10 Things that I learnt from my husband, Sarmad Tariq

The 'chair man' touched many lives through his writings and experiences of hardship. This is what I learnt from...

Zehra Kamal Alam May 08, 2014
Sarmad Tariq, the motivational speaker, life coach and the ‘chair man’ has touched many lives through his experiences of hardship and writings. As my life partner for the last 13 years, I have also learnt a lot from him.

Here is a list of my personal favourite top 10 things that I want to share with all his admirers:

1. Do not form an opinion about people on the basis of how they look, what they wear or their general demeanour. Every human being has some positive qualities that can only be discovered if we allow ourselves to do away with the judgments and discover those qualities about them.

2. Do not waste your energy and time on getting angry and worked up about the little things in life. Save it for things that really matter. And when you let your anger out, express to show your care not disrespect.

3. Do not let your fears, complexes and anxieties keep you away from pursuing what your heart tells you to. Time will not wait and there will be no tomorrow, so just do what you have to do and the rest will follow.

4. Do not let your challenges become your excuses. Seize them as opportunities that need to be explored and given meaning to.

5. Do not follow your passion, hobbies and interests half-heartedly, without full knowledge about them. If you ride a bicycle, a jeep, dance, learn all about its history, mechanics and the works because it’s only through this learning that you will excel in the passion.

6. Do not let the child or teenager in you die as you age. Allow yourself to feel the excitement about the small, the silly and fun things in life no matter what age you are.

7. Do not find excuses for doing or not doing something that you did not want or wanted to do. While your age, gender, class, disability may make things tough for you, it’s not a good enough excuse.

8. Do not waste your time ‘flipping through the TV channels’. There needs to be a purpose behind what you do and that purpose, no matter how big or small, should make sense to you. So, even when you watch a movie, listen to music, meet your friends, you of all people should know why you are doing it.

9. Do not take your loved ones for granted so keep telling them how much you love, adore and care for them.

10. Do not try to control the thoughts, opinions and lives of your loved ones. Let them live the way they want to as they are responsible for their lives. Your concern for your loved ones should not cross the boundaries of their personal space. Emotional black mail and self-pity are tools of destruction, not construction.
Zehra Kamal Alam An Islamabad based practising Clinical Psychologist with 16 years of experience working with children and adults especially on trauma and violence related issues. She also works freelance in the development sector and tweets as @zehrakamal (https://twitter.com/zehrakamal)
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.


Zoya Ishaq | 10 years ago | Reply Sarmad Bhai never failed to surprise us with his unique set of beliefs, thoughts, words, ideas. Still can't accept he is no more. You must be very courageous. He mentioned you at his sessions too. Thank you for sharing this :)
Fezan | 10 years ago | Reply What a great man he must be, that you learnt so wise things of life. RIP Sarmad Tariq
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