Orphans and children deprived of family care have been a social reality since ancient times, and the ways to care for these children differ from culture to culture. While adoption is considered a Western concept and not legal in most Muslim states, our country maintains a softer but conditional stance on adoption. To integrate abandoned and orphaned children into new families, the Islamic law provides a legal alternative called kafala that has UN recognition under the Convention on the Rights of the Child, to which Pakistan is a signatory
According to a hadees, the Prophet (PBUH) said, “I and the one who sponsors an orphan shall be in Paradise like these two” — and he raised his index finger and the one next to it, holding them together, barely separate. (Bukhari, No. 5304).
Islam highlights the importance of supporting and showing kindness to orphans in various Quranic verses, and Prophet Muhammad advocated for their well-being. Despite religious and cultural inclination towards helping orphans and treating them well in society to become better citizens and later on become a part of the country’s workforce, Pakistan is quite far from what needs to be done for the 4.2 million orphans in the country as per UNICEF numbers.
These neglected children routinely fall victim to child trafficking, child labour, prostitution, and street violence because there's hardly enough money allocated by the government to deal with this issue.
Most importantly, human potential is lost. By being educated, participating in the economy, and by being able to support themselves independently, these kids can grow up to be responsible members and contribute to the society, instead of becoming a burden on it.
Why adopt?
In the absence of an efficient system by the government to handle these children and transform them to assets for the country, hundreds of NGOs are working tirelessly for the betterment of these children. The organisations not only help to sponsor education, food, and necessities for these children, they also encourage people who can afford to adopt such children, do so and provide them a family and a better life that every human deserves.
“The concept of adoption has never been considered open-heartedly in Pakistan,” says Asma Khursheed who was adopted as a baby, twenty-one years ago through an NGO. “Only couples who are going through infertility and have no way to have their biological child opt for adoption while too many couples have to fight their families and age-old traditions to take this big leap in life.”
Khursheed’s adoptive parents were married for six years but even after seeing many doctors and trying out several treatments, they were unable to have a child. One day her cousin suggested to her the option to adopt.
“Initially, neither my parents nor my inlaws liked the idea,” she explains. “But with time, while my mother still disapproved, my father realised that this was the best way to get on with life when there was no other option and years of treatment had not worked for us.”
Like many others, Khursheed’s adoptive mother, an only child, suffered fertility issues. Many other couples in Khursheed’s family were also struggling with similar issues, but she made up her mind about what she wanted to do.
“My adoptive parents had been to a few NGOs, and also spoken to friends, but after two years of waiting, filling out forms and going through interviews, one day, they received a call from an NGO,” shares Khursheed recounting the story she had often heard from her adoptive mother. “They were asked to come over for a meeting in regard to adoption. When they went there, I was handed to them as a 2-day-old baby and since that day our lives changed completely. Since they were told my biological father’s name, my new parents let it stay as my surname as per Islamic values.”
Khursheed was five years old when her mother began to introduce her to the concept of adoption and when she was eight, her mother told her the reality of her situation so that later in life she would not develop negative feelings or self-esteem issues.
“Because I was immensely loved by everyone around me in the house and was introduced to the concept of adoption slowly and gradually over the passage of time, perhaps that is why I turned out to be positive about adoption,” she shares. “Although I have seen cases where children develop anger towards their adoptive parents if they are not handled with love and care.”
The struggle to adopt a child does seem smooth in Khursheed's case but it's not the same for everyone. For instance, Javeria Javed who got married in 2012 and conceived within three months suffered kidney issues after a miscarriage.
“It was so shocking and depressing to go through something like that when you have lost a child and doctors tell you that one of your kidneys has failed,” says Javed, recalling how devastated she was to find out that it was because of her kidney problem that childbirth became highly risky for her.
After recovering from her kidney issues, she strongly felt that a child was missing from her married life.
“One day I went to my nephrologist who suggested that I should adopt,” shares Javed. “I was skeptical because loving your child is natural and I was not sure if I would be able to do justice to an adopted child. But my husband was quite pleased with this idea and he started applying to different organisations and got us registered.”
When Javed got a call from the hospital that there was a premature newborn baby girl up for adoption if she was interested, Javed was on cloud nine. She, her husband and her mother-in-law rushed to the hospital.
“As we waited for the nurse to take us inside the nursery, through the glass partition, I watched babies lying in the incubators,” recalls Javed. “My heart stopped when I saw a tiny one with big, wide eyes, and I couldn’t help wishing it could be mine. As soon as I stepped inside the nursery, the nurse took me over to the incubator where I had spotted the wide-eyed baby girl who I had prayed for. That instance, I had a feeling that was so unreal and inexplicable. Since that day, my world changed and now, even though I have given birth to a son who is a year old, the love, light and peace that our daughter brings to our lives is irreplaceable.”
Religiously, adoption is permitted but under certain specific conditions. Firstly, one cannot change the father's name of the child and secondly, the adopted child does not have a part in inheritance. But the parents can gift property or wealth to the adopted child in their lifetime.
“Since the baby girl was newborn, the hospital staff didn’t know the name of the parents,” says Javed. “After consulting an ulema, we gave her after our family name and have decided to gift property to both our children as we have two small properties for them.”
Several NGOs other than Saylani and Edhi handle adoption within the country whereas the Sarim Burney Welfare Trust International handles adoption only for childless couples living abroad. Apart from adopting children from these organisations, some childless couples adopt within the family or friend circle.
Noman Karim was a little boy when his father died. Since then, his paternal uncle supported Karim’s family throughout his childhood right up to when he could stand on his own feet. His uncle’s son didn’t have a child even after many years of marriage. Karim felt so much love and respect for his uncle, that he gave his second newborn to his cousin.
“My cousin has been like an older sibling to me,” shares Karim. “When I got married, I was blessed with a son and before our second child was even born, my wife and I discussed the idea with my cousin and his wife who were absolutely delighted. We gave our second son to them and now that he is 17, he has been told who his biological parents are, he has my paternity and name on his papers and he is happy to be loved by all his family. He calls us barray abba and barri amma!”
Sadly, on the other side of the coin, cases of abuse have been reported where the guardians being horrible to their adopted children who had to suffer traumatic situations.
In Rubina’s* family, there have been many adoptions, but the most devastating story is of her aunt and her uncle who adopted a baby boy from an NGO, 30 years ago, only to treat the boy badly.
“They were not good parents to him and have been unfair to my cousin on several occasions,” says Rubina. “Eventually, when he found out they were not his real parents, he became frustrated and rebellious, and left their home to settle abroad. He never returned and has no desire to talk to his adoptive parents owing to their unkind behaviour towards him.
The legal angle
Pakistan’s legal system is based on the ‘Shariah’, which does not recognise adoption in the legal sense – that is, to establish a parent–child relationship between individuals who are not related by
blood. Consequently, there is no statutory provision for adoption in Pakistan. Adoption is not governed by any law in Pakistan/Islam. It does not mean that adoption is literally prohibited in Pakistan. Children in especial circumstances are placed under the guardianship of their near relatives or suitable person appointed by court. They will legally enjoy all social and economic rights except for inheritance of property from their guardian.
In Pakistan, ‘Kafala’ defines a system of alternative care that could be considered a form of customary adoption. It provides a model of alternative care that – unlike legal adoption – preserves
the blood ties between the child and its biological parents – an acceptable practice under Islam. Under ‘Kafala’, children are placed under the guardianship of an individual – always the male in
the case of a married couple – through either an informal or formal arrangement.
Is adoption decreasing?
Numbers from several organisations handling adoption reveal that since the scrutiny on the part of these organisations has become strict after cases of mishandling adopted children made headlines, the number of adoption cases are dwindling. Also, according to NGOs, the number of children being abandoned has gone down mostly because people use either contraception or abortion to get rid of unwanted pregnancies. This happens especially when they find out that a baby girl is being born.
“We are unable to cater to the applications as even today there are hundreds of applications for adopting a child, but every child doesn’t meet the criteria required by couples,” says Saad Edhi from Edhi foundation. “Every couple is not open to adopting just any child which is why it takes 2-3 years on an average for us to find the best match.”
He also said that the procedure for adoption is thorough where the couple has to fill out an application form containing basic details such as name address, financial status, requirements, years of marriage, medical conditions, etc.
“The babies usually available for adoption are the ones left at Edhi jhoola [cradle],” says Edhi. “The majority of them are nameless, but sometimes they are left with notes mentioning the name of the child. But in these cases, we are unaware of the parents’ names.
He added that most of the children given for adoption are between one to 15 days of age and abandoned due to several reasons such as economic situation of the parents, gender of the child, as mostly baby girls are left at the jhoola, as well as unwanted babies. “The number of unwanted children has gone down in the last few years due to several medical advances which gives the authority to the parents to abort the child if they ascertain the gender before birth and same goes for unwanted pregnancies,” he explains.
The children abandoned at the gates of the organisations are taken care of by the NGOs from funds that people donate for the well-being of such kids.
“It is not necessary that to take care of the orphan, you have to adopt a child,” says a spokesperson from Saylani. “You can also sponsor them or donate in their name at reputable organisations handling these matters. We have a very transparent system in place where couples can register themselves and then after investigating the family and scrutinising their financial and medical situation, they will be given a child that best matches their requirement, because adopting parents do have preferences of gender and age.
The Islamic point of view for adopting a child is lenient whereas adoption is allowed but the condition of mahram and non-mahram is a factor that has to be taken into consideration. The adoptive mother is supposed to breastfeed the child to make the child mahram to the parents.
“Breastfeeding the child under the age of two years to make it mahram is permissible,” says Mufti Usmani. This can also be done through sisters of either of the parents if the adoptive mother is unable to feed the child.”
He elaborated that it is not permissible for the adopted child to inherit property from the adoptive parents but they can gift the child wealth in their lifetime.
The right to life is both a universal human right and one of the main principles of Islam. Taking in an orphan can literally mean saving a
human life. Beyond necessities like food and shelter, children need affection and nurturing for proper development of a healthy mind and body.