No guts, no glory, no brain, same story

Being Hamlet

Every time she’s invited to a social event, she finds herself in a little bit of a dilemma. Mind you, she is very social, loves chatting with a crowd and is popularly thought to be the life of a party. But the decision making to go, or not to go, to an event always weighs heavy on her mind.

It would have been easier if the decision to not attend the party had been taken a couple of days after the invite was received and regrets had been offered to the host, rather than a last minute excuse on not showing up, or a last minute rush to attend the party. In this case, she even ticks off mutual friends who want to know if she is attending or not, but she is always unsure.

He wanted to take his daughter to a concert; she wanted to go, he wanted to take her, and the tickets were cheap, but he just could not decide. Three months passed, and the concert was in a couple of days. He paid seven times the price of the original ticket. If only the initial commitment to decision making had been as strong as the desire to go to the concert.

“Darlin’ you got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?”

These are the lyrics of a song from the 80s by the English rock band The Clash. The words have stuck in my head ever since and every time I see someone struggling with a decision, I can’t help but sing the song in my head, and at times out loud.



Why is it that only some of us experience external difficulties due to internal conflicts that make taking immediate positive action impossible? Yes, indecision is the bane of the existence of many of us; we have a firm belief in our resolution but lack execution, and when we, as individuals, are presented with a choice, our dilemma of ‘to be or not to be’ puts us in a keyless mind lock. Our inability to make a decision positions us, and the ones around us, in a life situation with no easy way out.

Most who linger on decision-making suffer from melancholy, or a deep-rooted unconscious or conscious fear that their decision may have negative implications. And then there are others who believe that it is better to make a decision and live with its consequences rather than living in a constant state of dilemma and perplexity. Living in a perpetual state of indecisiveness is very burdensome on the human mind, one lives in a constant state of self-doubt, irresolution, insecurity; generally speaking, a persistent aura of unease surrounds as does the uncertainty.

What does a delay in decision-making lead to when given a choice?

Eventually, the decision will have to be made; it may be a decision about a life-altering situation like marriage or a change in job, or a simple thing as to meet a friend for lunch or not. Nonetheless, both require some kind of a decision to be made.

Most successful people are risk-takers, hence the saying, “no guts, no glory”. Then again, being Hamlet is not about making glorious decisions, but instead being able to act without too much scepticism and hindrance towards a purpose, because at times, a delay may result in an occasion being lost forever, or a last minute frenzy. And tread cautiously because the Hamlet in us almost always finds a reason to relapse into indolence and over indulgence of contemplation thus losing the power of action and purposefulness.

I have seen many a situations where a delay in affirmative resolution by a reasonable adult has led ill-equipped others making a decision on his or her behalf; and the outcome rarely leads to a happy ending. To take the example of a married woman having an affair, if the husband finds out and is anguished about it, he has a choice to make. If he chooses to be indecisive about what course of actions to take and delays the inevitable discussion, he may end up losing the children, the house and end up paying alimony too. But by taking decisive actions at the right time, he may be able to stay in the game and stump the other players with the winning hand. Be mindful of the reality that a difficult situation does not disappear, and delaying making a decision on it almost always makes it worse.

A cousin of mine always needs a way out; she can never make a timely decision.

“I need a door open for a way out at all times, or at least till the very end.”

Hence she always ends up paying double for her airline tickets, can never plan a vacation, is always delayed and is usually bogged with everyday mundane decisions because she just cannot commit in the moment, or just has an inherent need to procrastinate.

There is many a logic in delayed decision making; gathering more information, the choice between two bad options. Or the choice to make a decision where the outcome is unclear, and surely, it is wise to ponder and contemplate, but not all the time and certainly not in everyday tasks.

My father’s professor at IBA, Dr Nisaar, was a wonderful man. There was an incident related to him which my father always quoted when advising the young ones in the family to make a timely and decisive decision. One of Dr Nisaar’s friends was taken ill and was at a local hospital in Karachi. Every day for over a month, Dr Nisaar, while teaching his Business Administration class, would ask his students if he should go to the hospital to check on his friend and chat with him about the good old days. His question was,

“Jaoon ya nahin jaoon?”

(Should I go or not go?)

A month and a half later, the friend died and Dr Nisaar ended up going to the funeral. Funnily enough, ‘jaoon ya nahin jaoon’ became the quote of choice in our family when faced with making a timely decision.

Life is full of uncertainties, what ifs, it could have been different, I wish I had more time before making this decision. But then again, that is the beauty of life; its unpredictability and predictability make it elusively tangible. Next time, when faced with a decision, research, ponder, contemplate, meditate and take a grand leap of faith and walk away from the sweet prince of Denmark we lovingly call Hamlet.

I am talking to you. Yes, you. Make the decision. In the words of the brand we can’t name,

“Just do it!”