Anushka Sharma is Pakistan’s mauka mauka!

Pakistan needs many, many more women like you; women who have the remarkable ability to make India lose a game.

Zahra Peer Mohammed March 27, 2015
According to Twitter, it appears that Anushka Sharma is the solitary reason behind India crashing out of the Word Cup in the semi-final.

She is also to be held accountable for her beau Virat Kohli scoring only one run and dropping a catch in the vital match against Australia. Because logically, if she hadn’t been there, Kohli would have surely gone on to score a double century and would have, obviously, taken all 10 wickets too.

It does appear that Anushka is Pakistan’s ‘mauka mauka’. Pakistan should have paid for her airfare to witness our game against India on February 15th but alas we let this mauka slip by — if only we had a little more foresight. But now that we do know, let us put this very useful woman to work and let’s hire her to be the next Chacha Pakistan, in disguise of course. From now own, Anushka must make an appearance at every game Pakistan plays against India. This is clearly the only way India can ever be defeated and the only way to ensure that Kohli is limited to just one run per inning.

Problem finally solved!

What’s that you say? Kohli has scored a century in Anushka’s presence at a game at the very same stadium? Oh, that’s of very little significance now because the time you speak of, Anushka was not a magician. She has since then acquired magical powers and is able to, just with the movement of her eyes, make a world class batsman like Kohli play a bad game.

There is no other rational explanation because a sportsman, any sportsman, cannot play a poor shot ever. In fact, I do believe Anushka was in the crowd when Sachin Tendulkar was out for a duck against Pakistan. Scrap that actually. It makes no sense. She was most definitely a spectator all 20 times that Sachin was out for a duck. Yes, of course, that’s what must have happened for sure.

https://twitter.com/SirZaidHamid/status/581017767081476097



https://twitter.com/SirRamizRaja/status/581035735043686400



Some may suggest that the Twitterati firestorm against Anushka is sexist. I, for one, totally disagree. I feel as though the people behind the onslaught are paying Anushka a very high compliment in suggesting that she can so control one of the best batsmen the world has ever seen. To be able to manage such a feat would imply that one is a very powerful and capable woman indeed, so more power to women and way to go Anushka. Pakistan, and it appears Australia, needs many, many more women like you; women who have the remarkable ability to make India lose a game.

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If India won’t have you, we will gladly accept you with open arms.

https://twitter.com/AatifAzio/status/581045174979010561

Hop along the border and accept the role of Pakistan’s mauka mauka because if it isn’t you, it can’t be anything or anyone else. Duh.

https://twitter.com/Ya5ir_/status/581060851999723521

This post originally appeared here.
WRITTEN BY:
Zahra Peer Mohammed Former Blogs Desk Head and Senior Sub-Editor at The Express Tribune. She is a business graduate from the Queen's School of Business who tweets @ZahraPeer (https://twitter.com/ZahraPeer). She blogs at zahrapeer.wordpress.com
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.

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COMMENTS (21)

Trigga | 5 years ago | Reply | Recommend Anushka or deepika ...thankgod these nation lost though , i'll drink to that ...cheers :*
Poonum Zahur | 5 years ago | Reply | Recommend Yar aik match main kohli didn't perform , 1st game lost & they are out of the World Cup ,It has nothing to do with poor anoshka sharma. Hamary players bhe travel with their gfs n wives etc !!! One shouldnT drag her in ,,, how can we be that stupid !! Theek hy hum nahi tou India nahi but sports tak he raho ! Why going into someone's personal life . She just appeared in a movie with a very strong n nice msg . Spare her please ,,, I am appalled by men & their thinking towards women these days because it's not one but respecting all women !! Secondly those women aren't worthy of praise who make other women look down upon !!! It is shameful specially as an educated One .........
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