World Cup conspiracies: Bal Thackeray is an ISI agent
Everyone is talking about arch-rivals Pakistan and India facing each other in a World Cup semi-final on Wednesday.
Here are a few golden statements that Pakistan cricket fans are making:
- Pakistan was given a place in the semi-final as a reward for releasing Raymond Davis.
- Reaching Mohali a week before the match is no good; the Pakistani players may get paid off.
- Indians are good at black magic - check out how their pundits throw amulets on the Mohali pitch.
- The Mohali pitch has been developed to assist the Indian players.
- Pakistanis will lose the match because they know the Indian crowd will beat the hell out of them if they win.
- The Indian spectators will disrupt the match if they see Pakistan winning the game.
- Pakistan will not lose the semi final; 180 million Pakistani Muslims, Bengalis and lots of Indian Muslims will be praying for Pakistan.
- RAW agents are conspiring to use Indian bookies to bring down the Pakistan team.
- Bal Thakeray won't do anything to the Pakistan team. He is afraid of Karachi’s ghundas.
- Pakistan will win the match because they don’t have sattay baaz (gamblers) on the squad.
- How can Pakistan win when there is no implementation of Islam in this country?
- Shoaib Akhtar will rip Kamran Akmal apart on the field if he drops any more catches when he is bowling.
- Bal Thakeray is actually an ISI double-agent. His job is to malign India’s reputation by threatening the Pakistan cricket team.
Note: This blog is satirical in nature.
For the latest World Cup updates and opinions visit The Express Tribune Cricket.