Is this what it feels like to be invisible?

There are times in one’s life when one wants to be invisible. And then there are those unthinkable times when one actually is. 

Flight MH 370.

What does it feel like to be invisible?

That is a question that crosses my mind as this story of this plane unfolded.

As I close my eyes, I imagine that there I am, in all my glory, looking forward to life, availing all the opportunities that come my way, aspiring to make something of myself and on the verge of achieving what I always dreamt of.

I am a professional.

Dr Yuchen Li (left) finished his doctoral engineering degree from Cambridge University and had recently started working as a geotechnical engineer in Beijing. Source: BBC

There I am, just starting a new life, a new beginning with the one I love, the one who completes me and inspires me to become a better version of my own self, makes me feel loved and shows me that I am actually capable of loving someone other than myself.

I am a lover.

Former Montreal residents Muktesh Mukherjee, 42, and his wife, Bai Xiaomo, 37, were amongst the passengers of MH370. Source: BBC

There I am, spent all my life striving to give this part of my own being, a life that they deserve, a life that is better than I ever had, the adoration and care that I did not know existed in me until I had one of my own. I have become selfless.

I am a parent.

A grieving mother holds a portrait of her son and his wife, who were amongst the pannsengers of MH370. Photo: File

And there I am in the arms of an angel, the guardian who has been sent down for me, only for my protection. As I lay in her arms, without a care in the world, knowing that all my whims and tantrums will be fulfilled just by whining or crying a bit. The only worry that I have in life at that moment is that I do not want be away from her. She is my life, she is my world.

I am a baby.

Photo: File

This is who I am.

This is me travelling on a flight that will change my destiny or maybe this destiny will change me. I have yet to find out. But what I am sure of is that all this is felt, all this is accounted for, and all this is true.

I am not invisible, I am here and I do exist.

All this is real and this is my story.