Speak up!

People say even when women do not have issues, they will try to create one, despite having everything in life


Ishrat Ansari April 14, 2015

I find the perception that women complain a lot a tad too sexist. People say that even when women do not have issues, they will still try to create one, despite having everything in life. An elderly former colleague commented thus and it made me stop to think if this really was the case!

I don’t believe that women always complain. It could vary from person to person. In my opinion, women just want to discuss what is happening in their everyday lives, including in their relationships. This should not be taken as complaints. The friend went on to say that these days, women seem so unhappy in their marriages that they should just part ways with their husbands; but instead they continue to linger on and complain to others, which causes depression.

On the other hand, men do not talk and complain about their wives as much, which means they are more satisfied with their lives. Of course, in this patriarchal society, who would be more satisfied than men?

I replied that this is just because most men are egotists and never admit their faults and defeats. It’s the whole Alpha male thing again. They never say sorry even if they are at fault while women always submit to their husbands to save their marriages. And besides, women also experience systematic violence and abuse much more than men. A number of NGOs are working for women’s rights and they support them because women do actually suffer physical and mental abuse at the hands of their husbands and in-laws.

Similarly, if men think they also face abuse by their wives, they should have the courage to talk in the media and share their stories with the world. A few days ago, a woman and her 12-year-old daughter were raped in Ghotki and their hut was set on fire. The girl succumbed to her injuries while the mother sustained severe burn injuries she is in a critical condition. If men are also victims like women, then why they are quiet, I asked. Is this because men are emotionally stronger and have strong nerves while women easily speak their hearts out, and then become victims of physical and mental abuse? Or it is only rarely that men encounter violence when compared with women?

I would like to suggest to women who are reading this that they should not suffer in silence, regardless of how much someone reprimands them for speaking up. To those listening to victimised women, please try not to make a mockery of women who have genuine issues in their marriages or other relationships.

Published in The Express Tribune, April 14th, 2015. 

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