(Un)quotable quotes from Pakistan's best

Politicians are supposed to be good orators, but their bloopers keep us entertained year-round in Pakistan.

They’re supposed to be good orators, but our orators just can’t avoid bloopers.

It’s only after they have made statements in front of the media that politicians realize what blunders they have made.

Often, they end up saying something vague which can be easily distorted.

The “official statement” from their party, blaming the media for misquoting their noble thoughts, quickly comes to their rescue.  Sometimes, they wash their hands of the whole affair by refusing to acknowledge 'misquotations' as their own.

More often than not, politicians intentionally issue statements to stir controversy, which ends with promises not to continue the war of words. This tactic is also used to divert public attention from more pressing issues.

Below are few golden quotations from our elected leaders. These quotes are memorable not because they were powerful, but simply because they sounded hilarious coming out of politcians’ mouths. Living in an entertainment-starved country like Pakistan, the media gives maximum attention to crazy statements and leaves the nation amused until another quote pops up.

• The National Reconciliation Ordinance (NRO) is a medal and I regret over not to be listed in it. Governor Punjab, Salman Taseer

• Everyone, whether he is a Baloch, Sindhi, Seraiki, Pashtun or Punjabi should be given an equal right to do corruption. Minister of State for Defence Production, Abdul Qayyum Jatoi

• The other issues are all domestic and could be discussed later on... I can co-exist with a pig, but not with a Punjabi. Nawab Kher Bakhsh Marri, Baloch Nationalist Leader

• I am not among those who offer sacrifice but I am among those who take sacrifices. Chief of PML (F), Pir Pagara

• We in the PML-N opposed Musharraf’s policies and rejected dictation from abroad. If the Taliban are also fighting for the same cause, then they should not carry out acts of terror in Punjab. Punjab Chief Minister, Shahbaz Sharif

• Let's persuade people to consume less sugar and then we will see where these hoarders sell their sugar. Information Minister, Qamar Zaman Kaira

• The Governor Punjab’s status is no better than toilet paper. Punjab Law Minister, Rana Sanaullah

• I’m a badmash and know well how to deal with this lot. Sindh Home Minister, Zulfiqar Mirza

• You must understand the environment in Pakistan. This has become a moneymaking concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped. Former President General Pervez Musharraf

• I don’t say that there is no corruption in my ministry, but the question is    where it is not. Ghulam Ahmad Bilour, Federal Minister Railways

• (Burying women alive) is a centuries-old tradition and I will continue to defend it. Federal Minister for Postal Services, Israr Ullah Zehri

• We were ready to break Pakistan and were much more determined to chant slogan of ‘Pakistan Na Khapay’ : No need for Pakistan. Sindh Home Minister, Zulfiqar Mirza

• I apologise to the departed soul of the Sikh ruler (Ranjit Singh), for frequently quoting his name in meetings for the wrong reasons. I was wrong. Ranjit (Singh) was a great administrator of Punjab. Leader of Opposition, Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan

• Iftekhar Chaudhry is the scum of the earth – a third-rate man – a corrupt man. Former President General Pervez Musharraf

• Even more gorgeous than I had expected, now I know why the whole of   America is crazy about you. If he (the cameraman) is insisting, I might hug you. President of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari

• Punjab law minister Rana Sanaullah is a ‘manjan seller’ Central Secretary for Information of Pakistan Peoples Party, Fauzia Wahab

• His (Altaf Hussain’s) arrest seems only weeks away and investigations being conducted by Scotland Yard and police are in their final stages. Chairman, Pakistan Tehreek e Insaaf , Imran Khan

• Look, you will soon see Shaukat Aziz ditching General Musharraf and joining the political leadership of the opposition parties. Chief, PML N, Nawaz Sharif

• I am not afraid of jail's mosquitoes. President of Pakistan, Asif Ali Zardari


• The MQM will openly support the patriotic generals if they take any martial law-type action against corrupt politicians and feudal lords. Muttahida Qaumi Movement chief Altaf Hussain

• Tehrik-e-Insaf will back military rule in the country for the sake of stability. Chairman Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf, Imran Khan

• My own brother approached me and said lala (brother), ‘Can I also join your party?’  I told him to run away … he is a known gambler. Dr. Sher Afgan Niazi, Member of All Pakistan Muslim Leagues

• I have sent Gilani to the PPP and I will call him back to the PML when he becomes tired. Chief of PML F, Pir Pagara

• The PML-N has appointed Punjab Law Minister Rana Sanaullah as a “loudspeaker” Governor Punjab, Salman Taseer

• How did a person, who used to sell tickets at the Bambino cinema in Karachi, reach the Surrey Palace and became richer than Queen Elizabeth before his ascendancy to the presidency? It is a million-dollar question that only the PPP top leader has to answer. Spokesman Pakistan Muslim League N, Siddiqul Farooq

• Yesterday, when I asked Khwaja Imran Nazir for a lift, he was listening to Munni Badnam, an Indian song, in his car. MPA Punjab Assembly, Hassan Murtaza