Bright yellow heels that give you jaundice feet, bold snake prints that make you look like you just assaulted a viper and printed jumpsuits that make you look like an oversized toddler — do these fashion items sound a bit familiar? Having even one of these in your wardrobe certifies that you’re an indulgent shopper. You’d rather follow the latest styles than invest in trend-proof items that will stand the test of these fickle fashion times.
What you really need are style staples — those basic items that your oversized wardrobe can’t do without. With these foundation pieces in place, your indulgent items won’t look ostentatious; you can revamp your look by adding a few accessories and you can recreate triple the amount of outfits without spending a whole lot of money.
1. Comfortable nude heels
Nude heels are exactly like your best guy friend. They’ll go with you everywhere from a glitzy party at night to a boring lunch without whining or complaining. And even when you have them on for countless hours, they won’t leave you crippled for life or your toes melted and attached to your shoes.
2. Classic white shirt
For this look, you can borrow, steal or raid your brother/dad/husband’s wardrobe and pick his best button-down white shirt. Don’t feel too guilty if it’s expensive, dressy or pressed to perfection because the results of this look are going to be well-worth all the reprimands that will obviously come your way. Now you can either tuck it in over high-waisted pants, pair it with a skirt, bling it up with hoops or accessories, or put a skinny belt over it. If the collar is way too big — which it will be if it’s borrowed, stolen or raided — then turn it up like bad girl Sharon Stone.
3. Little black SK
By that we mean our spin on the little black dress (LBD), which is, drum roll, the little black shalwar kameez. Every girl must have one, and if you don’t, get some slinky black material right away and give it to your darzi asap. Just so you know, black is the most forgiving colour, it disregards your flab and lies about your height — just like your mom does each time you get a good rishta.
4. Perfect pair of jeans
Finding the perfect pair of jeans is like discovering your dream guy, which is why this tall order is pretty difficult to stumble upon just like that. For one thing, the jeans, not guy, can’t be too loose or too tight, too long or too short, not cheap looking or too pricey. And most of all, they must accept and tuck in your fabulous, albeit, large tushie, in some magic pocket. They may seem impossible to find but once you do, your heart and behind will instantly know. And that’s when you shouldn’t be afraid to take out daddy’s supplementary card, (the one reserved for emergencies and this buy totally justifies as one) and bring them home.
5. Red lipstick
Red lipstick does what even the sauciest affair wouldn’t do — it makes you feel sexy verging on the sinful. Even if you’re in your torn, worn-out jammies cleaning your loo, a touch of red on the pout will condition your mind into thinking you’re Dita Von Teese on stage at a burlesque club. Doing so will make boring chores seem less tiresome. But make sure the red that you invest in is from a good brand, otherwise you’ll only feel cheap and retarded, singing in front of a mirror.
Published in The Express Tribune, March 2nd, 2012.