Each man’s death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know, For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.”
— John Donne, Meditations XVII
I must not have been more than seven-years-old. It was a school holiday and we were going to the beach with a group of my parents’ friends and their children. As I hovered excitedly around my mother in the kitchen while she packed lunch, I noticed her unsmiling face. Afraid that I was somehow the cause of her displeasure, I hesitantly asked what was wrong. Her response then still echoes in my mind: “We should not be going out today,” she said, “It is Ashura … it is not a time for celebration, but for contemplation.”
I must have looked at her in surprise because we were not Shias, and must have been relieved when we did go to the picnic after all. But her comment had awakened my curiosity. I remember asking a million questions as we passed a Shia procession or spotted a beautifully decorated horse on our way to the beach. I also remember my parents answering each of my questions clearly and without judgment. Perhaps, even they did not know it, but in doing so, they were imparting to me, some of my earliest lessons in tolerance, coexistence and respect for another.
Throughout my teenage years, Ashura was synonymous with my mother’s admonitions: “Don’t wear red”, “Don’t play loud music” and “Don’t disturb me during the telecast of Salam-e-Aakhir”. I had found these strictures old-fashioned and promptly ejected them from my life when I moved away. For my mother, however, Ashura remained a time for community-building (she would cook something special to send to the neighbours) and, more importantly, for trying to understand the events that had threatened to wrench the Muslim world asunder so soon after the death of the Holy Prophet (pbuh).
The significance of my mother’s attitude towards Shias only started to sink in over the last few years, as the world around me grew increasingly intolerant and only became starker as I watched with gaping horror, the footage of the Quetta and Abbas Town massacres. I realised then more fully, that in respecting Ashura, my mother was reaffirming the significance of Karbala for all Muslims irrespective of whether they were Shia or Sunni, and in doing so, she was not only making her unique and individual contribution to peace, but also training another generation — her children — to continue making this contribution.
My mother, of course, has no inkling of the public implications of her private beliefs. Her empathy for the protagonists of Karbala — whether it was Hazrat Imam Hussain (RA), Hazrat Bibi Zainab (RA) or the infant Hazrat Ali Asghar (RA) — stemmed from an appreciation of humanity rather than a reaction to the politics that flowed after the event. She felt, at a visceral level, that like her the martyrs of Karbala were ordinary people, bound to each other by ties of filial love. But she also realised that unlike her, they were special due to their close bond with her beloved Holy Prophet (pbuh), their uncompromising courage in the face of adversity and their resolve to die for their faith.
As I think about the perpetrators of Quetta and Abbas Town massacres, I wonder at the circumstances in which they may have been raised.
I wonder at the extent of the deprivation they may have suffered and the severity of the indoctrination they may have received, that has succeeded in blotting out all human feeling from their souls.
And even as I realise that their actions stem from the deep fragmentation, indifference and self-absorption that has come to characterise our society, I also realise that this is not the time for extending sympathy to them, but for standing firm in the call for strong punitive action. Failure to do so on our part will only take us one step closer to the time when they come for us.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 14th, 2013.
Correction: An earlier version of this article mistakenly mentioned Hazrat Zainul Abedin (RA) in place of Hazrat Ali Asghar (RA). The error is regretted and has been rectified.
COMMENTS (22)
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Just so well said. So true and so important. May we all call for tolerance and respect, and call out those who practice intolerance.
I totally agree with you that she not only practiced peace and tolerance, herself but instilled it into her children as well. Sanity in our society exists because of such people, otherwise we are just a mob!
One of very few article which hit the soul. No cosmetic rhetorics no exaggeration but a simple narration of common Pakistani feeling. I would be worst nightmare if we associate Hussain(R.A) with some sect.
Well said.I like your comment God Bless u.
@Amber Darr:
Thank you for your kind sentiments, may you and your family forever remain blessed and happy under the sadqa of Maula Hussain a.s
@Parvez: I like your comment more than the article itself . Yes when you do things with the soul , it reflects on your face. My fav peot Rumi had said - when you do things with your soul a, river of joy flows through you.
@Mr. Mooraj, thank you for your very kind words. Whilst comments from all readers mean very much to me and I read them with avid interest, those coming from an eminent writer such as yourself hold a special place. Thank you again and for your encouragement.
Worth-Reading article! The reality "that Karbala is the differentiating line between the actual human-beings having all the human-values and the human-looking brutal animals'' is still inviting the majority of mankind to understand itself.
Good Article but logic for me "Why I stand with the Shias" is that
THEY ARE HUMAN TOO. besides any religion, ethnic group, breed etc
Gulam Rasool"Kuldeep sharma" New Delhi
Thank you everyone. The correction has been duly taken on board. My apologies. One of my parents' friends son was Zain, and I think the name has just stuck in my brain. I will be more careful in the future.
Isnt this the same story for most of us who had their childhood a decade or so more back. Music would be switched off, one would see with awe the people lamenting in the processions, sabeels would be set up by both sunnis as well as shias. Of course, one know who was sunni and who was shia but just as one would know who is male and who is female; this knowledge did not create any bias or distinction based upon this fact.
However, I would go one step further to say, is it different even today at a common man's level - forget about the thugs from either side criminalizing religion. My kids for sure are not aware of any any negative connotation with being a sunni or a shia and I have never felt any thing from or towards my neighours in Karachi. I am sure it is true for most of us except perhaps for those few taken in by extremist clerics of either branch.
What a beautiful article. And so well written. The warmth oozes out of the sentiment. You must write more often Amber. Thank God there are still some sane people in our country who have the courage to say what they feel without mincing words. Muchas gracias..
What I liked about the write-up was that it was not cosmetic. Good one.
Good article except Imam Zain ul Abideen was not an infant. Please fix that otherwise pretty good.
Just a small correction....the infant in Karbala was Hazrat Ali Asghar not Hazrat Zain ul Abideen.
Well written and highlights the way as a society & individually we are deteriorating. Really don't know how things improve from here .... Yes it all starts from home, family, friends .... One correction please; 'the infant Hazrat Zainul Abedin (RA)' ... Imam Zain-ul-Abedin (a.s) was 24 years old and not an infant, the six months old infant is Hazrat Ali Asghar (a.s)
Beautifully said!
Well said. Thanks for your support. Tolerance starts and ingrained at home and flourishes in a society that respects the difference of various people. You don't learn about tolerance in class setting.
A great lesson on the role of parents in shaping a potent future by rearing tolerant and understnading members of the society. I am reminded of my own childhood experiences. Alas, now a days parents are failing!.
You managed to say that so beautifuly because you must deeply believe in what you have said.
Let Man awake, each human race shall respond, Hussain our own, Hussain humanity's bond. - Josh Malihabadi
Karbala awakens humanity in all of us.