World Cup conspiracies: Bal Thackeray is an ISI agent

Cricket fans aren't known for their logic. Check out some outlandish theories about the Pakistan vs India match.

Tanzeel Ahmad March 26, 2011
Everyone is talking about arch-rivals Pakistan and India facing each other in a World Cup semi-final on Wednesday.

Here are a few golden statements that Pakistan cricket fans are making:

  1. Pakistan was given a place in the semi-final as a reward for releasing Raymond Davis.

  2. Reaching Mohali a week before the match is no good; the Pakistani players may get paid off.

  3. Indians are good at black magic - check out how their pundits throw amulets on the Mohali pitch.

  4. The Mohali pitch has been developed to assist the Indian players.

  5. Pakistanis will lose the match because they know the Indian crowd will beat the hell out of them if they win.

  6. The Indian spectators will disrupt the match if they see Pakistan winning the game.

  7. Pakistan will not lose the semi final; 180 million Pakistani Muslims, Bengalis and lots of Indian Muslims will be praying for Pakistan.

  8. RAW agents are conspiring to use Indian bookies to bring down the Pakistan team.

  9. Bal Thakeray won't do anything to the Pakistan team. He is afraid of Karachi’s ghundas.

  10. Pakistan will win the match because they don’t have sattay baaz (gamblers) on the squad.

  11. How can Pakistan win when there is no implementation of Islam in this country?

  12. Shoaib Akhtar will rip Kamran Akmal apart on the field if he drops any more catches when he is bowling.

  13. Bal Thakeray is actually an ISI double-agent. His job is to malign India’s reputation by threatening the Pakistan cricket team.

Note: This blog is satirical in nature.

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Tanzeel Ahmad A UAE based marketing professional who is interested in politics and cultural issues. He blogs at
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.