If you still haven’t read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey you must read it at the soonest. The simplest reason being that it continues to be a bestseller as it focuses on timeless principles of human dignity, honesty, integrity and principles of fairness. Keeping those 7 habits in mind, I would like to document my journey as a working mom.
Being proactive
The first habit as a mom, yes, is to be proactive (not reactive). It means that one should focus and act on what one can control and influence instead of what one can’t control in any or all situations and circumstances. I have learnt to respond to situations proactively as this has made me more organised and in charge of my life. Being proactive keeps me happy and eager as I now have learnt to deal with situations with ease, especially those that were previously difficult to handle. A good start to the day also contributes to my staying proactive all the time. I have discovered that having a consistent morning routine makes a huge difference in my daily productivity and general likability.
As a working mom, I need all the help I can get, and honestly, morning routines make a night and day difference. I have found that my morning routine sets the stage for my entire day; it keeps me grounded and focused. And like I said, generally, nicer people to be around too. By becoming proactive, I certainly do not procrastinate as an effective working mom is a big time planner. This always works for me, keeps me at peace and makes my day joyous and productive. Early morning I like to sit and silence my mind. I find Salat/meditation is not just a spiritual connection, and it certainly brings peace.
We all need that kind of “me time!” Frankly, it is about de-cluttering and making my mind quiet. Plus five minutes of deep breathing is highly recommended, because it will recharge you. My morning routine actually starts the night before, as every night I set aside 20 minutes to plan for my next morning and do as much as it makes sense before I go to bed.
During the school year, I lay the outfits out for my kids or make sure they do. Or during holidays, I make sure they have some productive plan for the next day such as reading, swimming or some indoor game. I also keep track of what the kids are up to in the day, in-case if I am not home. Make and pack their lunch and snacks the night before, if at all possible. Yes grandparents and a loyal staff at home is indeed a big blessing. Set the breakfast table the night before and put out the dry goods that children will consume in the morning such as cereal, nuts, etc., of course in airtight jars. Train your children to become independent. If you drink coffee in the morning, set the coffee maker so that you just have to press a button when you wake up. If you drink tea, fill the tea kettle with water and have your teabag or loose tea ready for the next morning. Plus a good wholesome breakfast is all what you need or pack a snack for yourself.
Begin with the end in mind
You must define clear measures of success and a plan to achieve them. Yes, set professional and personal goals. Spend time wisely in positive activities at work and at home too. Children observe everything their mother does, because they will never do what they are told to do. They will always follow their parents specially moms. So prioritise and work accordingly.
I teach at a prestigious university and I believe in working a “split shift.” That entails ending work around the time kids get out of school, having family time in the evening, then doing some more work once the children go to bed. The split shift, is one of the most necessary interventions required to be successful at both career and being a mother. Yes building a big career often does require more than 40 hours a week (but) I also want to have a full family life, too.
In order to strike this delicate balance, working during the times kids or other family members aren’t demanding parents’ attention is a key factor for many women. “It’s making use of all the hours in the week in order to make enough space for work but also have plenty of time for your family.” Some women give themselves a to-do list for that split-shift time, making a list of priorities for that night or early-morning shift to keep themselves focussed on their top work priorities.
Put first thing first
Prioritise and achieve your most important goals instead of constantly reacting to urgencies. Waking up earlier than your kids is an essential part of a daily routine for moms. It is essential to catchup on some official work. Check emails. Prioritise, plus it is better to organise yourself for what you want to do first.
This will give you time to organise and be present when your children are awake. Drinking water early morning has many health and mental benefits. It is strongly believed that drinking lemon water will help with alertness and mental sharpness. Since our livers are quite active during sleep, regulating chemicals in our blood.
Drinking water in the morning allows the liver to continue to do its job effectively. Plus, drinking lemon water is thought by some to help with weight loss as well. It is a scientifically proven fact that , “After drinking approximately 17 ounces of water, metabolic rates — or the rate at which calories are burned — increased by 30% for both men and women. An early morning shower, shampoo, an energising face wash, your favourite face moisturizer, clean and fresh clothes, and of course, whatever makes you feel good about yourself. A nice lipstick that goes with your clothes is more than enough. Because, well, I just like it, and a perfume. I am sure you all must have heard. No matter how you feel: Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up, and Never Give Up! This can actually boost your confidence and literally make you feel like you are about to take over the world.
Think win-win
Collaborate more effectively by building high-trust relationships at home and at workplace. It’s a very important trait for all moms to develop at work and at home. As a working mom needs a strong support system at home and at work to juggle responsibilities. It is always a good team that puts up a great show. A good-hearted being although has goals to achieve on a daily basis professionally and personally. But the gist to the game is I win and you win. That is she collaborates with others and builds high trust relationships. It’s very important to develop congeniality and collaboration as this certainly brings stature professionally and personally.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their needs and perspectives. The right word is empathy. Children have their own point of view. I think as mothers we must understand that. Plus professionally, it is very important to understand your colleague’s point of view. If you are teaching like I do, remember everyone sees things according to their perception and upbringing. So try to fit into their shoes.
Synergise
Develop innovative solutions that leverage differences and satisfy all key stakeholders. The key stakeholders at home will certainly be your loved ones, but at work it would be your bosses. Yes, a problem is actually an opportunity. Cause your strategy to solve that problem defines you. As a mother it is all about juggling responsibilities and relationships at home. “Work can be dealt effectively too.
Sharpen the saw
Increase motivation, energy, and work/life balance by making time for renewing activities. So professionally, all working moms know the benefits of training and its impact on our carriers. Education and knowledge broadens horizons. These if you search you will find so many courses, diplomas and degrees online. But trying innovative recipes at home builds a happier home. Especially what your children love or what the rest of the family loves. Reorganising your home on the weekends and planning official work for the coming week will not just keep you at par. You will be more happy and satisfied. Remember these seven habits and always stay happy.
Saadia Khan is a freelance contributor and faculty member at DHA Suffa University
All facts and information is the sole responsibility of the writer