Dear Arham, I will never forget the last day you went to school...

Take care of yourself, little brother. I miss you. Please talk to me in my dreams just once. Just once. At least try.

Shaheer Khan December 21, 2014
To my dear brother Arham,

My Arham, that day, before you left for school, I remember seeing a vibrant smile on your face. It was as if you were excited for the day to come.

I miss that smile now.

I think about how energetic and cheerful you were that day. I still remember how, in the car, you kept going on and on about playing video games with Zawar and kept boring me with your chatter. I would give anything to hear you speak now. When Abbu dropped you to school, I remember how you rushed to pick up your bag and ran excitedly to class. You were so full of energy.

Photo: Shaheer Khan

You were always so nice to everyone around you. I keep thinking of how you remembered all of our birthdays and prepared special gifts for us days before they were due. You loved us all equally.

Ami says that the night before that day, you came downstairs just to bid all of us a goodnight.

Maybe you knew you were going to leave us soon...

I remember how you loved playing warfare games, like the Call of DutyCrysis and Battlefield. You wanted me to play Crysis because you believed it was ‘action packed’ – but I never played it.

I am going play it now. I’ll play it again and again, little brother.

Photo: Shaheer Khan

This morning I went to your class. It was empty. There were school bags placed on empty seats and each bag had a page with the name of the owner written on it. Your teacher cried when she showed me your seat. She said that you sat in front of her, in the front row of the class.

She really loved you, Arham. I could tell from the look on her face and from her tear-drenched eyes that she really loved you. Everybody loved you, Arham. Everybody loved you because you loved everybody too.

I heard Madam Qazi showed profuse bravery and saved the children, Arham. You know, she had asked me to do a presentation on career options for intermediate students. She had asked me twice but I didn’t do it. Why was I being so lazy?! Why couldn’t I have just done this small task for her? I wish I had.

While I was passing by the administration area of our school with Ammi, I could smell a certain fragrance in the air. Ami could smell it too! The scent was something that I had never smelt before. I could tell that it was not an ordinary, earthly smell, but I couldn’t find where it was coming from.

Photo: Shaheer Khan

I know you are happy up there with Allah (SWT). I always pray after Isha prayer and ask Him to let you talk to me in my dreams. Even if it is just once. At least once. You should talk to me. Abu and Ami need it. I need it. We know you are okay, but I just want to hear you say it.

Take care of your friends there. I can imagine how festive the air around Jannat must be right now, I am sure you lit up the sky with your presence. Allah (SWT) must be so happy that such innocent and brave souls are now near Him.

Photo: Shaheer Khan

Take care of yourself, Arham. I miss you.

And please talk to me in my dreams just once. Please. Just once. At least try.

Your bhai always,


PS: The game that you were downloading before you left for school is downloaded now.
Shaheer Khan A sophomore student at UET Peshawar who is studying Civil Engineering.
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.


Desi Gunner | 8 years ago | Reply Had something like this happened in Delhi and not Peshawar......celebrations and jubiliations would have erupted in Pakistan.
Mrs Ibrar | 9 years ago | Reply As i was reading my eyes were burning with tears...cant say much as no word can explain how i felt the pain. No word is enough to say and make you feel better...All i can do is to pray for the families going through this tough time. again lost heart grieves for you all
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