For the love of beauty: The Ugly Truth

Published: January 29, 2012

Mirror, mirror on the wall which one’s the sickest of them all? — This is exactly what we wanted to inquire when we came across these cringe-worthy beauty solutions. If you thought that Cleopatra took beauty a bit too seriously with her consumption of donkey’s milk, these beauty tips will make you think again. PHOTO: FILE

1) The poo factor

The fittingly named “uguisu no fun” is a Japanese powder made from nightingale faeces that was used by 18th century geishas and kabuki actors to wipe heavy white make-up off their faces. Rich in amino acids, the droppings are said to give a soft, porcelain-white shine to your visage, according to

2) Dr slimy seat

According to snail serum has been clinically proven to help maintain the skin as well as improve cell function. Additionally, it helps avoid excess or abnormal scars including acne scarring, counteracts sun damage and prevents premature skin aging and wrinkles. It also accelerates the renewal of damaged tissues.

3) Ant attack

Ants contain high levels of formic acid, which makes one more active. A product named Queen Ant Royal Jelly and Expired Fruits contains crushed ants and this body wash is said to help remove dead skin and oil residues. According to the product’s official website, it is perfect for oily skin and sluggish metabolisms.

4) The snake take

Skin range Planet has come out with an anti-aging cream that has active snake venom (Syn-Ake) in ingredients, which helps in freezing muscles without permanent paralysis or death. Syn-Ake is the key ingredient of UltraLuxe 9, an anti-aging potion by Beverly Hills dermatologist Sonya Dakar, according to

5) Bull semen conditioner

Offered by Hari’s, an upscale salon in London and heralded by its devotees as ‘Viagra for hair’, the Aberdeen Organic Bull Semen Treatment combines the semen of Aberdeen Angus bulls with Katera root to create a protein-rich hair mask, according to

6) Portuguese urine mouthwash

Back in 18th century, wealthy Romans were ready to pay big bags for special mouthwash in which human urine was the main ingredient. It was mandatory that the exotic offering come from a Portuguese source because apparently, the Portuguese pH was much more divine. It was thought to make teeth whiter and breath fresher, according to

7) Placenta cream

Placenta wrinkle cream can slow down the appearance of visible signs of aging by moisturising skin and combating wrinkles.

8) Fish pedicure

This is the revenge of contestants of “Fear Factor” whose plight we sniggered at every time they put their face in a tub of cockroaches. The fish used for this beauty treatment are known as Doctor Fish, or Garra Rufa belonging to the Carp family. They are capable of chewing off calluses and other types of tough skin giving you soft feet.

9) Fish me some eggs

The Caviar facial rivals Botox in its beauty benefits. Freeze-dried caviar is thawed out in room-temperature water and smeared on the face and is absorbed into the skin by way of an electric current. Caviar, rich in amino acids, vitamins and antioxidants, moisturises the skin and helps repair sun damage reports

 10) Leech therapy

The term “blood sucking leech” gets a new meaning with this therapy that celebrities like Demi Moore vouch for. Moore says that to get younger looking skin, one must immerse themselves in turpentine and then allow leeches to feast on your blood. (And we thought clingy boyfriends were bad!)

Published in The Express Tribune, January 30th, 2012

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