend Get a life guys if someone has shared his/her problem with people then what is wrong with that..It could be possible that sharing her problem and by getting lots of different and good advices prove worthy for her and she will be fine and also would be able to get over from all the recent situation...any single comment or suggestion can be helpful for her so show her the way of living instead of making things worse for her life...!!! What is a life a series of follies...it comes everyday with something good or sometimes with bad but still we have to move on not only for ourself but also for those people who are already exist in our life....like our parents family and friends who truly love you and always remain at your side to help u love and to care about you..Its a fact we meet lots of people in our life everyday and one of them becomes the very special person of your life and after some times we realize that your relationship with that person ends like a dream and we do not admit the reality that our dream has been finished but still we should not forget everything has to end one day...nothing remains forever neither the relationships...so make up your mind that you have to live your life no matter what comes in your way..!
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