Watch out Kenya! We might let you win

We've deliberately lost to Ireland and Bangladesh in the past - our team is just that generous!

We might be looking at the first upset of the World Cup on Tuesday. This is the day that African minnows, Kenya take on former cricket world and T20 champions Pakistan. And no, it won’t be an upset because Kenya is an amazing talent and has the potential to beat any team on their day.

I mean, that may or may not be true, but the real reason that an upset is a possibility is because they are playing Pakistan. This is a team that can beat the best in the world, on their day, and lose to the worst in the world, if they got up on the wrong side of the bed.

That’s what you think, but it’s all a plan!

I mean, winning is easy. It’s the easiest thing in the world to win and get all the glory and all the joy. It’s definitely a more difficult task to lose, and spread joy among other players and their fans. Now that takes true generosity of spirit.

And Pakistan have been generous many times, and to teams that no one gave the time of day to. For example when we were dumped out of the 2007 World Cup by Ireland. Oh I know, you guys think it was because we played badly, or the Irish were a cunning lot and they had our number.

Of course not! It was all on purpose. We didn’t want the Irish to feel discouraged and disheartened. I mean they had come such a long way, worked so hard, and their fans would have been so disappointed if the team had gone back home without any wins. That would have been cruel and there was no way we were going to let that happen. So, we didn’t just give them a win. No, when we Pakistanis do something we do it in a big way. We gave them the honour of dumping us out of the tournament.

But the Irish probably don’t want credit for the loss of our coach, I think...

Let's then take the case of our loss to Bangladesh, also in a World Cup. Wasim Akram said it was okay because we had "lost to our brothers." See? I told you it was out of love and kindness. Otherwise, we can win every match if we want to. Sure we can! But that would be so greedy, so cruel. And this was Bangladesh’s first win in any World Cup. Yay, for us!

And then who can forget the fact that Pakistan gave the Zimbabweans their first Test cricket victory too. This was way back in the day.

I hope Pakistan is not planning on being similarly generous and kind-hearted against Kenya in their opening match of the World Cup on Wednesday. But you never know. The Kenyans are smarting from the drubbing they got at the hands of the Kiwis and our magnanimous nature might kick in. And if Pakistan decides to be kind and generous, I know, you will all say we lost to Minnows. Such non-believers! We let them win, okay?

It’s not easy you know, being the big-hearted one and making sure that the smaller teams don’t lose hope. I know, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.

For the latest World Cup updates and opinions visit The Express Tribune Cricket.