Pakistani fans, battered by the bat

As a nation we are suffering from the battered wife (fan) syndrome, Pakistan cricket being our abusers.

The definition of the battered wife syndrome is, “signs and symptoms, such as perceived inability to escape, appearing in women who are physically or mentally abused by a husband or another dominant individual.”

This definition may be specific to women, but should be applied to Pakistanis. The abuser being cricket.

From early on this year, the ardent cricket fan has been bombarded with humiliating incidents of limited-overs captain Shahid Afridi trying to “hear” by chomping on a ball; a humiliating white wash in Australia and the creepy phenomenon of Shoania plastered all over our TVs because of Shoaib Malik’s strange relations with his Aisha “Bhaji”.

But apparently we hadn’t even reached the tip of the iceberg yet because the spot-fixing allegations surfaced, which interestingly, Mohammad Amir refutes by admitting that Mazhar Majeed was his good buddy and Salman Butt refutes by shouting, “Are you mad?” at a TV anchor.

So we were left with nothing – no respect and no performance. And the cricket fanatic lost hope as Pakistan took on South Africa.

The Twenty20 whitewash — expected; first One-Day International defeat – expected; 2nd One-Day International — they win? Pakistan loses the next One-Day International only to produce a nerve-wrecking win with one ball remaining.

The last One-Day International approached, with everyone basking in renewed confidence, but our wicket-keeper Zulqarnain Haider goes ‘missing’ after sending a SMS to a journalist, to set yet another humiliating precedent in cricket.

It seems like there’s no escape for the cricket fans but to suffer from what Pakistan cricket dishes out to them and then savour the rare unexpected victories (one wicket and one ball remaining twice!) to reel them back to this cycle of abuse.

So, it seems like we are a nation suffering from this battered wife (fan) syndrome and Pakistan cricket being our abusers. But we still love being battered.