The writer is a journalist in Delhi whose work has appeared in The Christian Science Monitor and The New York Times. He tweets @DilliDurAst
Dear 1.2 billion Indians: I am deeply honoured and humbled that you have chosen me as India’s prime minister. I want to thank all those who voted for me and as for those who did not, I have five years to deal with them.
Mine is a journey of great struggle and heroism which, like the story of every great leader, will inspire all of humanity. I was born a humble RSS worker, I climbed on the shoulders of the gurus whose guidance I sought. Having climbed up, I kicked them aside, be they Keshubhai Patel or Lal Krishna Advani. All is fair in love and war and yet, is it love that we are talking about?
When I became the chief minister of Gujarat, I saw a great opportunity to become a Hindu right-wing hero by fiddling while letting Rome burn. I let others do the burning. I did nothing. Why do some people needlessly blame me even now? Even the Indian Supreme Court agrees that there is no evidence that I did anything.
Doing nothing made me a villain, so I thought I might as well do something. I stopped paying attention to such things as the Gujarat Assembly or the cabinet, and like any Dear Leader should, took charge of affairs without these allegedly democratic hindrances. And I realised that the one community for whom the categories of hero and villain change quickly is the business community. If you let them do business, environment, labour and land be damned; you are their hero.
And who better than a Gujarati to know that? I am like a Gujarati entrepreneur, who takes limited risks and worries about business, not the loony left critics.
But sometimes, the weaknesses of the critics helps you. You have to strike when the iron is hot, move in when the marketplace has opportunity. In 2009, when the Congress came back to power a second time, the BJP was in a listless state. The cadres were demoralised. The RSS persuaded Advani ji to step aside as party president. The party was directionless. Should they do hard Hindutva or soft opposition, what will work? I kept quiet.
Then, the Congress began faltering like a building coming down in an earthquake. So, you see it is the Delhi politicians who made space for me. These heavyweights of Lutyens’ Delhi, be they the BJP or the Congress, showed such weakness, I’d have been foolish to not disrupt their game.
I am grateful to the Congress for being so foolish in its second term that it began to make the moribund BJP look good. Would I have dared to pitch myself for prime minister in 2009, when the Congress had ruled a fairly good five years? No. But another five years later, the time was ripe for me to take charge of the BJP. My trusted ones took over the BJP as they will now take over India.
I am also grateful to the Delhi intelligentsia, the writers, journalists, jhola wallahs and general secularists. They claimed to be the good guys but didn’t have brains. Their free pass to the Congress on the 1984 Sikh pogrom because they wanted to stop the Babri Mosque breakers, left them with no credibility. One push and nudge and their self-righteousness turns into hand-wringing. But they were even better with me. First, they made me an untouchable villain, and then they forgot about me. While I sharpened my knives, they worried about such things as Walmart coming to India, which it still hasn’t, because it said it was waiting for me. Ha ha!
The jhola wallah crowd can make the Congress do well. They can become the sounding board of the Congress, except that many in them were all too happy to be co-opted by Sonia Gandhi. The jhola wallahs made it all about me when the Congress was firing up water cannons on people asking for something to be done about violence against women. And the jhola wallahs even said that the Anna Hazare movement was our conspiracy because we were supporting it. People could see these Delhi leftists were all noise, no reason.
To the Congress and the Delhi secularists, my humble thank you for making me the prime minister.
Published in The Express Tribune, January 3rd, 2014.
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COMMENTS (21)
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@Gp65: Mods had knocked off my yet another post. I am now loath to retype the whole thing. Anyway, I do have some rudimentary info of results of Delhi election, which is known to every school boy now. Do read @Lalit again who has understood what I was trying to convey. BJP & Modi both lost much more than the already lost Congress, (which still has a finger in the pie) & that is:-The Opportunity. Of what use right arithmetic when calculations are wrong?
@Rakib I agree with you that AAP has taught a lesson or two to both the bigger Parties(although Cong has become smaller than the débutante in Delhi).Dr Harshawardhan should have bitten the bullet,and should have accepted the responsibilities of CM,but the BJP's lost opportunity was grabbed by the Shrewd Politician in AK. he has lodged himself by his swift actions,and made a permanent dent into the otherwise frozen votes of Delhi.Delhi results should be counted as defeat for BJP,as their vote share has reduced,so they have lost some of the voter's confidence.also the main opposition Party's inability to en-cash the anti govt emotions and squander it to a political novice spells a not very bright future.Congress has tried to control some damage by supporting AAP,and in the process by opposing AAP, BJP has not only turned herself into a villain but also a hypocrite of tallest order.
Get a life Mr.Shivam Vij.
@gp65: Your info on numbers is correct but that's not whole story. Shiela's Congress got wiped out of Delhi but received lease of life from BJP thru AAP. BJP did not learn from its own history. When Vajpayee allowed his 13-days & then 13-months old Ministry to be voted out the shrewd man knew what would be the reaction of people that wanted stability. He returned with better numbers. If only Harsh had gone ahead & formed a ministry & taken a chance (esp. after AAP mentioned that it will not vote against Govt in trust-vote) people would have been with him even if he had lost. And if he had survived he could have taken initiative away from AAP & made Congress a total non-entity. He read the mood wrong & made his success subject to AAP failure! AAP number seats are now inconsequential since it now controls Congress in vice like grip. Therefore effective seats are 36! It is now only performance that matters.
To the Congress and the Delhi secularists, my humble thank you for making me the prime minister. (Author)
While the epistle reads like "Confessions of a vicious mind" at least the quoted line was relevant,till recently. It now appears some other kind of Delhi Secularists led by Kejariwal have damaged both Congress & BJP beyond repair making mincemeat out of Madam's minions & Modi's men. The paradigm has shifted dramatically. AAP will not be dislodged out of Delhi now; if it is, it shall re-lodge with greater strength.. And it will do something that Congress can not: take the fight right into Modi's home turf in Gujarat. Sonia, Manmohan, Advani, Modi will be history, the young shall re-write the fates. Any which way, so long as India Wins!
Few people r there whose roji roti sirf modi ki name se chalte hai...........
the dead horse is being flogged,its old wine in a new bottle.author has tried his hand on satire but in vain.such articles only force people to inquire about Modi and he comes out with flying colors.sometimes i feel perhaps he pays for such articles because during a last few years we have seen a barrage of hate-Modi campaign in media,only making him more popular.people like Sibal,Digvijay,Manish and a tribe of Modi bashers have made people to stop and take notice of Narendra Modi.no wonder above gentlemen are not visible now a days.` Congress has smelled the defeat.Arvind K is surely a PM material but his AAP is in infancy and handing over one tenure to Modi will not be a bad idea.AAP seems to be frustrating both Congress and BJP in coming general elections.for BJP it may be a slip of cup like recent Delhi results but Congress is facing an existential crisis in coming elections.however the fresh breeze of old school politics of simplicity and renunciation is surely welcome.
@Mr.Shivam Please change your topic as it doesn't entertain us anymore. As 'secular' gov is not going to return in next 10 years to come , we can reply on Modi and other new parties.
@Manish Rohera & @ Aam Aadmi: Whoever it is that wins, Aam Aadmi or Mr. Modi, as a Pakistani I hope that Indians will hold them accountable to development and progress. The communal card is a diversion from real issues of the masses. Our people, on both sides of the border, are decent, honest, spiritual, and hard working people. They are also emotional and easily misled. The hate-mongers are few and far in-between but somehow are able to capture the most attention. What will delight me is the election of someone who will make the people's life a little easier, provide more and decent paying jobs, affordable housing, nutritious food, and better healthcare. Our people need to be healthy, happy, and living longer. Educated and intelligent people should insure that they do not allow the bigoted and the narrow-minded to malign and instigate hatred.
I was waiting with bated breath, when are the left liberal columnists of Aakar Patel/ Shivam Vij/ Seema Mustafa class are going to start writing their rhetoric about Modi. I am thankful to Mr Vij for not handing me a disappointment! Thank you. I hope more will come in the coming weeks by the other columnists denouncing the verdict of an Ahmedabad Court rejecting to prosecute Modi, giving him a clean chit.
Aam Admi Party is the black cat which has come in the way of Modi and definitely jeopardize his plan to the throne of Delhi.
@Aam aadmi: Modi for 2014 please understand Arvind will get only 15-20 seats it will be impossible for him to be PM but he will break 20 seats of BJP and Arvind is new CM let us see how he does don't jump the gun from now or else you will be left with neither Arvind nor Modi but some other idiot
So shocking thw journalist has not shown full facts. The magesterial court has declard that ARMY WAS CALLED IN THE 1ST DAY AND IMMEDIATELY ALTHOUGH THEY WERE BUSY WITH PARAKRAM. Journalism should be written With facts anf not driven by feelings. I fear that indian Journalists wont accept the verdict given by indian Ppl of electing modi which is the most likely choice and that they will start badly criticIzing him like this journo-shivam vij did just now.
So shocking and in a poor taste. Accept the indian judiciary views and move on journo. Try to introspect why indian ppl like modi rather than thinkibg they have been fooled by fake facts nd etc. This article is a nonsense article. ( btw I am am atheist )
''we need to teach false history, because we find in them a false HINDU religion, we need to teach them english so they become less Hindoo'' -Thomas Macauley, Creator of the Secluded Hindu.
Rest assured Indians won't be hearing this speech from Modi. I was a die hard Modi supporter, but not any more as I see Aam Aadmi Party as better alternative. In all likelihood you will be hearing the speech from Mr Kejriwal and not Modi. Try to write the speech for Kejriwal next time.
Nonsensical rantings of a frustrated soul
Height of Insanity
A jholla wallah aspiring writer from 1.2 billion morons
lol I 'm beginning to like Modi. We could use a no nonsense leader in Pakistan as well. Nawaz is to soft and not very bright.